where is my courage?
and why does it only come in bullets?
within seconds, here and then gone
while the pressure builds for another shot

i want my conscience to be closer to my lips
so when i get the idea i can voice it
but it's stuffed so far back into my brain...
that it only keeps me from doing the exciting

i wish i lived outside my mind for a day
my thoughts stationed in my chest
so my heart can make the hard decisions
isn't that how were supposed to be?

thinkthinkthinkthinkthink
too much. much too much.

i want to be spontaneous
and not just on paper

do it do it do it do it!
but i can't.

the only moves i can make are in the wrong direction
changing the conversation and making a distraction

the silence is starting to blend in with tension
but the tension fades into sweet goodbyes
another bullet of courage, let me close my eyes...

over.
caput.

until we meet again
rested and refreshed
my mind is stopping me
but my thoughts are in my chest.