Audrey had only the one class today, if anyone could indeed call it a class. It was merely a condition for all students to graduate. So far she had drawn two peculiar looking cartoon characters, each with rather jaded, expressionless faces. What a sad, sad pair of animated folk they were. The purpose of this class was not at all clear. It was Audrey's hypothesis that the board used it to evaluate their students. Why they should need evaluation, she had no clue. She had no objections though, Audrey was competent, her only problem being her mouth sometimes had a mind of it's own.
"Huh?" Looking dazed and confused she answered.
Charlie Parker, the lecturer for the class, gave up trying to capture the attention of the room at first glance of each absent minded student that day. It was the end of the week, and for many the only class to endure that day. He had no hope of gaining their interest. Charlie was new to teaching, this being his third year, and this wasn't his studied field. Charlie was intelligent in many ways, but numbers were his specialty. At the young age of 25, he was not much older than his students; his eldest's being 22. Age set aside he was, for now, more of a friend and tutor to his students. Which didn't bother him too much, as long as the work was understood.
Audrey Lucas was an intriguing student. No one knew what to expect from her. Predictable was not the word he would describe her as. Today, for instance, normally the motor mouth of the class, she sat peacefully in the back of the room; scowling at a picture she drew whilst her thoughts wandered. He decided that the un-lively bunch needed an awakening. Though there was no work set for the day, so Charlie decided to improvise.
"Audrey." He repeated was he had her concentration. "I would like you to . . .describe Cody to me."
"Why?" What a weird thing to ask. Audrey thought to herself.
"You'll find out afterwards." Charlie had yet to think that far ahead.
"I don't know him." Audrey shrugged, glancing at Cody.
"That doesn't mean you can't try and describe him to me. Surely you've seen him around campus, and you have a class with him." Charlie hedged.
"Yes," She began slowly. "But I've never spoken to him, hung out with him, we have no common friends and to tell the truth I didn't know he existed until I had this class." Realising what she had said could come off a little insulting; Audrey was quick to point. "No offense intended." She explained to Cody, who hadn't taken her comments seriously.
Like many of the students he knew Audrey was very upfront brutally on occasion but otherwise harmless. Actually, the entire class found her amusing. They had only to attend it twice a week for six months, and had already completed the first two; during which Audrey became the somewhat ray of sunshine all through a dismally pathetic day. She was their saviour for all that was mundane.
"Okay, okay. Well from what you do know about him. How would you describe Cody?" He conceded.
Audrey huffed, audibly. Cody. She knew very little about him. She swivelled in her chair to see him properly. Cody didn't seem to care that she was so openly assessing him.
"Didn't we just finish our topic of stereotyping?" Audrey questioned curiously. She had found a way to avoid the initial subject. She didn't feel it right to have to size up Cody without properly knowing him. Audrey was a good judge of character but she wasn't that good.
"Yes, what has that to so with this?" Charlie knew Audrey was up to something; she had that familiar gleam of mischief in her bottomless chocolate orbs.
"I'd just like to know why you chose Cody and I? Obviously you're trying to get an indication across in this exercise, so does that entail two utterly different personalities or were you simply choosing at random? Because if you did indeed select us because of our differences then I would have to announce that that you are stereotyping us." Audrey smiled knowingly; she had won.
"You are right, that would be stereotyping but I chose you at random so there is no merit in your accusation." Charlie dared, causing Audrey's smile to falter minutely.
Charlie Parker was covering. Audrey had caught him out and she knew it. If only she could have him admit it.
"Then why choose us. There is no such thing as at random. Sir. There must have been some inclination in your head whilst choosing."
"There wasn't, Audrey, so let's jus-"
"There has to be, there must have been the slightest premeditation. Why choose Cody, why not, say, Meg." Audrey was rushing, trying to catch Parker in the midst of a lie or cover up; she was successful.
"Because that defeats the purpose, you and Meg are too al-" He stopped abruptly. Audrey had tricked him and was very much aware of it, judging by the satisfied smirk and raised eyebrow. Nodding his head solemnly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Alike. It wouldn't work because you and Meg are too alike. How do you know I stereotyped you, like you said you don't know Cody."
Audrey thought for a moment. "I know and I'm assuming you don't either. Therefore you would have to base it on the knowledge before you. And from what you and I both know is that Cody and I are polar opposites. He's athletic, smart, punctual, good looking, dedicated, polite where as I'm sluggish, rude, cynical, widely opinionated, not too interested in academics and anything but dependable."
"I know myself but everything I said about Cody is a guess. For all I know he could be a fetish pornography addicted woman beater from Uranus who works as a nail technician on the side." Catching herself again, Audrey smiled sheepishly at Cody. "No offense."
"You are an odd young woman." Charlie laughed.
Her brow creased. "Should I be offended?"
"Audrey you are definitely not an innocuous person, but I doubt you actually have the means to offend anyone. You're very confident yet not in a narcissistic kind of egotistical sense and by the look on your face right now I can pretty much presume my attempt to intimidate you isn't working, and I have no hopes of redemption for calling you 'odd'. "
Charlie might only be a few years older than some his students but none had stood up to him, challenged him, in such a manner. He liked the competition. Could he finally have met his match?
"Parker, you just made my list." Audrey muttered inattentively.
"And what list would that be?" He queried her, once again intrigued.
Audrey's head snapped up, she hadn't realised she said that out loud. She smiled awkwardly, a forced chuckle escaping her mouth. "Why my Christmas card list of course. What other list would I have?" She smirked.
"With a mind filled with such intricate and conspiratorially focused logic I would deduce something less . . . trivial." Charlie was now very alert that the once light banter has turned into significantly flirtatious. Though he was almost certain Audrey had paid no mind to it, for she was only through subconscious.
Audrey played innocent; she knew what he was suggesting.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." A sickly sweet upturn of her lips stole Charlie's focus.
He cleared his throat. "Well I look forward to seeing you on the news in say ten to fifteen years, depending, naturally, on when you decide to begin the trek down the hit list you so ignorantly deny." After a second thought, he continued. "I hope you like orange."
Audrey laughed, along with the class.
"I can be quite sufficient when I want to be, Parker. I wouldn't be caught. Nevertheless, everyone knows no good mass murderer lives after his or her list is complete. You start it, you end it."
"Your saying you would kill yourself, rather than go to prison?" Audrey's friends Meg exclaimed.
"Hey if I had to choose between killing everyone I needed and dying happy or roughing it in a women's prison playing bitch to a hefty, butch, broad named Helga; I'd cock that loaded pistol and take my chances in hell."
Audrey raised her arms, faking surrender. " I can do girl on girl. I can't do girl on wilder beast."
Everyone erupted in laughter.
"Has anyone ever told you how very entertaining you are?" Charlie grinned.
"I've heard that once or twice." She shrugged. "I have a vivid imagination."
Will continue if encouraged. Reviews are appreciated. Also, I'm not a very funny person. This is just my lame way of humor. And i mean no offense to any lesbians, or more masculine types of women. This is just another sick trance my made takes from time to time.