"Vampira van Vamp, I won't have talk like that in this house!" I yelled at my daughter.
"We have to talk, Daddy, " she said. "My mind is made up."
"You don't know your mind," I said. "You're only seventeen."
"Almost eighteen. I'll be an adult in two months, so start treating me as one."
"For more than five centuries van Vamps have been proudly night-flying and drinking human blood. Have you no respect for tradition?"
"Yes, but times change," Vampie said. "Young people have to do their own thing."
"And your thing is being a vampire." I stared at her, almost in tears. "If only your mother was here. We had such high hopes for you and your brother. How I looked forward to boasting: 'That's my boy!' when he first sank his virgin fangs in an unsuspecting throat. But then he accepted an invitation to a stake dinner at Buffy's house. Mother was so distraught that she lingered beside his grave until sunrise."
"I know, Daddy." She patted my hand sympathetically. "But I'm sure I'll make you proud of me when I become an even greater bloodsucker than a vampire."
"No, it isn't" She smiled wickedly. "I'm going to be a lawyer."
"That's my girl!"