I never knew death could be so pleasant.

Anyone else would have run away that cold afternoon, but not me. I guess you could call me stupid, if you'd like, but I loved the cold. Anyway, my name is Elizabeth Holden. I guess I should start out how my whole day went before I became "dead". Okay here it goes.

Earlier Thursday afternoon

She holds it over her wrist

She smiles as I threaten her

She looks at me, with hurt and sorrow

It all happened so fast

I lunged forward

She screamed of joy

I looked at her wounds

And remembered my promise

I picked up the razor

And ran it along my wrist

I stopped over where x marks the spot

Looked up, and smiled

I felt no pain,

Just the life squeezed outta me

Drop by drop

Ounce by ounce

Life began to slowly prickle outta me

She approached me

Looking white as a ghost

And the last words I heard were

"Pain is Pleasure"

I finish reciting, and look into the eyes of my classmates. After a moment of silence, people started clapping. I smiled and hurried to my seat, embarrassed.

"Okay class. Settle down." Ms. Hartworth yelled for everyone's attention.

"That was great!" an unknown voice yelled. Followed by a few whistles.

"Yes, I know" Ms. Hartworth beamed. "That was a lovely poem Eliza. Great job"

"Thank you" I muttered. I know what you're thinking right now. "Why did her teacher call her Eliza?", right? Well it all started when I was little. It a long story, but I'll make an exception for you. You see when I was little, my dad called me by my whole name. While others thought it was a mouthful.

So when he died, I refused to let anyone call me by my first name. I asked my mom if I could legally change it, but she said I'll always be able to remember my dad from it. That's the thing. I don't want to remember my dad. That vile creature.


"Elizabeth, baby, come on!" My dad whispered in my ear. He was once again drunk. Ever since he got injured, he drank. Came home late hours at night. Since my mom had to take over his job, she had many business trips. And each time I was left with him.

"Leave me alone dad" I yelled. Why couldn't he see I wasn't in the mood. Jonathan had just told me he was moving and now this. Why can't the bastard just leave me alone.

"Babe, don't be like that. You know you want me" he said husky. Sliding his hands up shirt. 'How dare he! That son of a bitch I thought'.

"Dad if you don't get your filthy hands off of me" I screeched. I tried to move but he had a firm grip on my waist. He started kissing me up and down my neck. "Get off me!" I kept yelling and screaming. Knowing nobody would know.

'My mom just had to move out here', I thought bitterly. I tried kicking him off, while he tried unbuttoning my bra. I know some of you pervs may be thinking "why don't you just go with the flow?" Well listen you sick bastards, he's my dad. He's obviously drunk and needy. And I, still a virgin defiantly don't want him. So I do the best thing possible.

I kicked him where the sun don't shine, hard. He fell off the bed, giving me time to run out the door. I thought he was going to leave me alone. But all I heard was him yelling.

"Elizabeth! I know you hear me. Baby, come back and we can talk. All I want is one night. Alone, with the woman I love. You, Elizabeth. I love you" he yelled. For a minute I almost believed him. I know; how shallow of me? I don't know what it was, but I walked back to him slowly. "Dad" I whisper, hoping my voice didn't crack. "Baby?" he smiled standing up. He was about to approach me when I held up my hands.

"Dad, I don't love you. As a dad I do. But not as a lover. I'm sorry." I whisper scared to look at his face. I didn't hear him talking for a while so when I looked up I gasped. He had striped down coming towards me, with a sick smile.

"You don't have to love me baby. Just give me what I want" he whispered thru tight lips. I looked down and almost screamed. He was BIG. I know that sounds sick coming form me, but hey it was the 1st one I've ever seen. He caught me looking and laughed. "Your mom's missed out on this. But don't worry, you won't have too" and with that he lunged at me.

I didn't have time to run so he tackled me easily. He started grabbing at my clothes trying to rip them off. I laid there shocked. I couldn't believe my dad of all people was doing this. Did I try to get him off? No, it was no use. I tried to at first but it seemed like my mind wasn't working. I couldn't move, speak, or even blink. I just laid there letting him molest me.

I didn't even notice that he started pounding into me.

Stroke 1, Stroke two…

"Elizabeth" he whispered into my ear. "Baby, are you okay? Do you want me to go faster?" he kept asking me questions. I could hardly hear him. All I could think of was Jonathan. His soft curly brown hair, green eyes, and smoldering smile. Why did he have to leave! Why! I needed him now. I needed him and he's probably already left already. I hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt him being threw off of me. My eyes popped open, and there was Jonathan.

"Eliza" he whispered, leaning down to pick me up. I guess I finally came to my senses because I stopped crying and hugged him. "What are you doing here" I croaked.

"Well I came to say good bye, only to find you being raped by that bastard." he grimaced at the last words. I looked over to see my dad crumpled in the corner, bleeding.

"Please don't leave" I cried and kept hugging him

"Don't worry. I'm not leaving yet" he whispered into my hair.

"Thank you" I cried. "Don't sweat it. I bet you would've done that if my mom tried to rape me" he smirked. Ahhh. I was going to miss that smirk

"Jonathan can you put me down?" I asked. Knowing that I didn't want to.

"Sure. Was I hurting you though?" he asked concerned. "Of course not, but I'm naked" I whispered waiting for him to become the pig I thought. Like all boys. Yes I said it, yall are ruled by your hormones. Suck it up, and stop being a woman.

But he didn't.

Instead he helped me into clothes, and took me to a motel. He said someone was going to take care of my father for him. I really didn't care what that meant at the moment. So we acted like old times and laughed and joked until one night.

"You know your mom's coming home soon?" he whispered rubbing my back.

"How do you know?" I wondered aloud. She rarely stayed anyway.

"I called her." he stated simply. "YOU WHAT?" I yelled outraged.

I don't have nothing against my mom, but still, I'd never think she'd believe whatever Jonathan told her. As you probably figured out, she didn't like him. He thought he was a bad influence, and such.

"Yeah, I told her what happened. She should be here tonight." he said.

"Did she believe you?" I wondered.

"Yeah. Especially when I told her he was drunk." he said through thin lips.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, looking into his eyes.

"You know I can't stay right? I still have to go. When your mom comes, I have to leave. I can't delay it any longer." he whispered, looking away from me.

I thought quietly for a while. Finally I came up with an answer. "You'll still come back to visit, right?" I said hoping he'd say yes.

"I'll try" he whispered, and then we heard a horn beep. "That's your mom, she's going to take you home. Don't worry about your father, he'll be properly taken care of." he smiled. "Don't worry, I'll come back" he kissed my head.

'The horn beeped again, Impatient heffa.' I thought. I sighed and jumped out of his lap, gathering my bag. "Jonathan, I just want you to know that I love you" I said and kissed his hand softly before turning towards the door.

Before I could leave he pulled me back, and kissed me fiercely. "I love you too" he murmured into my ear.

"I guess this is goodbye" he whispered as I walked out the door. I turned around and smiled. "No, it's a see you later." I said and closed the door.

End Flashback*

So I hope you see why I hate him now. Also, I miss Jonathan terribly. But that happened 3 years ago. Since then Jonathan hasn't called or even written to me. I guess that was goodbye then.

I hadn't even realized the bell rang, until Lonnie came to my desk.

"Need a ride home?" he smirked. Ugh! Gag me with a spoon!!

"No. I don't take rides from man whores." I smirked.

"Touché" he said and walked off. I reluctantly got up and packed my books. One day down and only four more to go until graduation. Can't wait for college.

I sighed and trudged outta class. Finally I yelled, as I walked to my car. Free at last, Free at last. Thank god oh'mighty I'm free at last. I recited MLK's speech in my head as I hopped into my Porsche.

Who said I can't wear my converse with my dress

Well baby, that's just me

Who said I can't be single and have to go out and


Baby, that's not me….No No

I quickly grabbed my phone and looked at the screen. 'Leah' I knew it I thought.

"Hello" I said nonchalantly.

''WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU" Leah shouted. I had to pull the phone away from my ear as I drove out the parking lot.

Don't try to patronize me about talking on the phone while driving, because you know you do it to.

"I'm on my way" I quickly say before she starts yelling again. I continue my way on the freeway.

"You better hurry up" she threatened. And so I started driving faster. 75 mpr. "I'll there in 10" I sat before disconnecting us. And that's when it happened.

I hadn't been paying attention to the road, so I didn't see when the tractor trailer collided with me.


I heard my air bags pop out. I hadn't had enough time to scream before another car collided into me. This time it sent my car flipping over.

"Ahhh!" I yell as I hit my head against the wheel. 'I can't believe this is happening' I thought.

My car kept rolling until it hit something. By then the windows were cracked, leaving glass wounds on my body. I tried to move but then I noticed my leg. It was jammed under the steering wheel. I gasped as a shot of pain went though my body. I laid there hoping it was over.

You don't always get what you wish for.

Another car crashed into mine, pushing me over the highway road. I could hear people's cars trying to stop. Again for more cars hit me sending me over the edge.

'Wow. I'm flying' I thought. Better enjoy this while I can. It felt like I had been flying for a while now, when I looked down my eyes bulged. I was about to hit the ocean. Since I was stuck I knew I wasn't going to be able to jump out.

'Can I even swim' I wondered. 'Nope' I answered as I plunged into the water.

'So this is what death feels like' I thought as the care goes deeper and deeper into the water. I started to feel lightheaded so I tried to breathe. What a dumb thing to do. I started to choke on the water.

'Did I want to die' I thought. 'Doesn't matter, to me. It's bound to happen sooner or later' I kept repeating, as the car hit something sharp.

"WTH!" I yelled. Before I could curse anymore, something shot out the water. I looked up and saw a shark.

'AHHHHH!' my mind mentally screamed. I thrashed and thrashed, trying to unbuckle my seat belt. It wouldn't work though.

'I guess this is really the end' I thought. 'The shark's gonna either eat me or rip me to shreds' sighing.

I felt a jolt of pain surge thru me as the shark attacked the car. I didn't even try to move again. Just flow with the pain. Maybe you'll get lucky and die. Won't have t live thru the pain, I kept repeating. I noticed that I had been holding my breathe for a while and I was turning blue. I tried to let it out, but couldn't. 'Oh god. I'm going to die of suffocation' I thought yelling to myself.

'Wait, death may not be too bad' I thought. 'I'm all alone anyway. Jonathan left, I have no friends. Mines as well die' grimacing.

'Jonathan hasn't called in three years. THREE YEARS. Does he even remember me' I kept thinking. 'Maybe not' my mind told me.

I could tell that my body was responding to the no air situation. I decided to let it take over. I won't try to move nothing' I felt my brain starting to shut down.

'Your doing the same thing you did with your father' my mind bitterly to me. As if I didn't feel alright enough. 'You're the same weak person you were when Jonathan left.'

And with that darkness took over.

Hey guys. Here's the story I've been telling you about. I really tried to make it sound interesting. I know it sucks and it's boring but just read. I hope you like it. Oh, I'll only continue to add if u like it..so if you do then send me a review. Haha. That rhymes. Okay, read and review. Thanks :)

x0x0x0x0 Nerdillicous