All For Her
Author's Note- Some people might recognize this scene from my original skit "Stealing the Light" Names have changed and a few bits and pieces of dialogue have been edited as well. Enjoy!
A small, dimly lit shop. The shop is filled with tall shelves of candles, ranging from small, white tea candles, to over the top holiday decorations. The shop door, complete with a bell to announce customers, is at stage left. A cashier's counter can be found stage right. The counter has a cash register as well as another display candles.
Kaylee Harris is working as the sale's assistant for the afternoon. She is a college aged young woman with brown hair pulled into a high ponytail, wearing jeans, a brightly colored t-shirt, and grungy sneakers. She's sitting next to the counter, curled up in an old wheely chair. From its ripped appearance, it was obviously salvaged from a garage sale at some time in the past. As the scene starts, Kaylee is completely involved in the paperback book she is reading.
Peter Gaffner bursts into the shop through the door, the gun in his hands pointed directly at Julie. He is now dressed completely in black, including a black, knit cap over his short brown hair.
Peter: This is a robbery! On the floor!
Kaylee screams, but throws herself to the floor awkwardly from the chair. The book falls forgotten onto the floor next to her.
Pleased that she has done as instructed, Peter puts the gun in the holster on his belt and pulls a black trash bag out from under his shirt. He then proceeds to put candles in it, one at a time. Kaylee watches from her position on the floor.
Kaylee: Uh, sir?
Peter does not acknowledge her as he continues to put candles in the bag.
Kaylee: You do know this is a candle store, right?
He still does not look at her.
Kaylee: Well, uh, no offense—really no offense because you're the one with the gun and I'm just this girl lying here on the floor, totally helpless, so please, please, don't shoot!—but what's the point of robbing a candle store? (He doesn't respond. She waits a beat before continuing.) It's just that there's a jewelry store to the right of us and a bank to the left. So, why stage a robbery here?
He continues to fill his bag with candles.
Peter: I like candles.
Kaylee: I do too, but you don't see me robbing the store. And besides, we're having a sale. Buy two, get one half off. Or, buy three, get the fourth free. There's even a little collection by the register that are all half off. If you take that into consideration, wouldn't buying in bulk be a lot easier than robbery?
Kaylee: Are you sure? I mean, yeah, you have to pay for your purchases, but isn't that worth it to avoid all the cops and jail time and stuff like that, that comes with robbing a store? And as I said, we're having a sale. All lavender scented candles, only ninety-nine cents with the purchase of a fresh mint candle.
Peter stops and finally turns to her, a candle in one hand that hasn't quite made it into the bag yet. He considers this for a moment.
Peter: Where are they?
Kaylee: You know what? It's really hard to explain. Blue candles to the right of the watermelon shaped ones, six candles up from the yellow… it gets confusing. Let me just show you where they are.
She begins to get up, but before she can get far, Peter pulls the gun out again and points it at her. She shrieks and drops once more to the floor.
Peter: On the floor!
Kaylee: Sorry! Sorry!
The store is silent for a few seconds as Peter puts the gun away again and continues to put candles in his bag, one at a time.
Kaylee: I still don't get why you're robbing a candle shop when there's way better places to rob right next door.
Peter: I told you, I like candles.
Kaylee: You already said that and that's totally not an explanation. Don't you like jewelry and money more? I know I do. Because as nice as candles are, they're totally not going for much these days. For example, the flower candles over there are three dollars for set of four. You're not going to find any sets of four for three dollars over at the jewelry store. It would probably be more like… one ring for a hundred dollars, cheapest. Doesn't that sound like a better steal to you? Because, I mean, there's steals here too—all lace white, garden green, and rose pink candles are a dollar each to celebrate spring—but I don't think that's the kind of steal you're looking for—or I guess they will be once you steal them... But that's not the point! The point is, wouldn't it be better to rob some place with more… valuable merchandise? And what about the bank? Forget merchandise, gold, silver, wax, or otherwise. They've got actual money! (Kaylee's eyes go wide in shock and realization as she realizes what she's suggesting.) I'm not saying I want you to rob the bank or the jewelry store or anything like that, I'm just trying to figure out what kind of person robs a candle shop when there's two way better places to conduct a robbery within less than a fifty foot radius.
Peter crosses to another shelf and begins taking more candles. He's silent for a moment as if deciding whether or not to tell the truth.
Peter: My fiancé really likes candles and her family's in the mob business, so I thought I'd go do this as a nice gesture. You know, to get in good with the family while impressing her and showing her father that I really do care about his daughter.
Kaylee: Aww, that's sweet... You should go for those lavender candles I was talking about before. Girls really go for lavender scented stuff. That would be an even nicer gesture. It would really show you care.
Peter seems to like this idea. He glances down at Kaylee.
Peter: Where are they again?
Kaylee: Over there.
She points to a shelf near the door.
Peter: Ah, thanks.
Peter spots them and walks over, dropping a few into his bag.
Julie: No problem.
White candles collected, Peter walks over to the counter and drops the bag on it. He pulls the gun back out points it at Julie again.
Peter: All right, get up off the floor now and take all the money out of the cash register.
Kaylee climbs off the floor, her hands above her head and walks behind the counter. She begins to punch a few numbers into the register. Peter keeps the gun trained on her, but less rigidly.
Kaylee: Thanks for letting me get was pretty disgusting on this floor. Stacy, the other girl who works here after class was supposed to mop yesterday, but I really don't think she did… There's crap and dust getting all over my clothes now. Seriously, I thought some of the stuff down there might attack me… It's pretty rank. (There's a beat as she punches in the last number and the register dings open.) That'll be seventeen fifty-two, please.
Kaylee: Seventeen fifty-two. I saw all the things you put in your bag, and your total is seventeen fifty-two.
Peter: This is a robbery! I'm not paying!
Kaylee: But it's only seventeen fifty-two!
Peter: I'm stealing a whole garbage bag full of candles, how the hell does it come to seventeen fifty-two?
Kaylee: Weren't you listening to anything I said? We're having a sale! Now come on, are you seriously going to steal seventeen fifty-two worth of candles? If I were your mob family wife, I would not be impressed, nice gesture or not.
Peter: You wouldn't?
Not only does he look upset by this new development, but he looks rather worried. If stealing candles won't impress Gina, it clearly won't impress her father.
Kaylee: Uh, no. That's like shop lifting a bottle of really cheap perfume from a drugstore. You know, like the crap that doesn't even smell good. There's just no point in stealing it.
Peter is slipping back into his earlier panic. As he begins to speak again, his emotions begin to creep into his voice making him sound almost desperate.
Peter: But I'm holding you at gunpoint! (he waves the gun to prove his point) You don't hold people at gunpoint when you're shoplifting! Especially not cheap perfume!
Kaylee: Doesn't make a difference. You're still only stealing seventeen fifty-two worth of candles. (She pulls a coupon out from under the counter) And if you make your purchase with this coupon, you get twenty percent off. Sorry sir, you might as well pay and try your luck at the jewelry shop instead. Trust me. Your fiancé's going to be way more impressed if you bring home a bag of stolen jewelry instead of a bag of stolen candles. I think she'll forgive you for buying the candles.
Peter: I guess you're right…
Kaylee: Of course I am. That's fourteen oh two with the coupon.
Peter takes his wallet out of his back pocket, pulls out a twenty, and hands it to her. Kaylee gives him his change and he turns, leaving the store. She waves to him cheerfully.
Kaylee: Thank you for your patronage and good luck with the jewelry store! I'm rooting for you and I hope your fiancé's impressed!
Peter shuts the door behind him. The moment it closes, Kaylee pulls her cell phone out of her pocket and dials 911.
Kaylee: Hello? Police? Yeah, I'd like to report a robbery. (Beat) The bank downtown. (Beat) Description? Uh, white adult male, average height, all in black. He's carrying a big bag of candles. (Beat) No, he paid for those.
Author's Note- Thanks for all the feedback on the first scene! I've been working on a revision of that today, so chances are, by the time you're finished reading this, the new version should be up.
Hime- I know you didn't leave a reply, but seeing as I know you read this, I'm so glad you found Peter's growing panic hilarious. I found it rather adorkable myself. Haha.
Spurlunk- Thanks for the review! I tried to take your advise and make the first scene a little funnier, so if you have time you might want to go back and reread it? It's up to you. Yes, we did step into the middle of things. The real story isn't about Gina and Peter getting together. They're already together. This is about Peter desperately seeking the approval of his soon to be father-in-law... pretty ineptly. Haha. However, if you feel like it needs a little back info, I can see what I can do in a later edit. Thanks so much for the suggestions!
Martin- Like Hime, I know you read even though you didn't leave a review. Perfectly fine seeing as we talked about it for like an hour. Heh. I tried to take your suggestion about Vinnie and the watch so let me know what you think. Oh, and I used your ending suggestion too. Did I do good or should I scrap it?