It was moments like these that I hated having a dog. Seriously. I mean, sure, he was a big, loving, goofball of a German Shepherd but sometimes I wish we had just gotten a Chihuahua. That would have been easier and not nearly as disastrous. The worst thing was that German Shepherds were always seen as big, majestic, graceful, and obedient but, let me tell you, mine wasn't. Well, he was big…actually, he was mixed with something else making him bigger than the average shepherd but we weren't entirely sure what it was since his features were predominantly that of a shepherd.
He was a crazy dog that loved to 1) sleep with his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth 2) bark at the sprinklers in our yard while choking on the water and 3) smack himself on the head with the helmet that he stole from my brother. I don't know what his problem is. Even walking him was always a pain in the ass. He was the kind of dog that walked you. He pulled you, forcing you to run and sometimes even sprint just to keep up with him and then suddenly stop to start barking at his own shadow, causing you to trip over your own feet when he picked up his animated step.
But the worst part is, that even though I knew all these things about him, I was still surprised when he burst into my room and stole the birthday present my best friend – Eva – had given me yesterday. Sure, it was a gag gift so it wasn't a priceless item or anything but the joy it was bringing into my life was great so far. After all, who wouldn't enjoy opening a prettily wrapped box to find a black lacy bra with a glittery baby blue bow on the left strap and the words OPEN ME written in the same color of the bow on each cup? And a nice little card on the side read:
This is to encourage you to go find a boyfriend ;-)
Eva was a bad influence.
I chased Nacho through the house, out the back door, around the house and to the front. This is where it got slightly embarrassing. I always hated arguing with my dog in front of people; I'm sure my neighbors all thought we were a crazy family but they probably thought I was the craziest of them all, considering how many times they had witnessed my arguments with him. I had lost count after 73.
So, when he started running down the sidewalk, making his way to the next street, I was so surprised that for a second I just stood there watching as his ears just flopped over his head. Why he never kept them straight up like normal German Shepherds was beyond me. But, there he went, with his tail wagging back and forth.
I'll admit, I was sort of tempted to let him go and go back home and announce to my family that he ran away, never to come back. After all, they couldn't be too sad. They were the ones who suddenly decided Nacho would be my responsibility just because I was the one that named him. Yeah, I didn't even want a dog, thanks. I had been against getting a dog, knowing that he would become my responsibility but did anyone listen to me? No, of course not.
My siblings promised my parents that they would help take care of him but they never did.
They didn't even try…the least they could have done was take turns with me on walking Nacho. I mean, I have two older brothers, one who is a freshman at the community college and the other who is a senior in high school (Tim and Doug), I have a younger brother who is a freshman in high school (Greg), an eleven year old sister (Karly), and the eight year old twins (Mike and Mandy) I know, seven kids…I don't even want to think about what my parents were doing (why couldn't they stop at three, you know, like normal people?). Which, is part of the joke behind the bra gift; Eva was sure my parents never heard about safe sex. And, she might be right, considering that none of us had yet received the talk…not that we needed it…or, at least, I didn't, thanks.
But, back to Nacho. There should have been more than enough help! Seven kids equals one kid taking care of Nacho per day. That should have worked but did they help? NO!
So, there went Nacho and it was a bittersweet moment for me. On the one side, it was nice to see him go…I would no longer have to deal with him. But on the other side, I was sad to see my big goofball dog run away so eagerly from me. Was I that bad? I think not. I stood there, weighing my options (letting him go was seriously winning) as he got nearer and nearer to the corner but just as he turned the corner, I saw the flash of blue and remembered that I had to chase him.
The whole neighborhood already knew him what with his crazy yapping whenever we went for a walk. They knew who he belonged to. They knew who was responsible of him. ME! And it didn't help that the bra dangling from his mouth was mine! There was no way I could pass off a 36B-cup belonging to either my eleven or eight year old sister. It was so obviously embarrassingly mine and everyone would know.
Nacho must have been a mind reader because he suddenly stopped and turned to look at me. I met his gaze and he seemed to be taunting me as he sat down on his hind legs and cocked his head to the right causing the bra to swing back and forth, the bright blue bow glinting in the sunlight. His tail started wagging back and forth and that's when I knew he wasn't planning on running away but being chased. I morbidly wondered if this was his way of telling me I needed to exercise. I didn't think so, considering I walked him – ran with him – everyday for an hour and believe me that stitch on the side always made me feel like keeling over. I blinked at him and took a step forward – he didn't move. I took a few more.
"Nacho," I called, attempting to make my voice sound pleasant, "c'mon boy. Let's go home and I'll let you have some of my birthday cake from yesterday. I know you wanted some."
He kept watching me and then he suddenly lied down on his stomach, my bra still in his mouth but I figured this was a good sign so I took a few more cautious steps. I didn't want to startle him. "I'll give you as much cake as you want." I smiled as I neared him. I held out my hand. Just a few more steps –
And he took off running again. "Damn it!" I exclaimed as I sprinted after him. "Nacho! Get back over here!" I swear, I had never ran so fast in my life – not even that time that the leash was tangled on my hand and Nacho started chasing a squirrel, which, was extremely fast. "At least drop that thing on the floor and then you can leave!" I kept running. I had a mission and it was to get that bra back without anyone seeing it.
He rounded the next corner, two streets down from mine, and seemed to gain even more speed. I looked ahead, wondering what had suddenly caught his attention and my eyes widened in horror. There it was, my demise: an open garage door. And not just an open garage; an open garage with four guys sitting in plastic chairs, sipping a few sodas.
It was with that, that I also gained more speed and started screaming after him like a crazy woman. "Nacho! Stop! Heel! Freeze! Halt! Come back! Nacho! I'll give you cake! Nacho!"
For the first time in my life, I thought that I had an incredible stroke of luck…or maybe someone up there really did like me because Nacho ran past the garage. While it was still embarrassing to run past four guys sitting in lawn chairs, drinking soda, with hardly any breath, my hair all over my very red face, it wasn't nearly as bad as if Nacho would have decided to go in the garage and start licking one of them. So, I ran past them and I could feel their eyes burning into me as I kept chasing Nacho around the corner, where they could no longer see us as we passed a giant tree on the corner.
And, just like moments before when I had thought that I wouldn't have to chase him, Nacho proved me wrong because he turned straight around to face me, ran past me and around the corner and the tree we had just passed, and to the house with the open garage. The Garage; you know, the one with the four guys? Yeah, that one.
I felt my life freeze before my eyes as I watched him leap up onto the dark haired male, causing the flimsy chair to break under their weight and crash down to the floor. I didn't think it could get worse, but it did, as he started licking the guy's face.
I stood, rooted to the same spot, barely visible, behind the tree, watching as the guy sat up, and held Nacho by the collar making him sit down. This was another moment where I considered to just keep walking down this other street and go back home, leaving Nacho behind. The guys could no longer see me so it wouldn't be a problem but Nacho had his collar on and it had our address and I was sure they would go looking for the owners.
I waited a few moments to catch my breath and attempted to smooth down my hair and with a big sigh I walked back around the corner and to the garage where the four guys were seated back down, the broken chair discarded in a corner, with Nacho at their side.
I made my way up the driveway and Nacho's tail wagged even more as he saw he me.
He was happy.
I glanced around, hoping to find my bra but didn't see it anywhere as I stopped at the threshold of the garage. I forced myself to meet the guy's gaze and was caught off guard by his hazel eyes. I cleared my throat. "On behalf of my dog," there was no way I was taking full responsibility, "I'm very sorry." And with that, I went off into an embarrassing rant. "He's just not very good with people, really with anything. I mean, we took him to training school when he was a puppy but he just ended up peeing on the instructor and then we got kicked out but he's actually very lovable but a little dense and-"
I felt my face contort from embarrassment to horror and back to embarrassment in a matter of milliseconds. The guy effectively cut off my rant as, with a smirk, he lifted his hand, my bra dangling off of his index finger. The OPEN ME on each cup tantalizing me. "I don't mind obeying orders."
He had read it! I flushed and felt my anger rise, threatening to boil over. I huffed and stomped up to him, snatching my bra away. "In your dreams, perv." Okay, so I never said I was any good at comebacks but it was all I could come up with. And I should have expected his next words but I didn't want to admit it.
"Oh, I'll definitely be dreaming of you tonight."
I hooked my hand around Nacho's collar and pulled. "C'mon Nacho. Time to go. You shouldn't associate with disgusting, perverted, boys like this. It's bad for your health." I shot one last glare at them. I heard the chuckles and the murmurs as Nacho and I walked down the drive way but I ignored them.
Really, guys are disgusting. I would know; I live with a bunch of them but this just proved my point even more. On the bright side though, I had my bra back.
A/N: This idea has been stuck in my head for a while now and it was just itching to get out. So, there it is. Honestly, I only have a rough idea of where I want to go with this so it's not set in stone what's going to happen. Hang with me, okay? Okay. Anyway, I figured I might as well do this since not a lot of people seemed to be too interested in Welcome to the Estrada Resort. But, I'm still going to keep working on that one because I still like it...I just might not update that one very much anymore.
I based Nacho off of a dog I had when I was a little kid and yes, he did do those things (the sleeping with his tongue out his mouth, choking on the sprinklers, and smaking himself with the helmet he stole from my brother). Honestly, we tried to take that helmet back but somehow he always found it again. And the name Nacho is from another dog I had. Is it weird I'm starting a story based off of my dogs? I hope not.
Anyway, let me know what you guys think! =)