i want to separate myself into a billion pieces and lie under the ocean.
this is the life that holds me still, watching you through a rippled surface

a thousand years for my sun, moon, and stars (do you know who you are?)
just admiring
nothing more.

do i deserve better than this?
i don't know. half the trouble going on in my life is not my fault,
but i feel trapped in this cult.

pick yourself up and try again.

i tell myself all the time that i cannot change the past, so i move forward,
digging deeper and deeper until i cannot see the sky.

it is hard to tell. am i pretending to be happy or the other way around?
i watch others crash down around me

hey, i still don't know.