Look at Me (Say My Name) By Dusty 'BDOD' O'Hara
Warnings: this story takes place during homosexual sex between two men. Due to an instability, one man kills the other in the throws of "passion." Harrison Drea is insane.
this story hasn't been properly edited for grammar. It doesn't really need to be, Drea won't allow it.
Look at me, darling, say my name. Scream it, let me hear it. Allow me to feel you inside and out. Allow me to caress your hair, and feel your skin slide against mine. Look only at me, and say only my name, you belong to me now, as your voice cracks and your eyes slam shut. I tell you to open them, and you listen so well. Your eyes sparkle back at me, hidden slightly by your eyelashes, but that doesn't matter anymore. You are mine now, and I am in control.
You love me don't you? Admit it and save me the trouble of asking every time. I can feel your climax coming soon. It's so hot inside you. So tight, and so fine. Your sweat tastes like salt, and I know from experience your seed tastes like sugar. A nice taste, sweet for such a person as yourself, but your sweetness only shows to the people you like. You never show your sweetness to me, only your sorrow and your hatred, your disgust and your lust.
The lust I can feel it radiates off of you. I grab onto your manhood. I'm not done yet so you are not either. I speed up, I slam into you, you gasp and you squirm. Again, this time you scream. Sometimes you scream my name, my first name, you never use my first name, always a nickname or "bastard". But you say my name. "Harry!" you'll scream. This is rare though. I think you don't know that you do it. I think you're so gone, you don't care. I think I'm your master, when we are intertwined like this.
I spin us around and sit up, propped against the headboard now. I hop you on my lap, up and down, up and down, I hold your waist to help you, but your lust and gravity are doing just fine, you just need guidance. With my skin so close to yours, inside yours, we are connected by an intimacy so much greater than us. But the intimacy hurts. Can you feel it? The pain, the pressure? The muscles inside you contract and I grunt. I can not allow my self to moan like you can, you can let go, but I never can.
Say my name and save me from my self. My self inflicted hatred, my self inflicted desertion. Will you desert me, when all of this is through? This farce, as you once called it. You never said I was yours, and I always claim you as mine. You look at me with your magical eyes, and I feel it, I can feel you thinking about me. But I know your thoughts never stay with me, they never rest with only me. What did I say to you? Not so long ago?
Look at me.
Say my name
Hear my voice -- I blame my fame.
You are mine, and only mine. I can't understand how you don't get that. You need to stop thinking of him. The man who raped you. You need to quit it. You need to only think of me. Harrison Drea, however much my name may suck, you belong to me. When I marry you, you will be a Drea.
If I could I would make you pregnant, fuck you until your insides bled, and my white bodily creation seeps from your pores. I would create myself something else to cum out of, so I could get it in your mouth. Make you taste it, make you swallow it whole, make you believe I am delicious. You scream as I flip us over, again and again, I can not find the perfect way to grind into you. I'm sitting up again, panting and telling you to look at us. Intertwined yet again, I'm telling you once, twice, trice more, I think you're bored by my obsession, but I pound your ass, and you make your noises and you don't care anyone
Once before I went to strangle you and it never worked, always I would stop, and you would tell me you chose me, but I can see it in your eyes, it's a lie. A fucking good one too, because I only know the truth once I'm serving you tea to sooth your throat, your abused throat, the throat you scream my name with, and make your sounds with.
My thoughts are turning for the worse, and as I scream at you to open your eyes, once more, you obey, but I see it in your eyes, you're scared. So fucking scared, I can smell it on you, and I thrust harder and you scream louder, with a little more pain than I originally intended, but I demand it now. Pain is good for you, darling, I swear it is.
Listen do you hear it? The mummers on the streets? They can't hear us, but you know I love to listen, and I hear them once more. Do you? Can you? With your loud little vocalizations and your murmurs. Your little fucking purrs that drive me up a wall. They'll make the shit hit the fan one day, I swear to god they will. And if you blame it on me, or look at me one more time with your pretty little eyes, I'm gonna fucking scream. Good you closed your eyes, now open them baby, open them. I think I'm about to betray you.
Remember what I said? I blamed my fame? My stupid little life with the fucking huge crap on my head. I am Atlas, and by god I'm gonna drop this here earth, if only to fuck you wild, and make you scream and bleed and beg and force me to forgive your shining little eyes. You have a nice ass; that must make up for something.
Your skin is so slick, I wanna dry you up and cause more friction, cause I can feel me slipping on your body, in your body, god damn it all boy, you make me hot for your body. I think I love you, I know I hate you, and I know all you need from me is my cock up your ass, and by fucking god boy, you better fucking believe I'll let you play me, if you agree to fuck me. Or let me fuck you, the way it goes, cause see here boy, I am never gonna bottom for you, and you better know it, cause boy, you're my toy, my favourite, and I'm not giving you up, unless I break you myself. And boy, you're already broken in.
I told you, you were my toy. One of those shiny new ones, you pull the string or push the button and they make noises. You make noises too, your ass is your button and your cock is your string, and if I tug or push hard enough I can even get you to open your eyes and say my name. Say my name, fucking little bitch, say my name.
I need to hear you say it, and you fucking know I do.
Ahhh. There it is. You're rewarded generously; I start to suckle your neck. You're still bouncing on my lap and that doesn't work anymore so I flip us over, and start to give you a hickey. I still won't let you come. I need you to suffer. Last time you didn't say my name, and you held your eyes closed a lot. But you're learning now, and learning well, and boy you have got some neck on you, wish I could bite it. Tear at it and make it bleed, make you bleed, and scream in pain for ME to make it stop. And boy, I would too, if only you'd open your eyes, and say my fucking name
Ah, ah, ah, not my last name. You say that far too much. Say my first name, and I say the magic word.
Alright, so I lied. No magic words, there are no magic words. This is my bed, even though it's only a rental, you are in my bed, and in my bed we fuck the mammal way. We fuck like animals. We are animals, and you scream so pretty when I bite your neck. My job complete, I flip us over again; you're on my lap, bouncing on me. And your head is lolled back and your mouth is open and I can't see your eyes. There we go. What pretty eyes you have, lover.
Can you hear the malice in my voice, lover? How much I fucking hate loving you, how I love hating you and how I love to fuck you like I hate you. Its hate sex and you think we're making love. How naive. Making love is such a straight thing to do. Just because you think that, I think I'll get the shackles. Never mind, I'm much too lazy and my dick is much to cosy, penetrating you while you arch your back, open your eyes and scream my name.
I suddenly hate you more than words can tell. I think because someone else has touched you before. How I hate that man. The man who took you, without my permission. I would say I would share, but that's a fucking lie. I never share. I never had to Before I never had anything to share, and now that I have, it's all mine. Fuck the innocent bystanders, it my fucking parade and I'm gonna rule it with all that I am.
I can not stand to look at you, yet I must. You must open your eyes you must. Riddle me this, riddle me that, tell me this, you silly old bat, do you even know why I want you to open your eyes? Because you are mine, and I will have you know it. You will never see another man above you or below you other than me. I will make sure of it.
I throw you off my lap, and you gasp surprised. Your ass probably hurts from how much I've abused it these last few days, weeks, months, years. However long it's been, it's not been long enough to claim you properly. To get his seed out of you. To make you mine, and release you of him. He means nothing to you, because I say it hence.
That is your favourite word isn't it? Hence? You taught me all about it. How some writer man used it in all three forms in one sentence sometimes to be funny, I don't understand how that could be funny, but your writer man must have known his stuff. I've heard of him before. Iambic Pentameter right? My hands close around your throat. That writer man? You loved his creations, though they may be dead. I squeeze. You love them despite your past, present and fucking future.
You used to pay more attention to your writer man than you did me, but now I am all you know, all you can know. I will make sure of it. I squeeze harder, I erupt inside you. I will be your morning and evening star, because God Damn It All, you belong to me, now look at me and say my fucking name!
Look at me god damn it! OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!