I know it's stupid of me to say, but he looked like death. And it's stupid of me to say because he is dead. He died three nights ago. I woke up one morning and Mom and Dad told me. I didn't say anything. I didn't know if I could. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that my brother is dead.
I am lying on my bed like I have been for the last two days, jumping at ever noise. Every little noise sounded like Matt calling my name. "Kayla. Kayla." He called over and over again. I shivered. The next voice was no matt, but Dad calling me. "Time to go." He called. To the funeral, I finished in my mind.
So now we are at the funeral. All eyes were on me, ready for me to say something. I know what they expected me to say, "He died too young. He will be missed." Both of which were true. Matt will be missed. And sixteen, two years older than I, is too young.
"My brother," I began, speaking for the first time since he'd died, "was awesome. Truly. He'll be missed by everyone in this room, and some who aren't." I took my brother's cold hand, a move that shocked every person in the room. "He died way too young. I'll miss him. I wish he'd never died. But given the situation. I'm glad he did. A collective gasp. I released Matt's hand.
"Don't get me wrong, if things had been different, I wouldn't have said that. But Matt has been in the hospital since he was eight. Dying of cancer. Skin cancer. He has been suffering for years. I knew that he was ready to die, begging to be released from his cage. I know he was sad to go, but I know it was the best thing for him." I turned back to my brother. My last words to him:
"Be free Matt. I love you."
© Double I 4 My Guyz