AN: SO AFTER I THOUGHT THIS THRU THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH. I'M NOT THAT GOOD WITH SEX SCENES SO I HOPE YOU GUYS DON'T GET MAD AT ME IF I DISSAPOINT YOU...ANYWHO...HERE GOES NOTHING...
PEACE :)
Chapter 13- Richard's pov
I was watching him, hearing him but I still couldn't believe it. He said he wanted me, loved me and cried. Cried for my love, demanding for me to love him back. I just froze there, like a statue. Never in my life someone told me they loved me, that they needed me...I can't even describe what I'm feeling. If this is what love is, than I want more, I want everything.
His hair was blowing in the wind, his eyes were drifting somewhere far away. I kept thinking...is this really happening? Is this reality or just a dream? He was pouring his heart out and all I could think was ...I want to kiss him so bad, I want to make him mine so bad. I want to carve my name in his heart so he could never forget me, so he could always be mine. I want to take hold of him completely.
I've been waiting for those words all my life. All my life I've been waiting for someone who was willing to love me for me, someone who could show me what love is, what being loved feels like. Someone who could make me feel like I belong. And I do feel I belong, I belong with him and my son.
I told him what I felt, what I wanted. There is nothing in this world I want more than him. He had to know that. He had to know what he was getting himself into. I know myself pretty well, or so I'd like to think. I knew he would accept me even before I asked him. I knew he would stay by my side no matter what. It's not cockiness, I guess I just new from the beginning he's the one, he's the one I've been waiting for. And now that I know he's mine, I'll never let him go.
Still, I want to do this right. I don't want to rush anything. I've never been with a man before. Hell, I've never been attracted to a man before Adam. Funny thing is, I've never cared for a woman before either. For me sex was always more like a necessity than desire. Whenever I felt the need for someone, I knew where to find them. All you ever need is a full pocket. But with Adam, is different. I don't to hurt him, and I have a pretty good idea what sex between males implies. I want this to work. No, I'll make it work...
Adam's pov
By the time we got back home, my heart was thumping so hard I thought it will jump out of my chest. I was nervous, shaking like a leaf. I felt as is I drank a gallon of coffee.
It was dark outside already and Brian was asleep. We put him directly to bed, even though he was not in his pajamas. We just didn't have the heart to wake him up. Besides, I was preoccupied with something else, namely, Richard. I didn't have a clue what would happen between us. But I never expected what followed next.
After I took a shower I got into my night clothes, baggy pants and t-shirt. I walked out of the bathroom and I all but ran towards my bedroom. Truth be told, I was scared. All evening I avoided Richard like a plague, I couldn't even look him in the eyes. Some man I am...after spilling my guts like that, here I was walking between landmines. I wanted him, there's no question about that. But I didn't felt ready. I never had sex, didn't really know how it's done between men and there was no way I'll embarrass myself by saying these things to Richard. He didn't even know he gave me my first kiss...oh Lord, I'm ashamed to be called a man...
I almost made it into my room when suddenly I feel a hand grabbing mine from behind.
,,No, tonight you'll sleep with me." Richard's voice startled me, but his tone even more. He seemed so calm, so determined. I turned around and I found myself inches away from his face. He was staring at me, with eyes so intense that my hart skipped a beat.
,,Okay" was all I could manage before he turned around and lead me to his bedroom. He was still holding my hand when he layed down on his bed, urging me to do the same.
The room was dark and outside you could hear thunders in the distance. Seems like a storm is coming our way. Still, that was nothing compared with my inner turmoil. I got into his bed...the sheets smelled like him, I could feel his body heat emanating. We were sitting on our backs, staring at the ceiling and holding hands. It was so quiet, I could hear my heart beat humming in my ears. His fingers intertwined with mine but I couldn't stand it any longer.
,,Richard, I have to tell you something..." His thumb began making circles on my palm. Oh man, I was just so nervous I was on the verge of a heart attack.
,,What baby?" His voice came out as a whisper, and hearing him call me that...I was instantly aroused...I wanted to be his so badly...
,,Promise not to laugh, ok?" I felt so childish, my face must've been so red...luckily for me, the room was dark. That spared me from the embarrassment of Richard seeing my...desire.. and shame for that matter.
,,I promise."
I shifted my body and he did the same, so now we were standing on the side, face to face in the dark. I could feel his breath on my face and after my eyes adjusted with the dim light, I could see his eyes, sparkling like two sapphires.
,,You are my first..." I said in one breath and stared at him in expectation.
,,What do you mean?" said Richard in an even tone.
,,Well, I mean you're my first in everything...I've never been with a man before, or with a woman for that matter...I've never hold hands with anyone. You gave me my first kiss, although technically I robbed it from you, you're the first person I fell in love with...So, what I'm trying to say here is that I'm not that experienced and right now I'm scared shitless, and I want you so bad it hurts...but I don't want you to think less of me because really, I feel like a blind person trying to cross the highway here...you know what I mean? And I.."
I was stopped from my rambling by his touch. His hand caressed my cheek and I relaxed under his gentle fingers. His thumb began rubbing my lower lip and in that instant I knew what will happen even before it did.
His lips crashed against mine in a fierce kiss that sent electricity thru my body. In a second he was on top of me, and I could feel he was just as hard as I was. His hands went under my shirt caressing my sensitive skin. I began to shiver with want and to moan under him. From my mouth he went to my neck, licking and nipping at it. His tongue was a torch burning my skin, leaving behind rivers of hot lava...
I opened my legs allowing him to sit between them but in the same time I felt like I was inviting him to take me.
,,You don't even know how much I want you right now...how much I want to be inside you." said Richard with a voice I didn't recognize as his.
,,Don't say anything Richard, please...just fuck me..." Obviously it was only the need to release this desire that made me say that. In truth, I really didn't feel prepared for it. He seemed to pick up on that.
,,Don't worry baby, I'll make you feel good..."
He was towering over me and I didn't even feel when my pants went down. I didn't even feel him as he took down his. All I remember is his hand taking as both and stroking us together on a hypnotizing rhythm...
I remember the feeling of his skin rubbing against mine, my fingers grasping and tugging at his back, clawing him... I remember as I wanted to be swallowed by the mattress as I felt the wave of pleasure coming over me. I remember as I arched myself into him when the pleasure was too much to bare...I remember I said his name thru gritted teeth, afraid to let my voice out. I remember him saying something when he came in the same time as me, but my mind was to foggy to register anything.
He collapsed on top of me, his hand and my stomach full of come, but I didn't care...I never felt more sexy or pleased than in that moment.
Richard gave me a lazy kiss that almost made me purr under him, and then we took a shower... Together, of course...We didn't talk much after that, we were just communicating thru our gestures..like him soaping my body, me washing his hair...us kissing under the hot sprinkler. It's these little things that make me happy and content. My shame and embarrassment faded after those moments of intimacy and I felt proud about myself because Richard liked me, and was attracted to me.
After the shower we went back into his bed and he held me at his chest, just like you hold your lover... I a funny way, I liked it. Because in that moment I wanted to feel protected and be cuddled just because it was him holding me.
,,What do you want to do tomorrow baby?" asked Richard while running his fingers thru my hair.
,, Nothing...just lay here, with you..." that made sound like a lazy ass and a freaking maiden in love...,,I mean, it's Sunday and all, we should rest."
I try to salvage the situation without sounding like a spoiled brat but I guess he's on to me..
,,I would like nothing more just to sit with you in bed all day long and spoil you. But you do know we have a son too. You'll just have to share me with him." And then he laughed. Our son? I like the sound of that. Cheesy, I know...
Just because I feel so good in his arms, this time I'll let it slide. But tomorrow I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much I really love him. Because I really do. What have I gotten myself into?