Pointless

Don't even bother to look me in the eyes,
I won't do a damn thing but look away.
You aren't allowed to see the fire that dies
And you don't deserve these tears of dismay.

And yet these floodgates quiver and burst
Releasing the rivers that don't belong
Running down my face, and I find myself coerced
To believe that I'm the one who's wrong.

Is this really what "love" boils down to—
A slinging of words and a slashing of wrists
A state of sorrow and feeling forever subdued
Spending the nights wishing not to exist?

So this is how romance is meant to feel—
Instead of warmth and joy, it's ice and depression
Always having to twist, turn and conceal
Wondering why you keep such agony in your possession?

And what's the point of discussing remorse?
Where's the sense in living in a lie?
When did this "love" fall off the course
And when did efforts at revival die?

Instead it's nothing but a bunch of tricks and games
Who can keep who in the dark for the longest,
And in the end who can be convinced to take the blame...
The winner is the one whose lies are the strongest.

Well, I'll be the loser in this ongoing charade
As I can't force myself into a state of deception
I look back at all the mistakes that I have made
And regret that I did not make any corrections

Before this all got so goddamn out of hand
Instead I allowed myself to be stricken blind
But now I think that I finally understand
That the emotions were long since left behind.

And I guess that will be just fine with me
As soon as I can break away and start to retreat
Before my scars slash open and start to bleed...
Before I collapse to the ground in final defeat...

In the end, it's all a pointless endeavor
And this is why I cannot look you in the face.
Because there's no such thing as "forever"
And I'm leaving the past with nothing but disgrace.