The Changes in Life
It all began when she first realized that she needed to change her life around. She did that by first going to the place she was welcomed and once knew, which was her church. Everyone there was worrying about her and wondering what ever happened? They had no idea that deep down she was hurting. She was hiding from the world and was afraid, more terrified than anything to let people back in her life. It slowly got easier everyday by turning her life around and taking time to pray. She wanted to have people look at her as that little girl they once knew and who began a young lady. Alliah knew she wouldn't be looked at that way as she did once long ago. It was going to take time and effort but she was willing to try and had God on her side. She always had and always will, but needed the strength to put her mind to what she really needed and that was great friends and family to help her along her way.
The Beginning of new Friendships
The days Alliah knew slowly past to weeks and she started to feel happy again, her friends noticed she was changing and had no idea why. They only thought she was crazy or ill, but never knew she was rededicating her life to the Lord, the creator of all and changing her old ways and putting new ones ahead to achieve. Some of her friends had no idea she was a Christian at all either, it was Alliah's fault not telling her friends, but soon that would all change. Alliah knew she wanted her friends to know the man she knew and loved and gave her life and everything meaning to him. It was just going to take some time she thought, but she knew she could convince them to come with her to her youth group she went to and change their ways too.
Time passed on and she was starting to become more frequent to her old church she always attended as a little girl. One day she noticed a certain person she never seen before. He was hanging out with her cousin Laura and talking and laughing with her. Laura and Alliah were always quite close when they were younger, but Laura started growing up and changing herself in her ways. The two girls only saw one another once in a while and made the best of it when they could. Alliah still had her mind set and wanted to know who this guy was. "I bet he is Christian and is a great guy," she thought to herself. She tried hanging with Laura more and began to talk to this new guy too. Alliah noticed when he didn't say much because when he did, it was always something quick or polite and all he would say was, "Hey! How's it going? Or like Hi!" She wished they talked more, but they didn't. Derek was his name. It took her a while to find out, but she heard Laura say his name. Instantly she remembered that name never hoping to forget it. Alliah introduced herself to Derek, but he never really paid much attention to her. He was more interested in her cousin and she never fully understood why? Alliah was looking for that special guy in life to sweep her off her feet. All she knew was she liked him and had no idea how to talk to him and start a conversation. Alliah sat by them as much as she could during the service on Sunday's, but ended it by giving up. She told herself maybe God hasn't opened his heart yet and Derek had no idea she was really there. All Alliah knew was Laura wouldn't date Derek because she was with a guy herself and she knew then that she had a chance of one in a million.
Alliah went home that day and thought to herself deeply, "How can I keep my mind straight and focused for God and know that I am wanting other things instead?"
She had her heart broken once before and wanted that pain deep down to be filled. Alliah thought that would happen by finding Mr. Right, but had no clue God would give that special guy to her one day when she wasn't looking for it.
"Hey Allah!," yelled Noelle. What are you doing today?
"Well…. I have no idea, I thought of maybe going up to the park maybe later," said Alliah.
Oh I was just wondering because you know how much fun we have when we hangout?
Alliah laughed really hard after that.
Yeah I know we do Noelle, but I just am not feeling much as myself right now.
How come? You seem to be different lately, and well I wasn't sure why? Alliah is there something going on that you would like to tell me? I am your best friend and you know how great our talks can be?
I know how they are Noelle, but I have no clue where to start.
Start from the beginning silly! "Okay then. You know how I had a hard time after the accident and trying to get past that?" said Alliah.
"Yeah I do, it was a tough time on all of us. Your mom had no right to leave us like she did. I miss her still up to this day."
I know you do Noelle, but she was my mom and you have no idea how it is living without her. It's so hard, and I cry all the time. I know that God wants me to look past her death and grow from it and I have and there are also times that I fail too. I work so hard to achieve goals I set for myself and what do I do? I get myself into trouble and the wrong friends. You already know all this, but what I did was to change it all by asking God for forgiveness. He is helping me and mending my broken heart. He can do the same to yours too. I know your heart isn't broken and your mind is confused. Can you help me with this commitment I have made and we can grow through this together?
"Yeah I will! Allah I am here for you and will never leave your side. You have my word on that." Replied Noelle.
Noelle left Alliah's house and went back home. Alliah really wanted to get out and go to the park like she told her best friend and was confused about other things too. Alliah needed to clear her mind so she decided to go downstairs and went to the kitchen. There she wrote her Dad a note saying she was going to the park and would be back in about an hour. Walking down her street, she couldn't help thinking to herself about Derek. "I wonder what grade he is in? Is he a junior? He looks like it… neah he looks older than that. Maybe I am not his type? Man that would totally stink," was all she could think about. He was on her mind and he would be for a long time too. Alliah knew things in life were just going to get harder for her, but deep down she knew God was there to make her pain ease and lighten up to enjoy herself and have some smiles and laughter.
She finally came to the park and immediately went to the swings. Those were her favorite. She use to always play on them when she was younger and amused her too. Alliah love to have fun and enjoying the wind blow in her hair as she swung back and forth on the swings. It was a beautiful day outside and like it had been for the past month. All this nice weather that she had been having was really great.. Alliah knew God's work was amazing and tried her best to praise it as much as she could. She failed at that a lot too and along with other things. Things would come up and she would make excuses to not do them and then get behind in her devotions too. Everyone makes excuses and she was someone who did. Alliah tried her best and put effort into not doing that as much as she did.
Sunday came around again as it always did each week and Alliah was excited to be going to church. She knew that she would see her friends and hangout with them too. Noelle would be there and so would Laura and Derek. Her Pastor preached on putting you life right with God and let him do the rest. She knew she had problems in her life and had to confess to her sins too. Crying was the easiest thing she did, and when God spoke to her she felt relieved and wanted to keep things right. It was a hard job, but she was willing to try. Alliah told herself everyday to try her best and not to give up, there she decided to make some new commitments and that is what Alliah did. She was giving up on looking for guys and made a commitment to God that when he thinks I am ready to date then he will tell me and show me who he wants for me in my life also. It was going to be sooner than she thought too. God works wonders in our lives and when you least expect it, he shows up and does something miraculous to our lives.
Derek was wandering around after church that morning and came across Alliah. Derek saw her crying and wondered what was wrong. That was the first time he realized who she really was and couldn't believe he missed such a beautiful girl like her. Her face was like an Angels and her voice so peaceful, and when she smiled it was priceless. "How stupid can I be to not talk to her, I have been so caught up with Laura and talking with her, I never even really got the chance to know Alliah!" This is my chance he thought, I will go and talk to her, no maybe I shouldn't… Maybe she doesn't like me and got tired of waiting around while I wasn't paying any attention to her. I still think its best to talk to her," thought Derek and that is what he did.
Derek walked up to Alliah and saw her really crying now. He didn't know why, so he asked her. " Alliah? Um… is everything all right?"
"Huh, oh its you, well… yeah it is. I was just praying to God. Had some stuff to on my mind and to pray about. Why is it any of your business anyway? It concerns me not you." Replied Alliah
"Alliah, don't be upset at me, I barley talk to you and just wanted to talk to you and see what's wrong, that's all and what do you do instead, is bite my head off. That isn't very nice."
Yeah I know it isn't, but I guess you just caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting you'd talk to me. You never do and what changed now? What's stopping you not talking to Laura now?" So many question flew through her mind, but she decided to get herself under control before she lost it, and he noticed.
You are right Alliah, I never gave you any chance at all, and no clue that I wanted to talk to you, but I do. I know Laura from last summer, we worked together at this camp, and well I met her there. I enjoyed it there and well seeing her here at Church really brought back camp memories. I am sorry for not telling you before." Said Derek.
Alliah was really shocked and surprised what was going on? Had God answered her prayer? No… she thought, it was too soon, maybe she thought to herself God is showing me to be friends with him and go from there. I could work with that. Alliah was getting so confused and was to the point of crying again, right then Derek saw this and immediately grabbed a hold of her and only knew that she needed comfort and a hug. Alliah was surprised by his actions and let him go on as he did, she has some stuff to say and that's when she pulled away.
Derek, I understand now what you are saying, and well I am glad you thought about talking to me, but you still never answered my question about Laura? Are you still talking to her all the time though? If so I don't think that's a good idea, I mean you can, its your choice, but don't come running to me and complaining that she wont talk to you much no more, I am telling you now this is just one of her games.
Derek took a long time to respond and then thought carefully what to say, well…. She and I are just friends, and her best friend and herself are talking a lot more now, so I am feeling not so welcomed over there.
"Oh okay then. That is how Laura treats her friends. She has always been like that. I see you're only seeing this now, but it's quite normal."
" well yeah I am," Said Derek.
"I am sorry that this is happening, but maybe its for the better good." Replied Alliah.
The two of them talked a while after that and really had a lot to talk about. Come to find out he just recently moved up to this area. Derek and his family traveled a lot and to different churches to find the right one they were most conformable at. They were missionaries and traveled everywhere, but moving to Michigan was there permeate stay. He became best friends with her other cousin Greg too. Greg was a funny guy and having Greg and Derek being close, well it was pretty funny watching them. They are complete idiots and a couple of the funniest guys at our youth group too. Alliah knew that great things were going to come to her if she was just patient and let things happen as they did.
Having Derek in her life now as just a friend only was going to help her overcome her fears. She had feelings for him, and just didn't know how to get around them. When he hugged her for just that one minute he did, she felt like everything had come into place, that hug was the best thing she had felt, her heart wasn't broken anymore and she was happy. Alliah knew that just this one glimpse was something she could work towards to, but when she pulled away to tell him the rest of her question she wanted to ask, it was torture. "How can I do this to myself?" she thought, I am just tearing myself apart. She needed to get a grip and that is what Alliah did. "Take a breather!" and so she did.