Stronger When Down

I try to be strong
Trying to be all the way through
I fake smiles perfectly
My laughs sound as they used to
It's all a game
Now who plays better?
The faker or the one who knows I'm faking?

I am strong
Not as strong as I want, but
My fake smiles fit perfectly
The laughs they still go along
You confront me:
"Who plays fake better than you?"
Faker or everyone else around me?

I try to stand up,
You push me back down.
I just look up at you.
You know I won't say anything.
We both know I won't.
You ask the simple "Why?"
Fake smiles start to be real no matter how fake.

I stare at you,
I'm ready to break down and you know it.
Your eyes blue at glance,
But I watch yours now they're different colors.
I sigh, looking down, listening:
"You can't do this to me. I'm wanting to help you."
Nothing is fake now, real tears start to fall.

I fall apart,
Every tear just streaming down my cheeks.
Your still there by me.
You even sit by me,
Pulling me into your arms.
You whisper into my ear:
"Go ahead and cry, I'm here for you."

I break down.
I tell you everything,
I even show you the scars and the fresh cuts.
You frown, knowing I broke it.
I want to stop for us.
You want me to stop for the better of me and our relationship
I just cry, saying "Sorry" many times over.

You hold me
You have your own problems
You could move on to a better person
Someone more emotionally stable
I ask you now,
Even though I fear the answer:
"Why don't you move on to someone better?"