"Looking Up"

"Our last day of summer. Tell me, Ana, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to meet up with Ian later-"

"No, I mean, what are you going to do after all of it is over. We're all in our final year of college. Doesn't that scare you some?"

"Of course it does. But honestly Jason, I've spent practically my whole life being scared. Scared of losing Ian, my father, scared to face things alone. Ian's been the biggest part of me for a very long time. But truth is; the biggest part of me should be me. And for the past three years it has been. I've spent my whole life devoted to keeping my father out of death's hands only to have him go right in the second I wasn't looking. You can't stop things or take anything back. Everything has a reason, a purpose, a place. It was just his time as it was my mother's. It still doesn't really feel like it but it was because otherwise he'd be here with me right now."

"True. I lost my mom too but it was to a drug overdose when I was sixteen after that I gave my grandma such a hard time when she took me in, my father already long gone before I was even born, she was all I really had. So I cut school, got into a few drugs myself, drank excessively, and barely came home. You know typical stupid rebellious stuff. Looking back on it now I realize I just made everything harder. She lost her daughter and instead of trying to be there, instead of trying to help out and make things easier for her and myself, I just went into self destruction. And the drugs is the real kicker. I did the very thing that killed my mom. I mean, yeah, we're our parent's kids but we're not their choices, you know? We can make our own choices, our own life. We can grow up and learn from their mistakes. I learned that lesson a little too far in but I learned it never the less. I'm still not as together as I should be but I've gotten better and I've gained back a lot of myself that I lost. There's still a lot more missing. But I just have to find him."

He paused and smiled for a moment. And because of that smile, that was filled with as much self loathing as it was with irony, I could see Ian. In that moment I could see Ian flash before my eyes.

"Who knows, maybe he's even a writer."

I smiled back. "Yeah, maybe he is."

Nothing gets easier just because you want it to. It all takes time. Time to tell yourself that the grave that you've dug six feet under is your own doing and at some point you gotta make a choice between lying in it or digging yourself out, time to accept things for the way they are, that the world has to change and with it so do you, and time to accept the fact that no matter how much you pray you're parent's are never coming back once they're truly gone, passed onto another life (if you believe in that sort of thing). It's tough sometimes but it gets easier with time.

I hadn't seen Kyle since my father's funeral and I had a suspicion that Ian was behind that but never the he less he was gone. And for that I was happy.

Jason and I had gotten closer but the feelings were just mutual friendship and with time, Ian accepted that.

Jackie finally found someone and with that a healthy steady relationship. She was happy and I was happy for her.

Summer was coming to a close but not a single part of my life felt like an ending. Things were finally looking up.

"I want you to move in with me."

I stiffened in utter shock. It was the last thing I expected to hear him say and because I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts I had missed the slip of his arm as it wove itself around my waist, the light brush of his fingers as he moved the dark vale of hair away from my neck, his lips at my ear.

"You're serious?" I asked, disbelief coloring my voice.

"Yes. After we both finish college will you come back to New Jersey and live with me? Jimmy's going to be leaving too. He and Allison are planning on moving in together after their last year in college is over with too."

I twisted in his arms to face him, my eyes meeting his without hesitation. "I'd like that very much."

Happiness swam in his nearly black eyes and the second it surfaced, his lips were on mine, kissing me with affection. Even after months of this it was still hard to believe sometimes that this was real, that he was mine, and that he loved me.

"Thank you." He breathed against my lips. "But what about your parent's house?" He pulled back some, worry etching its way onto his features. "You don't have to move in with me if you don't want-"

I pressed my lips to his once more. "I want to."

"But what will you do?"

"I'm going to sell it."

This time he fully pulled back and looked down at me with an unreadable expression.

"Ana-"

"My father was all I really had here. If he was still here I would still move out and live with you if you asked me to and if it was what I truly wanted and he would be happy with that. He wouldn't want me to live here forever with him or all alone. He would want me to be happy. I think the only reason he even stayed in this house was because of mom. It reminded him of her and yet that tortured him. But there are great memories I have of this house, of times I spent with them and I won't ever forget that but now it's time to move on. I've always had a hard time with letting things go but I figure now is a good time to start."

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes."

His mouth moved with mine again for several heartbeats before his forehead came to rest on mine and his eyes opened lazily to look down at me. "I just never want you to wake up one day and resent me for this or hate yourself for the decision you plan to make."

"I won't."

"You don't know that."

My hands traced the planes of his face. "Yes, I do." Whatever response he planned to say was swallowed up in a series of kisses and hands running over skin. And later, when there wasn't anything else left to touch, he didn't speak of any more doubts or reasons for me to change my mind. We didn't speak much that night at all.

It was a wonderful way to spend our last day of summer; it wasn't demanding or greedy. There was no selfishness, no rush. Tangled together, skin on skin, it was the up most kind of euphoria.

Moonlight spilled through my windows and I could see fireflies dancing outside. Yes, it was wonderful way to spend our last day of summer.

His face turned toward me and his hands found my naked waist and brought me closer. I knew if I looked into his eyes then, I'd see an undeniable amount of love but no matter how many times I saw it, I never got tired of seeing it.

His fingers found mine and quietly he spoke. "I've never deserved you. You gave me and have given me an endless amount of patience, love, affection. And I threw it back at you. I know that's the past but for the last time I want to bring it back up into our present. I don't think I've ever told you how good you make me feel, how important. When I'm with you…I can be myself. I feel the most comfortable, the most loved when I'm with you. No one has ever looked at me the way you do. No one has ever given me such hope and happiness. I want you to know that. I want you to always know that. You truly mean everything to me."

I shifted so that I was looking down at him and him up at me and there it was even in the dim light. That love. It shone bright and clear right in his eyes.

"After all of that the words 'I love you' don't seem to be enough right now."

He laughed and his hands moved to my hips. "Then show me."

I grinned. "Actions do tend to speak louder than words." Lips and hands began to move and speak where words couldn't.

"Yes," he whispered, "they do."

And we shed what was left of our summer skin.

And that's finally the end of the road, kids. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Please leave a review, those always help.

In other news: I've actually started a new story it's called: A Temporary Madness and will be up tomorrow most likely. There will not be a sequel to Summer Skin. Why? Because anything else would just be dragging it out. But one of a Temporary Madness' main characters is Jason from Summer Skin. So you'll see a bit of Ana/Ian action in that one. But that story will not be focusing on them/bringing them in a lot. There's a much bigger picture. Thanks to all and any that read Blue Skies and Summer Skin, you're reviews helped bring this story along.

~Beansz~