Now I'm standing on a mountain of rubble
That once was a wall
Took years to build around me
And you came along
And you tore it down
Like it was nothing at all
Now it's a little scary
Learning to fall

~Martina McBride 'Learning To Fall'

The world had been beautiful once, but that had been because he had been here, she thought sadly as she leaned against the headstone. She felt closer to her little brother this way.

She sighed as the wind ruffled her hair. "I wish . . ." The young woman trailed off and began again. "What I mean is I'm still hoping to find you. I know it's been years, but I need closure. I hate myself for hoping, because there's no chance your still living." The woman began to cry, curling up into the fetal position. "I do hope."

Taking a moment to regain her composure, she began to speak again, as though if by speaking to the headstone her brother could somehow hear her. "Dad was put in the hospital yesterday. His cancer is getting worse, if the doctor's are right, he'll die before Christmas. I think this is what he wants. Ever since Mom's accident this family has never been the same. She died and you . . . You just disappeared! That whole car was burnt to a crisp, and there was no evidence of you being in there, except for the fact that the seatbelt was buckled.

"I know this is what he wants. He wants to be with Mom and you, because I know you can't be anywhere else but in Heaven. I just can't believe I might be alone this Christmas. My friend's are leaving town . . . And speaking of friends, they keep insisting I get a boyfriend. And I will, somewhere in the future, I just want to spend more time with Dad before the end comes. The doctor's give him five months, but the way he's acting, I think it would be a stretch to give him two.

"Tell me, is it being selfish to want him alive? I know he's in a lot of pain, and I want him to be free of that, but I can't imagine life without him. Am I being selfish?" The woman stopped speaking as though she were waiting for a reply. When one didn't come she stood. "I'll see your tomorrow." She whispered as she walked out of the cemetery.

The wind howled behind her.

┬ęDouble I 4 My Guyz.

Lyrics posted at the beginning do not belong to me.

~DI4MGZ~