A Lot in Life
Adia walked alone on a path that roamed its way through a forest that was still new to the world. A mist covered the crescent moon, and a light rain fell to the earth, creating pleasant noises with the creek that ran along the path. Hunched over, with the collar of her leather jacket turned up and her usually tousled hair plastered to her face, Adia did not look like the cheerful person everyone knew her to be. Her face was set in a grim, yet determined smile as her amber eyes watched the rain fall.
She was proud of who and what she was and there was nothing anyone could say to make her feel otherwise. There had been countless occasions when people had said comments about her sexuality, her sex, her energy, outlook, appearance, her passions. Every time someone came to her with something to say about who she was, she would simply look at them and assure them that, yes, they were right, but that did not mean they had to tell the world when she was perfectly able to do so herself.
This though, this hurt. It had taken time, so much time for her to come to this conclusion and when it had she found herself almost unable to speak. It seemed almost a curse and she prayed that she would one day be proven wrong. However, it seemed that it did not matter how many people she fell in love with, or how strong that love was, they could not love her in return. Sure, her closest friends held her and whispered their adoration to her. She did not doubt that it was true, but she knew that those feelings were those of a friend dearer than life, or a sister connected by a spirit that was stronger than blood. Adia herself could not describe her own feelings for them, all she knew was that she gave away bit of her heart, and bits of her soul to any being that came fourth and asked for it. She knew that they would take that bit, and carry it with them for the rest of her life, possibly never knowing what it meant, never knowing how much it hurt her to watch it walk away so easily.
The woman ran her hands through her hair and turned her face to the sky, closing her eyes against the gentle sting of falling droplets.
It took a lot for her to come to grips with this. To know that she may not be cherished as she cherished others, and to know that those who had ripped her to shreds, would have her forgiveness and love again at a simple word such as 'help'. For as long as she could remember, she had wondered why she allowed people to use her nature against her, to take her happiness and turn it into their own. It was not until this day did she realize, that they did not use her nature against her, but it was her nature that reached out and begged to be used by them. She recalled so many times when beings would walk into her life, tear her to nothing, leave her soul bleeding in her hands, and leave only to return with a plea for forgiveness and assistance, without a single whisper of apology.
Turning her face away from the starless, cloudy sky, Adia looked to the creek, her smile twitching a touch brighter. If this was who she was to be, then who was she to deny who she was? Why turn away from a situation where you could get hurt, only to run into a wall that was guaranteed to hold you back. Why horde your spirit and your soul for yourself, when it was created to be released into the universe around you.
Smiling further, she slowly stripped off her clothing, reveling in the feeling of the rain touching her flesh. She knew the world was accepting her for who it had created her to be, it was time for her to step in, and accept herself, which she did as she stepped into the cold flow of the creek. Determined, she let herself fall, trusting in the soul of the world and being rewarded for the trust. Her face turned to the sky, as rain fell to her body, and the creek rushed over her sides and arms, with a deep breath, she further opened her mind, opened her heart, and opened her soul for the world to rush in, and take from her all it would ever need.