Analyze Me

She was the expert and he was another subject but somehow they had just switched roles.

Chapter 3: Waiting

Right now, my state of mood has just been changed from drastically sarcastic to downright moody. All this happened in a span of maybe ten minutes give or take and I suppose I shouldn't point any fingers, but I will.

His name being Elliot Dering, there it's said and written in mud, the boy with the emotional baggage has caused me utmost distress. Yet, the funny thing is that he probably doesn't even know it. My mind though keeps on showing me repeats of our last scene adding to my guilty conscious and perhaps there could have been another way, perhaps I could have been more understanding and nurturing like my the others in my line of work.

However, that isn't me and I refuse to conform myself into a mindless pod. Next thing you know I'm drowning down liquor, cursing at people and standing at the edge of a bridge because I've had enough. I look up and witness clear blue skies begin opening up behind grey colored clouds from this morning's rain. A sort of cleansing ritual takes place as yesterday's leftovers wash away for today's ups and downs.

Lying down on the moist bench at school I feel liquid begging to leave my reddened nose. But I'm stubborn and since I don't have any tissues and it's in bad health for me to use my sleeves or the back of my hand, I sniff the pending mucus back inside. I can't remember how long I have been out here, all I know is that going into class wouldn't help me forget or put the problem on hold. I would think of it more and then I'll possibly get emotional to which could bring about a crowd of curious eyes to my attention.

And nobody wants that.

I lazily look at my plastic Disney invested wristwatch and grimace. I thought at least an hour had gone by but to my it's only 9:45…what a shame. Since I am at school and I paid money to ensure I get educated it would be best that I get to class. Despite my earlier argument about it being pointless, wasting money is a whole different matter.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself. I am going to do this and I will walk into class as if nothing is wrong and earn myself a degree. "One…two…three!" I lift my arms expecting someone to pull me up, but there is no one. "So much for going to class."

It's getting colder and I do believe my toes are going numb. Too bad my grey-knitted boots aren't guaranteed for warmth. "If only I wasn't glued to this bench" I mutter while I indulged myself to a one-sided conversation and there is no one to judge, to point or scramble away in fear---no, it's just me and my petty thoughts.

I suddenly giggle as my mind goes into freeze mode---don't ask me why I find this funny, it just is. I feel a tight pressure on my chest and my eyes are damp. I don't need to think about him; neither do I have to listen to my sister/boss talk to me about betrayal, love, guilt and all other gut tearing meant to worsen the feelings I am having. I lift my head and see my legs are turning an unhealthy blue color.

Closing my eyes I decide to play the role of snow white who is waiting to be awakened by hot chocolate.

"How long have been out here?"

finally…someone finds me.

"Not talking huh?" I hear him say as he takes a seat near me. "You've got a lot of nerve giving me the silent treatment."

"I'm waiting" I tell him. Its ironic that whenever I would think of him, he appears like fog in a scary movie.

"I'm guessing that you're waiting for prince charming." He says in a bored tone, but I know he is amused because whatever I'm involved in there is sure to be hilarity.

"Fairy tales are for children Dering. I'm waiting for a good samaritan to wake me with hot chocolate." I say and wonder if anyone makes it from scratch anymore.

Around me goes silent and I frown at this new development. Opening up my eyes I look to see that I am alone. I sit up completely and to my great shock he is not there. Swinging my legs around I pause…had I really been conversing with Elliot or did is my remorse for my actions cause me to conjure up an imaginary figure to plea for forgiveness?

Getting my things together I head home for some me time as well to preserve what's left of my sanity. Unfortunately, faith has other plans as an achingly familiar buzz tickles my hip and I groan when I see who it is. "Leave me be!"

"Request denied. I did not approve your spontaneous vacation and so I expect you in my office in twenty---"

"Forty." I argued. Sometimes it's like she thinks I'm Kid Flash.

"Twenty-five and not a second later Cassie." And then she hung up.

I huffed into the phone and shove it back into my pocket. I shouldn't have answered I should have just let go to my voicemail and now I have to march myself back to work.

My state of mood…peeved off.


When I arrived it was an understatement to say that the place was hectic. You had people left and right yelling, cleaning, rearranging and I do believe I see a new paint job going on. This total chaos can only mean one of two things. One…a giant bowling ball has ruined a chunk of the building or two…the VP is on the way and we've got to be absolutely spotless.

"Miss Jones, your sister is waiting for you in her office." Said a breathless Angela as she struggle with two boxes containing what I'm guessing to be old junk that never got thrown out.

"You need help Angie, because it looks like you won't make it to the elevator." I say scanning the boxes wearily.

"Oh you think I have it rough wait till you hear the news." She said as she wobbled pass me.

I stay mute as I let what she said process. "W-Wait! What news are you talking about?"

"You being our spokesperson is what dear Angela is referring to." A cool voice answers.

I stare at my sister whose usually controlled curly blond locks are now in disarray. I muffle my laughter and wish I had a camera but once I see her narrowed eyes I compose myself.

"You look pretty."

"Not today Cassie, we have lots to do with not a lot of time. So follow me and let's get started." She orders as she walks away.

I sigh as we remote to dog and master roles. I can walk myself but I contain my outburst for later. Reaching her office I see papers all over and two others on lap tops speaking to each other. The room is overloaded with stress that I start to feel a headache come through.

"Relax gentlemen, she's right here." Linda says as she takes a seat. "Cassie this is George and Marc." She introduces. George is the tall guy with the eagle-like nose and specks for glasses. His suit consisting of only mud-brown to enforce im-a-rule-follower-but-still-I-have-not-received-a-promotion-for-it-look. While Marc, good reliable Marc has a round face and rosy cheeks A lot like another figure we all know and love…next clue he's quite famous and can deliver presents in one night. Pleasant smile, but sweet and gentle Marc never looks up.

I give them friendly smiles but all I get in return are blank faces as they go back to their work. "And they say I'm rude." I mumble but I know they heard me as they pause momentarily in their work.

"Cassie behave, these two are top in our industry and are here to help us out. With the VP coming soon and Margret sick she can't do the presentation and so—"

"Forget it!" I shouted causing all in the room to stop and stare.

My sister's eye twitched as she let out a chuckle and came to stand in front of me. "I don't think you heard me Cassie, we have no one else and I were you I'd be more considerate."

I scoffed. Who would be considerate when you're told that you've become lamb chop for a pack of wolves?

"Well I'd be considerate if you don't put me in a role I know I can't do! I don't know anything about this company, I only know about my job and you plan to shove god knows what kind of information into my brain? Lady, you've lost your marbles!"

I am beyond frustrated. Couldn't she see that my mind is on other things? I'm in danger of loosing the trust of a customer…meaning their money and I suppose the other mushy stuff too.

"I know you're worried but trust me…you'll do fine. Just talk about what the company means to you and it will all come together. Besides you got me and the team to back you up." Linda said and showing me kindness that I have never seen before.

I take a while to let her words sink in as well as my options. One is to walk out without looking back. Which in response would be the end my job, following the circumstance of never being able to figure out Elliot Dering and finally return to life as a student.

Now doesn't that just sound so dull?

"Just hand me the script and let's do this." I grumbled as I took a seat and was handed a thin folder. "This is it? I thought I'd be a lot thicker."

Linda smirked. "Oh it is…we just didn't want to overwhelm you."

That's when I looked begins her to see at least ten more boxes, each holding the same thickness of documents. Yeah…I should have walked out.


I feel hot, bothered and the room is too small. I flap my arms around like a bird to avoid sweat marks. Everything is set and we're ready to go…in appearance but mentally I could use a few months. Remarkably my sister is drinking a cup of coffee and sitting without a care in the world.

"It would be nice if you'd show some emotions dear sister." I say tightly.

"Oh I am can't you tell?" Her voice holding upmost aloofness and I restrain myself from smacking her upside the head.

I see Marc and George come in and they are barely holding it together themselves. Poor bastards worked so hard that they're hands are stills shaking and I'm pretty sure I saw Mr. cool pop a couple of pills.

"Totally not recommended in this place." I whispered indicating to the bottle sticking out of his pocket faintly. He glares at me and shoves it further down and I shrugged. Now I know why you never got promoted.

When I thought things couldn't get any worse…this of course did. The doors swung open at the same time and in stood a woman burning with a fiery aura. Dressed in a black white slimming checked suit she walked around the table. Not sparing anyone a glance with her two smart and equally sophisticated men behind her. The room's temperature suddenly rose by six notches.

She sits down perfectly and straight as she offers a cool smile with hands folded. Looking at my sister she nods and my sister still has a good face on.

"Linda, you look well. I simply adore what you did with the place."

"Thank you Valerie, I will say the company has grown since you've been here." Linda counters and I believe I see a glint go pass her eyes while our VP Valerie doesn't look so pleasant anymore.

"I suppose, so why not get this underway hmm?" She insisted smoothly while brushing back an imaginary strand of ink black hair. Her voice indicates that she's loaded with cash and people are begging to see her at every waking moment. Typical snob.

Linda motions for me to stand up and my legs don't seem to be able to support me. I look and see Marc and George still sitting with their laptops looking at me. It would have been better if I wasn't the only one up here! I take audible deep breaths and see the VP getting impatient.

"Hello, my name is Cassie Jones and…I'm the—well Margret was suppose to be here telling you all about our company, but is away so I guess I'm taking over." I start off by saying and hear the uncomfortable cough be let out. "So…as you can see behind me, we've got charts. They say a lot….and um, since the red squiggly line it's going up…It just means good things and everybody likes that right?"

My fellow company workers look away or just don't want to look at me. They know I'm dying up here but nobody is helping. The team is right behind me my ass! Linda should not have picked me, I'm a walking disaster!

"This is very good Miss Jones but what else can you tell me? I need to know something concrete about Escada Inc or I can't report back." Valerie said and stating obviously what I know and don't need to hear. "Linda, you sure picked out a fine one" she laughed quietly with her people.

Clenching my fist I clear my throat. "Something concrete huh? Well since I work here all I can say…that it's a bit of a ticking time bomb. Everyone knows that here at Escasda Inc…our main mission is listening. It's not always easy and sometimes you just want to put a bullet through that person's head, but knowing that you're the only one who can possibly—Valerie when was the last time you had someone looked you in the eyes and said…I'm here for you?"

"W-What does this have to do with anything?" She stuttered. "This is a meeting not a-a counseling session Miss Jones."

"Isn't it? You said you wanted to know and this is what I'm telling you. This company is 24hr hotline! We are the ears to those who speak but aren't heard, the healers of the wounded and all else. Our company started off as nothing but a dream of a young couple who always like helping those in need.

It doesn't matter whether we're up or down. But at least those people who come each day and leave here walk up a little taller. We just have to be there and listen because if we don't…then how we can understand?"

Once the words left me I suddenly felt refreshed. It was like my sister had said all along and I finally get it. Talk about self-realization.

Linda stood up. "There you have it Valerie, the main concept of our company." She linked arms with me and just like that we walked out of the room.

Once in the elevator she let out a deep sigh and I looked away. "I messed up huh?"

She shook her head. "You did real good Cass, that is what we're about and who would have thought it would take all this for you to see it." The elevator dinged as we reached the main floor.

I snort. "Go figure."

"Now get out of here." She ordered playfully while giving me a knowing look. Sisters can be so scary when they knew what you haven't discovered for yourself.


From afar I can pass off as some obsessive fan. Although I don't have my handy-dandy camera nor do I have shirts or tattoos declaring my undying love, but the fact that I'm standing in front of his house and still haven't walked up to his porch is real creepy. This is bad idea. I need to leave and forget about the whole thing. I can find a less embarrassing way to see him and it will work out. Loosing all confidence I take my leave when I see him leaning up against the pole behind me staring.

"That's creepy." I utter.

"So is standing outside my house." He replies.

My insides demand to play it off as if I didn't know, but that's just stupid because he knows I'm lying. I huff and swing my arms to my side and look from him because I don't want him to see how humiliated I am.

"So…how have you been?" I ask casually.


I nod and hate the silence that ensues. "I'm—god this is a mistake! I'm going to leave." It's not he will forgive me or anything. Too bad I did not get too far since he got a hold of my arm.

"Why don't you just say it and stop being so stubborn?"

"I can't." I whined pathetically.

He raised an eyebrow. "Can't or won't?"

I look at him tiredly and I know I've been defeated. "I can't because sorry isn't enough for what I did. I was so insensitive and totally evil devious bitch and—I don't know…I should have waited and listened and I don't want you to be mad anymore."

He chuckled. "Funny, I thought those were things you'd be proud of because that is who you are."

Ouch. The truth can sting. "Yeah that's true but can let's put it out in the open that what I did went against any sense. And if I need to know anything about your past…you should tell me because you trust me."

He stayed silent for a good while and I gave him my speech but it looks like he still needs more time. Then he did something unexpected and hugged. Like real, compassionate, sweet hug.

"You're an idiot and you're speech…it was corny but sweet." He said smirking.

"Thanks." I mumbled and hug him back because it just felt nice. "Am I forgiven?"

Pulling away he nodded as I smiled softly. "Glad to know you've finally used my name. Maybe I can request you calling me master next hmm?"

I scoff when I notice his cockiness was peeking through. Nobody said sweet moments last forever. "Eat my ass Dering."

Turning around and I started my road home with his laughter echoing behind me.


So I've posted another chapter, very proud over here and just in time before the New Year so celebrate well everyone and till next time!!!


Hahaha that seems so bad ass, okay I'm done ciao!!