So school just started. My mother once again expecting me to balance all honors classes and musical theater AND a play because, yes people, I AM just THAT great. But enough of my bitching. On with the story.

The Aphabet Game

A, B, C...

A is for apple tree…

"Mmm, suga, lemme see them apples."

"Worst line ever doofus, here, let's just get on with it."

"I love it when you talk dirty like that."

"Ouch, I think I have a twig in my ass, fuck!"

B is for backyard…

"Fuck fuck fuck, COLD!"

"You dumbass, what the hell! Now I'm soaked!"

"Excuse me if I didn't know we had installed new ice sprinklers!"

C is for classroom…

"You've been a very bad student."

"Mm-did I fail sex-ed?"

"Oh yes indeed, F- for ever quarter. Here maybe I should teach you with a more hands on approach."

"Oh Jesus yes! With gusto please, teach!"

D is for darkroom…

"Hmm…what ever will those poor photography students do when they see this."


"Very embarrassing for you, you probably ruined all those pretty photos."

"It was a moment of passion! I didn't know what I was doing!"

"Yeah, sure man, whatevs."

E is for elevator…


"Okay, hurry the fuck up! We don't have a lot of time before we reach the top!"

"I'm going as fast as I can here woman!"

"Well go faster!"

"Fine, fine, here."

"Holy shit is that a camera?"

"Oh fuck."

F is for front porch…

"What will the neighbors say?"

"Something vaguely catholic by the looks of them."

"Is this a bad time to wear my Lil' Devil panties?"

"Most likely, yes."

G is for Gary's bed…


"Oh Jesus! Gary, I'm sorry, we just!"

"No, don't even talk to me man! Just…just get you're shit done, I'll be in the bathroom throwing up."

Door slams.

"…Well that went well."

"At least we can cross it off the list now, right?"

"Hmm, yeah, I guess."

H is for hallway…

"The janitor is going to be cleanin' some sticky floors tonight."

"Oh God, I think I just rolled in gum."

I is for In a closet…

"Oh VERY clever."

"Sorry "C" was already taken with the entire classroom idea."

"Oh yeah *snorts* that was fun, who's desk did we do it on again."

"The teachers."

"She was wondering why all her papers were so damp the next morning."

"*giggle, giggle, snort* Stop!"

J is for Jack in the Box…

"These bathrooms are disgusting!"

"Not as disgusting as they're going to be babe."

"Don't you EVER call me babe. EVER."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"

K is for kitchen…

"Don't go falling on any knives now, that would be terrible."

"Not as terrible as what I would do to you if I did, trust me on that."

Lis for Library…

"We should totally do it on top of the Health books!"

"Dude, no, those are so damn hard and heavy."

"Exactly, it matches perfectly!"

"No! We're doing it on top of Calvin and Hobbes and that's final!"

"…hey, you ever think there's something wrong with us."

"Yeah, but then I think, who gives a fuck?"

M is for Mcdonalds…

"Ball pit?"


N is for nude beach…

"I feel so uncomfortable."

"Why, sand in unmentionable places?"

"No. The nudist are staring."

"Oh god, who gives a crap, they're nudists, they have no right to judge."

O is for office…

"My dad is going to kill us."

"Shut up and show me you're stapler Mr. Accountant."

"It seems as if a few of your calculations are a bit off, mind if I help you with them?"

"You are such a dork, you know that right?"

P is for parents bed…

"No! No way! Why can't we do it on your parents bed?"

"C'mon! You owe me."


"Umm? Hello? My dad's office? He asked me about what happened to the stapler for a week!"


Q is for quad…

"Please tell me you made sure there were no sprinklers this time."

"Well, umm…"



R is for rainy day…

"I expected this to be as bad as the sprinklers."

"Is it?"

"No, not really."

"It's not technically a place though…"

"Oh fuck you, I was sooo not doing it in Rachel's house."

"Well what about Gary?"

"Gary was a douche and he deserved it and you know it!"

"Yeah, fine, whatevers."

S is for sana…

"This is so fucking hot!"

"If you start feeling all heat stroky just tell me."

"I'll be too busy fainting for that."

T is for Tony's Pizza…

"Please, just day it, pleeeeaaaaaase."

"*sigh* Fine…One extra large mushroom…please."

"Può fare bella signora."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Can do, pretty lady."

"Oh God, stop talking like Mario and get on with it already."

U is for underground…

"No way, nuh uh."

"Oh come one, we both agreed on this didn't we."

"I could do it in my parents bed and the fucking bathroom but this is the SUBWAY, I can smell the dirt."

"Here, no worries, I brought a sterilized blanket along just for the occasion."



"You are the greatest dude, I love you!"


V is for Vic's House of Wax…

"I can't do it."

"Oh god, why not?"

"They're all just…staring at me."

"What, you were the one who told me to ignore the nudists! And they were alive!"

"Sorry! It's just something about glass eyes…they make me…uncomfortable."

"*sigh* Look at me."


"You heard me, just look at me."


"Stop staring at Elvis and look at me."


W is for waterslide…

"Wet and Wild or River Rapids?"

"Wet and Wild, most definitely."

"I was hoping you were gonna say that."

"I know."

X is for Xena: Warrior Princess Convention…

"That costume looks so sexy on you."

"Shut up."


"I will stab you with my tinfoil sword."

Y is for Yacht...

"If the country club finds out this is what I used my employees pass for I am soooo dead."

"You're already so dead for the "special ingredient" in the lobster bisque aren't you?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that."

Z is for Zoo…

"Well, I guess that's it."

"The penguins look offended."

"*snort* Yeah, they do."


"Well…I better get going."



"W-would you l-like to do stuff like this again sometime."

"…you mean to meet up in random frivolous places to have fabulous, voracious, animal se-"

"-WE could go to dinner or a movie or something first…o-or not…o-or we could just hang out! …I-I mean, if t-that's okay with you?



"Yeah, sure, that would be nice."


"Yeah, okay."


An attempt at some sort of inuendo,fluffy, sexy comedy. Not sure what to make of it. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the aphabet game is where you have sex with someone in a different place, starting with a different letter from A-Z.

Note: Reposted because I found out a forgot Y.