9th Grade: 2005-06

"Dear Lord, please help the child in the corner who is having an identity crisis and disrupting our class." (5th hour New Testament Survey, Mr. Lewis on Jay randomly MEOWING during a prayer.)

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"God is a god of love and fluffy bunnies." (Dr. Aucker.... I have no idea!)

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"You see, children, we teachers look forward to Spring Break even more than you do." (6th hour Art, Mr. Stange on stressed teachers.)

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Mr. Lewis: "Britney, what can you tell us about (the ancient city of) Corinth?"
Britney:
"It's yummy!" (Class gives her weird look.) "Oh, I thought you said 'corn'!" (5th hour New Testament)

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"Look, Taylor, the shadow has a deformed head! .... Uh, I meant that Mr. Snyder DREW it with a deformed head, not that YOUR head is deformed." (1st hour Physics Concepts, Preston on Mr. S. tracing my shadow for an assignment.)

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"An object can only be a color that is STUPID." (1st hour Physics, Berkley's angry answer to a question on a worksheet.)

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"Eww, who farted? GOD, that SMELLS! It's like an atomic stink bomb!" (1st hour Physics, Preston on a strange smell coming from the chemical lab.)

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Jessie (whining): "Mr. T., I need help."
Mr. Tiemier: "No, you don't.... Whoa. Yes, you do!" (6th hour Art, on Jessie's bad drawing ability.)

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"Jesus loves the little children....even Jessie and Jared...." (Mr. T. singing during art class.)

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Mr. Lewis: "The rival groups' names (in Palestine) are Hamas and Fatah."
Paige:
"Hamas? I thought that was an Arabic food."
Mr. Lewis and me: "Um, no...that's HUMMUS." (5th hour New Testament, discussing current events.)

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Jared: "Mr. Schrier yelled at me!"
Mr. Snyder: "Gee, I wonder why!" (1st hour Physics, on Jared's big mouth.)

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"Guys are SO immature.... but you know all about that, don't you, Jared?" (Mr. Snyder, on high school immaturity.)

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"Jared has a disorder called 'I-Can't-Wait-Five-Minutes-To-Know-My-Grades.'" (Mr. Snyder, on impatience.)

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"What can I say? We're the Concepts kids." (Jared, on why we're so hyper and easily distracted.)

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"It's been a loooong day.... and it's only first hour." (Mr. Snyder.)

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Alex: "Why is it so quiet in here?"
Mr. Lewis: "Because we're concentrating and having class." (5th hour New Testament)

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Jordan: "Mr. Snyder, you should be nice to me and let me sit next to Berkley. It's the season of giving."
Mr. Snyder: "No, it's not; that's Christmas. This is the middle of March." (1st hour Physics)

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Jordan: "Is a mountain lion the same thing as a coyote?"
Mr. Snyder: "......No." (1st hour Physics, during a RANDOM discussion on wildlife.)

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"Yeah, Nero was kinda weird. He lit Rome on fire, and then put on a costume and danced around reciting poetry. And that, boys and girls, is how the first mental institution was formed." (6th hour Ancient History, Mr. Johnston on some of ancient Rome's WEIRD emperors.)

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"If I have to stand up here and talk all day, it's only fair that Ishould get to play with fire and chemicals." (Mr. Snyder, on how dull Physics can be.)

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Jared: "Can I light the Bunsen burner for you?"
Mr. Snyder: "Yeah, right. I know better than to let you anywhere near anything involving fire." (Physics, on how accident-prone and goofy Jared can be.)

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Berkley: "Jeez, that's a really big fly! How'd it get so big?"
Mr. Jansen: "Steroids?" (4th hour Geometry Concepts, on large bugs.)

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Mr. Lewis: "You guys are chattier than a bunch of magpies!"
Britney: "What's a magpie?"
Mr. Lewis: "An ugly, noisy bird."
Britney: "Are you comparing your students to ugly birds?"
Kristin: "No, he's saying that we need to SHUT UP!" (5th hour New Testament.)

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Preston: "We love everybody in Concepts!"
Mr. Snyder: "Yeah, right. No, you don't. At the end of the school year, I know you better than that!" (1st hour Physics, on rivalry.)

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TBC