The Setting is the Rain
First Person P.O.V.
Nameless main character/ One shot// Everyday I tell her how much I like her, and she always ignores it. But still- I'm the only one she finds worth her time. I've just about given up hope, but then-?
Nyaa~! This was dug up! Lookie! Written near the beginning of this year, if I remember correctly... I read it over, and it's really bad but I remember how happy it made me when I first wrote it so I want to put it up! I normally would hate to write something like this, it makes me feel all over dramatic and boy crazy. I don't know. I just think that a lot of people my age are too involved in romance, so writing about it makes me uncomfortable! DX
I like it anyway! ~
"Come on, you're going to make me late," was her reply, as it was everyday. The same question reached her ears every morning, and everyday she responded with that remark before quickening her pace. I had learned long ago to not expect anything different from her.
I never thought I minded. I always just kept walking behind her, silently accepting those words as her answer. I knew how she felt, but I had always been calmly optimistic. Never had I gotten mad, or given up hope. And aside from the fact that I asked her every morning, I never pushed it any further. This was becoming the norm.
Only recently have I grown tired of it. It's probably due to the change in schedules, with us both in high school now. We have to meet earlier, walk a different way. When we arrive at the gate she couldn't be any more popular. There are tons of new boys to ask her out, and I can't help but smile inwardly as she quietly turns them all down. If she is not mine, then she is nobody's. It's a dangerous mindset I have, I must say.
And so I trail behind her as she parts the sea of people on her way to the school building. I don't pass out any looks to the people on either side- I'm afraid I might get upset, they have eyes only for her and I'm the same way. While their eyes may scan her, their minds filled with possible indecency, I can only bring myself to love her.
She doesn't feel the same way, I know that. It does make me sad beyond belief, but I find solace in the fact that she pays the other boys no mind. Even if I'm only a friend, I'm still beyond the other people who try to catch her eye. Sitting at our table, she will talk with me. Her eyes never leave mine. Another boy can come and sit next to her, sometimes get too close. If he touches her, a playful sweeping of the hair off her shoulders, she responds with a, "I think it's time to go," and we get up and leave without a second glance.
This morning she calls before I'm even awake. I roll over to answer the phone, and I'm instantly awake when I hear her voice. Normally I just meet her at her street. She hasn't called me like this once in the past three years we've walked together.
"I've got to get to school early today. I have an assignment I need the library for," she says. I scratch my head. I didn't even know we were allowed to do that.
"Should I meet you soon then?" I ask, and even though I sound sleepy I don't mind in the slightest.
"Oh, okay," she says, and I feel a little upset when I realize she had initially planned to just go herself. I agree to meet her in a few minutes anyway, and rush to get dressed. Not long after, I'm out the door and speeding down my street to hers so she doesn't get impatient.
We start to walk silently, and I start to feel weird. Every morning we leave for school and along the way we talk. Somewhere in that time I always ask her the same type of question- 'What are you doing this Saturday?' or 'Do you want to go out this weekend?'.
Her reply is always the same. We're late. Hurry up. Stop talking.
Today, it's early. I don't know when to ask her, but I know I have to. I do it every morning, expecting the same answer every time.
The same answer. She never says yes. She never will. No matter how many times I ask her, she will turn me down. I realize how foolish I am as this sets in, and I begin to fall back behind her as we walk. This is stupid, she doesn't even need me to walk her to school.
I'm quiet for the longest time, and she simply walks ahead of me. The temperature is cold, and it begins to rain again. It's the foggiest day I've seen this year, and I can hardly breathe. I continue to stare at the ground as the water gets deeper and deeper. I watch it run like a river down into the drain when we stand at the curb waiting for the light to tell us it's okay to cross the street.
The light finally flashes, and we run across the road, the water ankle-deep. "This is ridiculous," she complains, and she grabs my hands and pulls me into the small bus shelter. Sighing, she sits on the bench and I let my mind drift off again as I lean against the cool glass, listening to the rain falling. Maybe all I've done has been for nothing.
Suddenly, she starts to talk.
"So much for getting there early," and she looks at me. I can only give her a somewhat apologetic look- I can only wish I could stop the rain for her.
She clacks her shoes together, her socks are soaked from the ocean of water that is beginning to collect outside. I worry that it will eventually come up over the curb and wash us both away.
"I'm sorry," she says, and I give her a confused look. "For what?" is all I can come up with.
"Every day you ask me to go out with you. It must get boring," she replies and my face turns red. So that's what she saw? A service to her? Like I had to ask her everyday to boost her confidence or something. That wasn't it at all.
"I mean it," I say, and I stare outside at the roads. It made me sad that I had to tell her that after all this time, she should know by now. Time passes and she doesn't say anything, and I get more and more embarrassed.
She finally breaks the silence. She stands up, and I'm confused. There's no way I'd let her go out in that rain, I don't care if she's supposed to be there early. She stands, leaning against the cool glass of the shelter. I can see her eyes reflected in the thick glass, watching the rain. She's always quiet like that, and I'm left to wonder what it is in the world she could think so hard about. I think it's something beyond my understanding, beyond everyone's understanding.
"I never liked you like that," she says, and I wish there was something else for me to hear besides her voice and the falling rain. Something else I could concentrate on before it got too much.
"I don't know why, though," her fingers run over the surface of the glass, the water running down on the other side drowns out her reflection. I think that I would like to run all the way back home to be by myself. It's funny, I still can't bear to leave her out in the rain.
She turns to face me, and I hesitate before I let my eyes meet hers. Once they do I can't look away again. No matter how many times I'm rejected I still love her the same. I always will. She can break my heart, but it doesn't matter. She owns it, what she does with it is her choice.
Suddenly, she says something totally unexpected. Something that over the past few years I'd gradually convinced myself I would never hear, and here it was.
"Do you want to go out this weekend?"
Suddenly I'm hugging her. No hesitation. Had I imagined the situation before I would have surely thought I would have been suspicious- how can she be serious? After all these years, so suddenly? I don't care. The reassurance I need comes when she wraps her arms around me in response.
Only she can be worth it. Only she is worth the years I spent with her, nobody else. She is the only girl that I could possibly think of devoting anything to, and she finally opened up. Even before she had, she had always been there for me.
We stood, sheltered from the rain, the drops falling heavily on the roof before rolling off. I wanted to stand there forever, just holding her. I knew that I couldn't, and my heart felt too light to do so anyway. She looked alarmed when I pulled away, and went to stand in the doorway of the shelter. Her expression turned to one of amusement as I uttered a familiar phrase.
"Sure. But come on, you're going to make me late," and with that we both ran out into the rain, more than happy to go through our schoolday soaked.