JMJ

9-12-09

Lips lifted into an emotionless smile as his eyes shone with an un-namable emotion. Pain jolted through his body as a cattle prod thumped against his arm. He laughed. Chuckling as he spun away from the cattle prod, letting his fist thud against into ribs, which cracked satisfyingly, causing emotion to flash across his face, piercing his heart, before the cold mask once more took over.

He spun, weaving through the group surrounding him, sporting various types of weapons, from fists to brass knuckles to cattle prods. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as bruises were dealt mercilessly on his skin. No mercy was spared on his body as he leaned into punches from brass knuckles. Soon, he no longer remembers what it felt like to be empty.

Spinning, weaving, ducking, leaning, making his muscles burn with effort. He cackled joyously as once again the cattle prod was jammed into his stomach, forcing his body to its knees. He closed his eyes and shuddered with pain, reveling in the pain that caused his eyes to water and his mind to beg for release. Despite the begging from his mind, his consciousness that had once begged for this, pain- to be released from the empty hollowness, know begged for oblivion.

Grimly, he hung onto the cattle prod, smiling sadly and attacked the man holding it, fist connecting solidly against the unfamiliar cheek bone, sending the body as well as the cattle prod flying backwards and away from the pitiful young man.

He fell painfully to the floor, as the others began to limp away. Choking on his own blood, he barely managed to roll to his side, to spit it out of his mouth. The adrenaline was edging away, and he wished once more to be in the midst of fighting. No troubles, no worries, nothing was felt but the rush of adrenaline and senses heightened to the surroundings, allowing him to feel weightless and completely in the moment, with not a single other thought but the feel of the thuds of bodies connecting and pain flaring reassuring him that what he felt was real, and could even be measured and compared.

But then he heard his name, in a sweet, gentle, soft, and desperately familiar voice. A voice that caused his heart to bang to life painfully even as it continued to shred itself; longing for the owner of the voice as much as he wanted never to hear it again. A voice laced with horror and worry over the state of his body that caused his mind to fight away from the thrill of the battle and leftover pains, from the calmness and pure exhaustion that did not make him exhausted, from the peacefulness of blooming pain that caused him to long for darkness… and fight its way back into fighting to stay conscious.

He swore loudly in his mind, feeling the warmth from her hands as they hovered over his skin, so close and yet not touching, attempting to find some place to touch that would not cause him more pain, unbeknownst her how much she caused by simply returning to his side constantly. Despite his desires, so many and so conflicting, he smiled softly, painfully, as one of his eyes began to swell closed, even as they filled with gentleness and reassurance. It's just flesh wounds, he lied. Pain threatened to take over his consciousness and he fought back against it, pushing it away as he longed for it to consume him into a blackness he knew there would be very little chance to return from.

He could see her face covered in worry as her body practically radiated it, and painfully he raised himself on his arms. What're you doing here? The question came out nonchalant, painlessly as he coughed up more blood, spitting it to the side again. However, this time, he had gone too far. His question was far from sounding nonchalant as pain made his voice waver and crack.

She grabbed his shoulders as his arms gave out, and prevented him from slamming back onto the concrete behind him. Despite valiant efforts the blackness swam closer as he could hear his name called over and over, her warmth engulfing him even as the blackness consumed him. Her soft arms lifted his head into her lap, smoothing back his matted hair.

"Just stay with us." She whispered. His heart cracked and he knew he could never deny her as he heard the sirens and doors opening.

For you, always… and the blackness consumed him. Blackness he could no longer welcome and blackness he knew he would do everything to fight his way out of, even though she belonged to another.