those that you love the most
are the ones that will hurt you the most
.

i'm spiralling down again,
faster than ever this time with
the fresh knowledge of their
absolute betrayal. cold sweat
grips my trembling body--i push
down the bile rising in my throat
because if they wouldn't (couldn't)
love me when i was skinny, they'll
only love me if i'm fat
--and i
claw at my hair. the rush of the pain
is so familiar. i'll hurt them. i'll get
back at them. i'll hurt them, i'll
fucking hurt them, even if my only
means is by hurting myself.

so heres to the three bitches that built me up just to break my heart:
FUCK ALL THREE OF YOU.