A/N: Just as a little note, the song Retrace by Anberlin is really good to listen to while reading this. I don't know why, but the combination seems really sad and lovely, so I highly suggest it! :D


As soon as he woke up, Adam first felt an aching in his bones that reminded him that his time was limited. He could feel the damage that had been done to his body even after his long, healing sleep, and felt the memories of the wet coughs that seemed to take him closer and closer to nonexistence again. His body had phased on its own again right before he could die and it had allowed him a little bit longer, to do this.

Getting his strength together, he phased through into the human world one last time. He flew with faltering glides to the house where he knew that he would find what he was looking for. He was able to make the journey without even thinking about it and was soon at the home where he first saw the little girl of his past grow up.

He phased with difficulty through the walls of the home and tried to keep as quiet as possible as he flew to the master bedroom. He saw a woman sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at a photo and smiling. He accidentally bumped against the wall, though, and she sharply looked up.

As quickly as he could, he phased out of the house and into the yard, but he knew it was too late. She had seen him, but he had to get this over some time.

"Adam?" The woman came rushing out of the house and looked weak with relief upon seeing him. "You came back. I always knew you would."

"Jaqleen…" Just speaking her name seemed to release a spell in the both of them, and she stepped towards him.

"It's been ten years, now. You still look the same."

"You look different," he smiled.

"Yeah, thanks for telling me," she joked. "I finally look older than you."

"So you finally bought this place again," he said, looking at the house. "And started a family?"

"Yeah. Here, come see them," she smiled happily.

"Jaqleen…" He held up his hand and she stepped towards it, curious. As she held up her hand to touch it, he used all of his concentration to make it phase through. She looked at him with a shocked and hurt expression, and he knew he had accomplished getting her to think what he wanted her to. Not being able to touch her meant he couldn't love anymore. Of course, it was completely untrue, but it was the only way for her to continue her normal life.

"You…" she shook her head and told him, "I don't care if you can't love. I just want you to be with me, even if you are just a friend. I have a family now." Adam sighed sadly and prepared himself. He had hoped he wouldn't need to do this, but it needed to be done. He quickly viewed the strings of emotions that were in Jaqleen and picked up the one connected to him.

"What are you doing?" she asked, fear plain in her eyes. As long as the bond is strong enough and the humans keep seeing each other, the broken bond will just grow back. He needed to do this, he told himself. It's what's best for Jaqleen. And as she reached out for him again, he slowly cut the strings of emotion binding her to him.

For a few moments, she just stood there. Then she asked herself, "Now why did I come out here again?" Because she didn't know him anymore, she couldn't see him, and as he touched her he phased through.

"Mommy! Why are you out there?" A little girl came rushing out of the house and hugged her around the knees.

"Oh, I'm not sure, really. Maybe Mommy is losing her mind," she grinned.

"That's not good, Mommy! You have to eat your vegetables and grow up smart, like me!"

"That's right, Erica," she said, ruffling her hair. As she walked away, Adam noticed a photo on the ground that she had dropped.

As he picked it up, he couldn't help smiling sadly. It was the picture where Jaqleen was smiling to what seemed like nothing, looking like she was too in love to care about anything. And he realized that he probably looked the same way.

Floating upwards, he was about to leave this world when he saw some movement on the ground. He looked down and saw a young boy with jet-black hair, a little older than the girl, climb out of the bushes. He looked up to the sky and smiled. Right at Adam. NO.

He phased out with a shocked expression on his face as he considered what this meant. Could it be? But he couldn't leave any trace of himself behind! He couldn't ruin Jaqleen's life anymore when he was gone. But even as he dreaded facing the inevitable, he couldn't help smiling at the thought of the small boy who looked just like him when he was small.

But he knew that he didn't have much time left. He had a year left before the accident, because of the strains his body had endured while making him human, but he had days and minutes left now. And he felt a hard lump of sadness in his throat for leaving Jaqleen and the little boy behind.

And as he felt like he would collapse from the overwhelming desire to stay on Earth, he felt a prickling sensation in his eyes. He reached his hand up and felt that his eyes were wet. So he had finally become human enough to cry, as the final days of his life slowly passed by. He had been the only Spectar to truly experience love and was almost turned human because of it. And even with the pain he felt, and the realization that he was leaving more behind than just his memories, he felt that it was worth it just to feel what love felt like.


Well, there it is! Nonexistent is finally finished! I hope you liked it, because I think this was my favorite story I have ever written! Just a couple of things that I'd like to say before it's over!

I was inspired by a lot of different things, and although some aspects of the story might remind you of different things, all of the ideas are mine. :) I was especially motivated by the music that I played during writing this, and the playlist can be seen on my profile!

Also, if there's anything that you would suggest for me to work on or ideas about the Spectars in the side stories, there's still time! I'd really appreciate it, because:

*Coming Soon! A Fake Existence, Story Two of the Nonexistent series!*