Chapter Eleven: Hurt


I don't remember last night. Like, at all. I remember going to a party and I remember maybe one or two beers, but I don't remember anything else. And from what everyone is saying, maybe… maybe that's the best thing that can happen at the moment. According to Rumor and KC and Rick, I got raped last night. According to the doctors and nurses and the phlebotomist who took seven tries trying to stick my IV in this morning, I got brutally raped and suffered from severe alcohol poisoning.

If you ask me, I got a sore ass and a pumped stomach, and no once-best-friend to show for it. Rumor is sitting at my side, my IV-less hand clasped in his, and Rick and KC are by the window, my parents talking to doctors in the hall. Tyler is noticeably absent from this equation and god damn it, I know it's selfish and I might just be being an attention whore here, but I was raped last night and if that doesn't warrant a goddamn happy kiss-and-make-up ending, then I've lost all my faith in Disney movies and finding my Prince Charming.

I shift a little in the bed, pain lancing up my spine and rub at the back of my head absentmindedly. I've still got a pretty bad hangover and my throat hurts, and as far as I can tell, all they're sticking in me is fluids to help cope with the dehydration getting drunk off my ass caused. Rumor checks on me immediately when I hiss in apparent pain; it's not my fault I never got fucked before and have a tender ass because of it. I wave him away, pressing the heels of my palms to my eyes and heaving a sigh. "I don't get it."

"What don't you get?"

"Am I supposed to be traumatized if I can't remember what happened?" I glance at him and Rumor shrugs, sitting back in his chair and fiddling with his fingers after resting my hand on the bedspread like I'm made of porcelain. I groan and continue, eyes flicking momentarily to the television, which is set on Dora for Gavin. "I mean… I got raped. But… I don't feel like I got raped and I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel."

Rumor shrugs again, running his tongue over chapped lips and drumming his fingers against the arm of the chair he's in. "Maybe that's a good thing," he points out as Dora and Boots stop Swiper from taking tissues or something stupid. "Maybe you can get over it faster and help the rest of us."

"From what you guys have told me, the only one directly affected by this is Tyler."

Rumor's jaw clenches and he scratches almost lazily at the 'FAG' across his stomach, the ink started to fade only to be replaced by scabs. "I still think he did it."

"No matter what he's done to me recently, Tyler would never rape me, Rumor. I know you hate him but I mean… he's not a rapist. A dickhead, yeah, but not a rapist. They took a rape kit, anyway, didn't they? We should be able to figure it out. I was too drunk to remember and not even standing me in front of a line-up is gonna make me remember who did this." I stretch my hand out in front of me lazily and lean over, looking at Rumor as he meets me halfway for a kiss, although even that movement is uncertain and almost gentle, like I'm going to break or something.

It's frustrating. I don't want to be in the hospital in the first place and Rumor acting like every little movement is going to hurt me is only making me more anxious. I can't remember what happened last night and I can't figure out why everyone is acting like I can but choose not to. I look at Rumor a little wearily, speaking in a low tone. "I'm not going to break from a kiss, Rumor."

He smiles slightly and runs a hand through my hair, pulling me forward and catching me in a decent kiss, not the namby-pamby shit he was just doing. I kiss back, fingers knotting in the coarse blanket of the hospital bed, and when we pull back from each other I smile, resting my forehead against his. "Much better."

Rumor hugs me and presses his lips to my temple, murmuring, "Sorry, but I'm just worried."

I nod, lacing my hands in the front of his shirt and smiling as I scoot a little closer on the bed; I really do care about Rumor, more than I think he realizes I do, and right now, with all this drama going down, I need someone around more now than ever before.