Author's Note: This is simply the same one-shot, but edited months later when my head was clearer. Haha.

[- Remembering Sunday -]

Written by Britanii, of l'heure bleue

I lower myself onto the sidewalk to get out of the breeze that has suddenly picked up, and sigh, turning my face upward toward the overcast expanse of sky above. Almost as if the universe has been waiting for that one simple movement of mine, the rain picks up and the cold, clear drops fall all around me, blurring the outline of the street with its wet curtain. I honestly don't know why I have come back here; I haven't really thought about it. I'd had the dream again, the one that mirrors the last time I saw her, a bright smile on her lips, a smile that didn't quite extinguish the sadness that echoed in her wide brown eyes.

It was that dream that had been pushing me to find her for so long now… it almost seemed like forever. I'd never had the courage to walk that block to the bus and get on, knowing where it was going. I just kept putting it off. Until today.

I shake my head, revelling in the feeling as the drops fall from my hair. Not that it makes much of a difference – the rain keeps pouring, and soon there's wetness covering even my eyelashes, making it difficult to see anything at all. I should've thought to take an umbrella – I had known what the forecast called for, but the skies were beautiful and clear, so I hadn't thought much of it. She had been the only thing on my mind.

I reach into my pocket, slowly, gingerly, almost as if what is stored there will disappear in a puff of smoke if I am too eager. I clutch at the tiny silver ring, and finger the small diamond that embellishes it. I've had this ring for nearly a year now, and with it I'd also had the dreams of a future, of a happiness beyond compare, all of which tumbled down on my head like an unstable brick wall when she'd gone.

I had come all this way, too numb to really feel anything, but if there was still a place for real emotion inside me, it would be filled now with feelings of apprehension and terror, and almost filled with a startling hope.

I feel around for a rock, a stone, anything throw-able, and my fingers close around a large pebble, its texture rough from crumbling away from a much bigger boulder. Without much enthusiasm, I toss it into the empty street, and as it flies out of my hand its rough edge leaves a small cut, and my blood is washed along the sidewalk by the rain.

How appropriate, I think solemnly.

I don't know what I expected; maybe to have her here, waiting for me, maybe even feeling as empty as I am. It isn't as much that I want her; as much as it is that I need her. That last day we spent together, way back when, was the longest day of my life. While I was living it – and while I have relived it, in my mind, over and over again – it was the happiest day I have ever had. Sunday. It was so gorgeous that day – a cloudless, bright blue sky. The weather's wonder was eclipsed only by hers. That one last day with her was like one big adventure, the Sunday that I finally knew that I was in love with her. I had wished she would change her mind; that she would stay. I had thought, just for a moment, a brief moment of hopeful hallucination, maybe, that I had seen it in her eyes: Something mysterious behind her devilish grin, her cherub beauty… I had thought that she'd fallen in love with me, too.

And yet, as she'd said goodbye, she'd admitted to not believing in love. In not believing that the time we'd spent together was special, or amazing, or anything out of the ordinary at all.

I'd stayed there, inside myself, inside my shell, for almost a year, curled inward, not listening to anything, not daring to feel at all. She had broken me, ripped herself suddenly out of the seams of my life that Sunday. And I had been dreaming about her ever since.

I sigh, and a tear mixes, undecipherable, with the rain falling all around. I have come all this way, finally; I had woken up this morning and got dressed in my best, least sloppy clothes. What brought me here was all a blur, but suddenly, here I was.

And I had lost my nerve.

As if the first drops of rain has wash away my resolve and leave me paralyzed, here I am, just feet away from my destination, plopped down on the sidewalk like the loser that I am.

Yet I know, deep down in my very core, that she must have felt it, too. She must know by now that she made a mistake in leaving, that she made a mistake in saying that she didn't love me; that she couldn't love me. I have to find out. I have to know. I can't go back to living the way I have been for the past year; I can't go back to the bleak loneliness that haunts my very soul. Not without closure.

A small amount of determination bubbles into my chest, and I lift myself up off the sidewalk, feeling heavy-hearted. With purpose, I make a beeline for the small, dingy house down the street; the one I know holds the purpose of my entire being inside.

It seems to take a lifetime to reach that house. Maybe it's the sheets of precipitation that are obscuring my vision, or maybe it's the fact that I know each meager step takes me closer to the fork in the road. That soon I will have to choose a distinct path.

Somehow, eventually, I reach the door. The once-bright red paint is cracked and peeling and the small front lawn is disastrously overgrown. I feel so on-edge that the heartbeat in my throat seems almost to drown out the gushing of the wind and rain. Hesitantly, I bring my knuckle to the door. I knock. One, two, three times.

No one answers.

I try again, more urgently, desperately; I did not come all this way for nothing. Not today.

Still, there's no reply to my agony. The overwhelming need to get inside that small, inconsequential house starts eating me. I am dying, crumbling away, I can feel it. I rest my forehead on the cold glass of the door's window, breathing in and out in measured gasps, feeling a hole in my heart burst open at the disappointment.

I notice a small, old woman leaning out of the doorway next door. She is studying me curiously, with a look of faint familiarity on her face, as if she'd expected I would come.

"Have you seen her?" I inquire, sensing she would know who I meant.

"She's not here," She says wearily as I look up at her. "She moved away ages ago; she said she needed to move on; she couldn't bear it. She hadn't been herself for about a year now." Having delivered her message, the woman disappears inside, sealing the door behind her with a resounding and satisfying click.

I feel as if I'm falling, and then I land. Hard. I realize I've fainted, and I'm surrounded by the tall, uncut grass that litters her garden. The endless rain keeps washing down on me, and I realize with a dark chuckle I might drown in her run-down front yard. And suddenly, as if the rain is washing away my burdens along with my dignity, everything is in much sharper focus: the rain is colder, wetter, the grass is greener, smoother, the breeze is windier, and much more refreshing. The background noises are much louder, drowning out all of my thoughts of misery and torment. As the rain washes down on me, I feel almost… better.

Much better than I've felt in a year, at least.

After an eternity, I pull myself up from the ground. I gather the ring and a note, yellow and creased, from my pocket, and flick them as nonchalantly as I can manage at her door.

Maybe I'll get over her, maybe I never will. But she loved me, too.

She loved me.

I stand there for a few long seconds, staring, soaking in the image of the house, the yard, the street, the sky, the whole picture into my brain.

I guess I'll go home now. There's nothing left for me here.

Author's Note: I hate to sound like your ex-stepmother's rich father's second cousin's best friend's shrink, but... HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? Maybe you could tell me, like... with a little review? I'd love to hear anything relatively positive or negative that you have to say - or even if you just want to babble on about your sister's pet mouse! Seriously, I love to read your reviews! SO WRITE THEM! thanks. :)

*Also, since this IS the edited version, if you find anything else wrong (god KNOWS I'm far from perfect) feel free to let me know. Or offer to edit any future pieces for me. :P