DECEMBER

when i slip between the flannel sheets,
spent as a sodden tea bag,
i am smiling,
for the first time in forever.

i think of my day,
how i sat in a wrinkled heap
like the dirty laundry on my floor,
wiping my red-ringed eyes.

i see outside the window,
where the sun is shining,
sending blistering heat inside
to wake me from my delusions.

only today,
today i have banished them myself,
and smiled,
because at least i know
it wasn't you.

today i saved you,
and martyred myself.