I was deleting some old, useless plots that were never finished (some never even started) when I found this. It was cut off in the middle of a sentence and I just fell back into it. I haven't updated anything in a while and God, this felt so good to write. Like finding an old pair of jeans and realizing those were your favorite three years ago.
Nothing feels as good as writing does.
We're completely different.
You like guys with brown eyes and black hair and I like you.
You enjoy videogames and talking on AOL and I just enjoy talking to you.
You would rather spend your time with a book than watch TV and I would rather spend my time near you.
You're completely wonderful and fun and exciting and, and well…
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
At the moment you're sitting in front of your computer checking your e-mail or something and I'm sitting on the edge of your bed, patiently waiting for you to get off.
Waiting is something I do a lot around you.
It's not that I'm complaining, I love spending time with you! It's just…
God, do you have to look at me like that?
I smile lightly, feeling my face morph into a soft expression, and you turn back to the computer screen. I want to scream, cry out, say something along the lines of 'if you're not going to talk to me then don't look at me with those damn eyes that make me want to scream'.
But I don't.
I sit quietly.
I take a deep breath and gather your sheets in my palms. "Are you done yet?" I ask softly. I don't want to make you angry or upset; I know how short that fuse is.
I just…Can't take this.
"Almost." You say, sounding distracted and far away.
'Where are you?' I want to say, 'and why can't you just take me with you?' Instead I groan. I sound like such an immature child, and hey, I am.
"All right I'm done." You click out of the window you were looking at and turn the screen off with a flick of your finger. You turn to look at me. "Happy?"
I freeze with a lopsided smile on my face. "Yeah…" I'm rooted to the bed, I can't move, you're just looking at me, probably thinking that I look like an idiot. And I can't move.
I just…I guess I wasn't expecting it…You to turn and look at me so quickly…
But God, those eyes, I don't think anything else matters but those eyes.
Well…Maybe my foot that's now going numb from staying in an awkward position for too long, but still… Your eyes are definitely better.
But my foot…
I stand up, feeling my palms sink into the edges of your mattress as I push myself up, and I make the mistake of falling on my numb foot first. My entire leg fails, as though my foot never existed, and my arms reach out unexpectedly for you.
My elbows hit your face and your back collides with the computer. Your hands, to my surprise, wrap around my shoulder blades and for a second all I can feel is your frantic heartbeat and the soft curls of your brown hair on my forehead. It felt like ribbon softly caressing my face.
And then the floor kicked you in the tailbone and me in the jaw.
I look up to quickly apologize, feeling my face burn with shame, and instead I find you out cold.
"Um…" I give a short laugh, not of out humor but oh shit.
Believe me, if oh shit was ever an emotion, it would be now.
"M-Melissa…?" I say slowly. "Shiiiiiiiit." I push myself up and straddle you.
My hands are holding your face a few inches off the ground and I'm listening to your soft breath woo my heart into a slow, deep rhythm.
I let out a sigh. "Thank God." I release your head and hold my face. The soft thud of skull meeting carpet creates a panic in my heart once again.
"Fuck, I'm sorry!" I quickly say, only to remember that you can't hear me.
I lean closer to you. Your perfect, pale pink lips are opened slightly; your thick eyelashes are resting on the tips of your sun-kissed cheeks.
"You can't hear me…" I whisper to your lips. A smile forms. "You can't see or feel me either…"
Oh no, bad thoughts.
"Melissa…" I clear my throat.
Very bad thoughts.
"I…" I brush the back of my knuckles over your cheek. I never realized how soft your skin was, that beautiful, wonderful skin. "I think I love you…?"
Bad, bad, bad, bad thoughts.
And, as I lean in more to kiss you, I see the edge of your mouth smile and then quickly form back into that neutral slack.
"What?" You whisper to me. "You're not going to kiss me?"
I throw my back straight and grow stiff. "What?!" I blink rapidly. "Y-Y-You were awake?!?"
Your eyes open and now I'm even more scared. You smile but I start to shake.
"Of course I was, silly." You say as you sit up on your palms. "You didn't hit me that hard. But…" You feel the back of your head. "That really did hurt when you dropped my head."
"I-I'm so sorry!" I say quickly. I don't want to hear you yell so I continue to ramble on. "I-I didn't know you were awake! If I had I never would have done that, or said that, or even thought the things I was thinking! And, holy shit, Melissa, I am so, so, so sorry! Please don't be mad, I swear if I only knew—"
But you moved to quickly for me to stop you.
And, just like that, your lips met mine. Your fingertips ran through my hair and held onto the back of my head, one falling down to the back of my neck. You pressed harder, and yet it felt softer.
My breath froze to ice in my throat and I could feel it sink back into my stomach.
When you broke away, I couldn't stop myself from leaning back into your kiss. You made a sound like that of a laugh and wrapped your arms around me once again.
If gravity made me fall for you and on top of you, I'm thankful that God created it.
When we both broke the kiss, your gorgeous eyes stared into mine and you smiled. "If I knew that it would take pretending to be unconscious for you to tell me how you feel, I would have done this weeks ago."
I gave a short laugh.
We might be completely different, but it seems we have one thing in common…
A bing echoed through the room, the computer screen came alive and flashed blue and white, and your eyes shot to the sight of it. "Robyn IMed me." You stood up without another word and went back to the computer.
I started to laugh as you typed your reply.
"But that's the only thing." I said to myself.
And that's what I love most about you.