Chapter five: Self Discovery

I learned quickly that the grouchy man's name was Frank. He knocked quickly on my hotel door and instructed me to move as quickly as possible, and once we had his blue S10 pick up truck loaded with my money and my other things, I broke the powder line. Frank had the motor running and was impatiently waiting for my ass to hurry up and get in. I had hopped in when he then asked me if I was hungry because he could smell the acid in my stomach. Even if I had said no, it would have accomplished nothing. He drove to some fast food joint and got me a burger, fries, shake and another burger for later. How long we're we gonna drive?

"Um Frank?" I asked after about two hours being on the road. "I kind of need to use the bathroom."

Frank huffed, "By kind of I assume you mean your about to pee yourself?"

Well those weren't the exact words I would have used around a person I just met... But, yes. "Yeah."

"There's a truck stop about a quarter of a mile up the road. Can you hold it that long?"

"Yeah." We went back into silence after that and I held my huge bladder.

When we pulled up into the truck stop, Frank got out first and sniffed the air, he nodded to me signaling it was safe to get out. I opened my door, and ran like I was being chased to the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to care how stupid I looked. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Finally after I did my business, I walked to the sink and mirror to wash my hands. I ran my fingers through my hair and splashed my face with cool water. The bathroom door creaked open but I paid little attention to who walked in. I could smell the faint scent of mint and tabaco coming from the woman as she entered the stall. I decided I was done in the restroom and walked out. I saw Frank at the counter purchasing twelve decent size duffel bags. I walked towards him, a frown slowly etching my features.

"Hope you don't mind me using your money to pay for these. It's for the money anyway."

Oh, I get it. It probably isn't the smartest thing in the world to have huge ass money bags sitting in the bed of a truck for all the world to see. Not to mention if it were to rain... "It's not like I don't have more." I gave the best smile I could muster but something was eating away at me on the inside. I knew what was bothering me. I just didn't want to admit it. And I knew if I said it aloud that would only make it more true. I felt the wad of cash I stuffed in my pocket moving against my leg as I walked over to a wrack with prepaid cell phones on it. I picked the cheapest one they had, getting only 100 minutes and walked to the register next to the one Frank was at.

The girl behind the counter tried to tell me that I would use 100 minutes in no time at all and that I should get a better plan, but I declined to her dismay. Frank must have found my incessant head shaking funny because he actually cracked a smile. Well what'd ya know, the man does have teeth!

I took my bag from the girl and walked out of the truck stop with Frank and the duffle's. He and I carefully shoved the money into the bags a few miles down the road. Thankfully the roads we were taking seemed to lack in traffic. The sun started to set, and the colder night air began to nip at my human skin. I shivered as we emptied the last of the money into the duffel.

"Should get you coat in the morning. We'll make Chicago by then."

My eyes bugged and my finger froze over the zipper, "Chicago?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes. That's what I said. I've got some friends there. We'll board a jet there and fly to Detroit."

"De- De- Detroit?!" That's where Sean and his family moved from. Shutter frequented there a lot. I slowly stepped off the truck wheel, backing away, keeping my eyes trained on Frank. Please tell me this isn't what I think it is...

"Sarah are you all right?"

My legs carried me safely into the ditch where I then walked backwards a little faster, praying I didn't bust my ass. Frank's face squinted like he really didn't know what was up with me. I couldn't risk that he was playing me. My best, safe, bet was to grab a duffel, hope it was a larger number one and run. I looked at the two bags on the ground closest to me, quickly formulating a plan in my head. God what I wouldn't give for somebody to drive by any second. I knew the chances of me outrunning Frank were slim to none.

Suddenly Frank's hands went to the air and he stepped away from the truck. "I should have explained. I'm not taking you to Shutter. I'm hiding you where they would least expect you to be. The heart to the demonic system. Under Detroit."

Under it? But how could I possibly go under it? "What are you talking about?" I asked quietly.

I could tell Frank was getting annoyed with me and that right there was my clue he really wasn't going to hurt me. "Ever heard of the underworld?" He asked as his eyes took on this spark.

I'd heard of it all right. I've even read about it. When your so bored you'll shoot yourself for something to do at Shutter's, your better off finding a book you don't understand and reading it. I'd found a book in Shutter's wing of the castle that was all about Hell or the Underworld. "Your not seriously taking me to Hell are you?"

That spark appeared again. "That's exactly what I plan on doing with you." I felt like I'd been punched. "But don't worry, you won't be stuck there. You can't stay there if your still technically breathing. No oxygen anyway."

"No oxygen?! Dude I'm still half human!"

He rolled his eyes. "And for a young girl, you sure worry a lot." He paused and glanced at his cell phone. "Do you really think Oscar would have entrusted you to me if he thought I would hurt you? Oscar has been there for me, I owe him. And if this is the favor he finally decided to call in from me, well, I'm not letting him down. I will make sure your safe. Can we go now?" He stalked to the drivers side of the truck and got in, with a slam of the door.

I stood there for a moment. Just one moment. A moment that became one those moment. Those moments where suddenly everything is clear. No smoke and mirrors. No lies or lies to myself. Just me and full clarity. "Sean I need you," I whispered softly to myself. There, I admit it. But, with a deep breath I pivoted on my foot and walked to the truck. He was one of the things I was running from-Part of my danger. I'm not allowed to need him. The clunk of the door shutting seemed symbolic in that way. Almost like shutting myself off. Kind of like saying, while I'm in this truck I'm in defense mode, I'm in I'm not afraid mode. I'm in resort to who you were before you met Sean just add two years of knowledge mode.

I knew Frank could tell I was troubled. But I'm pretty sure he was chalking it up to the fact I'm wanted dead or alive or he just didn't want to know. He doesn't strike me as the get in touch with your feelings kind of guy. Thank god. I really don't want to talk about what's going on with me anyway. If it's just now starting to make sense to me, how the hell am I gonna explain it? I also couldn't get rid of this urge to call Sean and tell him I'm okay. But would he even care if I was? I laid my head on the cool window trying to block out my former much wanted clarity. Now that I had all of my memories back, a lot made sense. I was finally me again, only a part of me still felt different. Like I had D.I.D- Dissociative Identity Disorder. Or Multiple Personality Disorder. I've literally been two different people. I have the personality of two very different people. Me- Sarah was.. or is... or... Ugh! Anyway, she was sweet, innocent, and trying to be strong. Came from a battered past and was doing everything possible to prove she was anything but broken when really, that's what she was. But Maggie... She's tough as nails, curses worse than a sailor, was once physically broken but fixed herself and was confidant. So... who am I now?

So maybe the whole clarity wasn't as clear as I thought. Or it was too clear.

I felt like I was standing in front of a mirror buck naked. Seeing every flaw and imperfection yet also seeing everything I've become. Both as Maggie and Sarah. I could feel the two of them gelling together in my bones becoming one being and living collectively. Yet I could also see the stitching-puckered and inflamed. Small, tiny, parts of each girl not wanting to mesh. The Chris and Sean parts.

"When we make it to Chicago, don't freak. Just stay close to me. My friends... well they owe me. And it's never a good thing to be in my debt. They aren't the kind of Demons your used too. They...on normal circumstances would see you as expendable. So would I. But I'm starting to see what all the hub bub is about with you. Let's just hope these "friends" of mine won't."

I swallowed the lump in my throat that had formed from my thought process. "Are you saying they might just...turn me over to Shutter?"

He looked hard at the road in front of him, grimly. "If they weren't dealing with me? The second they found you. You need to remember Sarah, these Demons are bounty hunters. They're normal Demons. They haven't cared to harness control of themselves. The Linx faction is unlike the most of us. The minority if you will. They're tamed, they wish to live among humans and coexist with them. It's odd that Shutter and Greg are brothers seeing as they're widely different. But... the core of every Demon is the same. You can wear makeup or dress in light colors. But at the end of the day, we're all still naturally evil."

I found my head shaking violently. "Your wrong," I said flatly. "You and every other Demon may believe that... But I've seen real good inside of some Demons. Not including the Linx Faction. You don't know everything."

"It's not really wise of you to anger me, is it?" Slowly I moved my eyes to his face. I found him glaring at me. "Nobody has apparently taught you to bite your tongue. Keeping your thoughts to yourself is something you'll do good to learn."

My jaw set, I could feel acid rising in my throat. I could feel my body coiling, readying my brain to spit verbal fire. "It will never matter what you say or think. If a Demon want's to, they can be good. It's the only thing that would explain you. Why the hell would Oscar know you? Oscar was good, he was kind. A normal Demon as you so eloquently put it-would never have anything to do with a man like him. So tell me Mr. Frank, what do you owe Oscar for?"

"Sleep...". Frank waved his hand over my eyes and that was it.

Everything went black. I felt my body get folded to the side. After that, I don't remember much. I couldn't tell you where I was, or how much time had passed.

"Wakey Wakey..." Some man grunted. My arm got lifted followed by my body. I tried to push away from the man to no avail. I should have known it wouldn't work.

"This is how you want us to repay you? A human?! Eamon we can't babysit that thing!"

"Calm down woman, you'll wake her up."

"Frank what is this?" I heard a sharp intake of air. "She can't be!"

"Shut it!" I knew now Frank was holding me because his voice was closest to me. "You both owe me big. This girl, is nothing even close to what kinds of favors I could have called upon you for. So just let us inside."

More movement. I started counting feet shuffles. A few feet, maybe seven and then Frank laid me down onto a couch I'm assuming because of it plushness.

"Now let's talk deals." I squinted one eye open looking around myself. I was in a small town home living area. A bay window in front of where I was laid, showing the peek of sunrise. I must finally be in Chicago. "I need a jet to fly me and the girl to Detroit. After that, I'll be done with you."

"That's all you want?" A man asked, seriously. "Just the jet?"

"All I need. I need someone to fly it of course but I'm assuming you know that."

"Done. You'll leave in two hours. I'll call to have the jet fueled." The man walked away and only a woman was left standing near the doorway the man just walked out off.

"This better be a short stay." She pointed to me on the couch. "I've heard whispers of that girl around. What are you doin' with her?"

"What'd ya think I'm doin' with her Ruby? Protectin' her?" Frank shot. "I ain't stupid, woman. I know that's a death sentence."

I sucked in a deep breath of air, but covered it by rolling over. How could Frank possibly help me if it meant he'd be killed? Why would he willingly die for a girl he didn't even know? A human at that.

"Well, she better not wake up and see me or Eamon. I don't need her tellin' Shutter we were involved. Or him figuring it out himself."

The other man entered the dim room again. "I'm not sure Shutter is who we should really be fearing. I was just on the phone with my crew and they've gotten a visit from the nephew's of Shutter. Greg's son's are looking for her too." If I was seeing right, it seemed this man feared Greg more than Shutter. He rubbed the back of his neck, "I really don't want both of the Linx brother's on me. Frank, I got you the jet so at the risk of coming off disrespectful, just go."

"As far as I'm concerned we never met," Frank picked me up off the couch and carried me outside to the cold morning. "Acting is a profession you should scratch off your list."

I actually cracked a smile. "Ha ha, very funny." I opened my eyes just as Frank set me in the truck. "So, why are you protecting me if it means you'll get killed?"

Frank slammed the door in my face and quickly got in on his side. "Let's not discuss this."

I crossed my arms, "You avoided me last night by making me sleep, don't even think about doing that again. Is that your ability? Making people sleep? What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like the energizer bunny?" I felt myself bouncing in the seat, my body buzzing.

"It's a side effect of the sleep. Hyperactivity. You'll be fine once we're in the air. The altitude should kick you to normal. Unless your afraid to fly..."

"No. I'm great with flying! Love it! The last time I flew though was weird." I looked around myself quickly. "You wouldn't happen to have some duct tape around here would you?"

"Uh, no. Why?"

"I'd like to tape it over my mouth before I get word vomit."

Again I broke through the hard exterior of Frank and once again saw his pearly whites. Yeah, they actually are white. He laughed hard and shook his head. "It's been a real long time since I've laughed like that."

"Awh, am I growing on you Frank?"

He chuckled, "You just might be kid. You just might be."

I stiffened up when he called me kid. Sure it was a common word but the only person to ever call me that was Oscar. I frowned and looked out the window. "Would you at least tell me how you and Oscar met?"

Frank fell silent and I heard the volume on the radio go down. "Oz is my cousin. It's a really complicated family line but to answer that question I'm sure just popped up in your head, No. Oscar was not a Demon. He and JJ were human. Well JJ was.... Anyway, Ozzy saved my ass with a lot of human problems. Law trouble, things like that. To you and your town, he may have been a simple man, but he was smart. Smart in a lot of ways no ordinary human usually is. But like I said, I owed him."

"Am I ever gonna find out what Oz did for you that you would risk your life for me?"

Frank tapped the wheel for a few moments and then looked over at me. "Sarah, there is so much to our world that you don't know. You were once so quick to jump into it without knowing everything, I hope you think harder about it the next time the option is there for you. A person like you... A girl like you doesn't belong being a Demon."

"What are you talking about?" Why does it feel like I'm asking him this a lot?

"I'm talking about the fact that you need to find yourself a nice human boy. It's not too late for you yet, don't be so quick to toss your life away for this life style."

"Who are you to say what I need and what I don't? I know what I want and I know who I need."

"And who might that be?"

I opened my mouth to answer him quickly but found I couldn't decide which name to say. And that was a big problem. How could I not know who my heart belonged too? How could I not know who I wanted to spend every day of forever with? How on God's green earth could I not be sure, absolutely positive who I loved?! I smacked myself in the face shaking my head. "How long before we're to the airport?"

"Two seconds." Frank pointed to a small hub about one-hundred yards in front of us. "Private port. This is why I needed the favor to come from Eamon."

I nodded, "I see. Well, then... let's get flying to Detroit."

Frank pulled the S10 through the sliding gates right up to a rather large jet if you asked me. There was four men in orange vests walking around the jet, I assume making sure it was safe or something. Frank opened his door, took a deep breath and quickly slammed it shut. His eyes shifted to black and a growl escaped his mouth. My heart doubled timed, pounding, thumping to the point my vision had a pulse. No. This can't be. How? I can't be taken again. Suddenly my breathing joined my heart rate and I found I couldn't even keep myself calm. Frank waved his hand over my eyes much like he had before, but I stopped him. "Don't. If this get's ugly I need to at least be able to try and fight for myself." In the Demonic state he was in, simple English was difficult. So when he grunted I took that as an agreement. "Let's just pretend we don't know and board the jet. Maybe it's only because they work for Eamon and Ruby."

Slowly, Frank's eyes shifted to a pale green. His body was fighting to stay in this form but he controlled it. "Okay, I'll get the bags, you just stay by me. Got it? Don't run off don't even say a word to them. If they speak to you, just nod."

I nodded my head quickly and got out as soon as Frank did. I felt a slight tug in my chest but I chalked it up to the stress and missing Sean. God, what I wouldn't give to just be able to hear his voice. Frank handed me two of the bags while he piled the other ten on himself. Together we walked to the jet. Frank nodded once in a business gesture to one of the orange vested men. They all had dark sunglasses on and baseball caps. It was hard to make out any of their faces. The tug in my chest was getting worse and I knew it had to be because I was getting farther away from Sean. One of the men pulled down the stairs for Frank and I. I kept my eyes low, trying to keep myself in check. It was just that my whole being was aching. I needed Sean. Once we stepped onto the jet, I sat down softly on one of the light leather couches. I let out a humorless laugh. "I have my answer," I shook my head for the umpteenth time today. "I've always known." Frank paid little to no attention to my mumblings. I'm pretty sure he thought I was getting to the beginning stages of insanity.

"Looks like take off will be in about fifteen minutes." Frank paused looking at me hard. He sat himself on the coffee table in front of me. "Sarah, are you sure this is what you need to do? I realize I didn't give you another option, but I don't want you to feel backed into a corner. Hell is not a pretty place. You'll feel horrible, and wish you were dead. You'll be safe, but you'll be miserable."

I set my face in a very serious expression. "If this is the only way, then I'm sure. But if you've thought of any other option, I'm open to new ideas."

He smiled again, "Any chance you'd call that boyfriend of yours and ask for his help?"

My expression faltered, "No. I'm almost positive he want's nothing to do with me right now. See I lied, big time to him. And I knew it was stupid but it made him so happy. And I knew that somewhere some part of me loved him so I didn't see the harm in the lie." I wrung my fingers, "I know now it was one of the biggest mistakes I've made in a long time."

"Kid," Frank placed his hand on my right shoulder. "If there's a pull between you and this boyfriend, your forgiven."

I shook my head, tears welling. "You don't know what I lied about. And how can you be encouraging me and him now? Just a few minutes ago you were trying to make me think loving Sean is the worst thing I could ever do."

"I know. But I had to try. It's something I wish somebody had done for me. Now, tell me what you lied about."

"I never pegged you for the "talk about your feeling's" type." He raised his eyebrow at me. "When I was with Shutter, I had brain damage. I remembered nothing prior to my waking. Shutter had me for two years and in those two years he fed me lie after lie about a false past. I went two years with no reminders of who I really was. The longer you go without remembering the less likely you are to ever regain your memories. When Sean finally got me back I was honest. It was impossible then to even think of lying to them away. But as I got to know Sean I felt a old part of me waking up. A part of me I had no idea was ever there. My ability is to touch things and see it's past. So I started in their house, picking up visions of me and things like that. So I had my memories, but it just felt like I'd watched a movie and remembered the highlights. They weren't my memories. Just film strips of my former life. But I had them. And I did everything I could to make them become real to me. So when I saw how happy it made Sean to have me tell him I remembered one small thing I knew if I told him I remembered everything, he'd be so incredibly happy. And that's all I wanted to do. Make him happy. So I lied. I told the worst possible lie I could ever tell." I took a deep breath and held my chest. The pain was getting worse. "But then I started feeling for Sean the way the girl in the visions did. I loved him. I knew I did. I knew I'd do anything for him. So it became no battle to kiss him and want him. Until a few days ago it seemed I was getting away with it. I was wrong to think I ever could." I figured it best to leave out the newly found relation between Chris and Sean out. "Sean knew that while I was the other girl, the girl Shutter invented, that I fell for another Demon. Chris. Chris came to "rescue" me, so he thought. He had no idea I had been rescued. But two days ago Sean called me out on everything. He flipped out on me, rightfully so, but I was scared. I knew I'd hurt him deeply so I ran. The look in his eyes was horrible, had I no run, I'm really not sure what he would have done to me." I stood up, serving my hands around the jet. "So here I am. On the run from Shutter and the one person I truly love. Oh, and I finally have all of my memories back, they came back when Sean was upset with me." Frank just sat there starring at me. His eyes didn't even blink. I plopped back down on the couch. "Now you know the big soap opera story."

Finally he blew out a breath and rubbed his eyes. "I want to say I'm sorry but none of that was my doing nor would it fix anything. All I can do is have sympathy. And say that I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that. I knew when we met you'd obviously been through a lot but it never hit me that such a pure spirit was inside of you 'till just a few hours ago. That's why this all makes so much more sense to me now. Shutter not only knows that if you were to be made full you'd be extremely strong but your life force it self would be enchanting. To be in the same room as you once your a Demon would make even the worst of us feel genuine happiness." He held his neck in his hand, "So it's safe to assume your pull to the Linx boy is stronger than any pull known to Demon. Correct?"

"Yeah, Sean and I have this connection that's absolutely... perfect" I smiled thinking about how I feel when I'm with him. "Not many aspects of my life have ever been perfect. But Sean and I... pull or no pull he and I would have found each other. I need him like air. He may not need me as badly but he needs me enough."

"Oh I think he needs you more than you know."

"What are you-?"

The cabin door slid open and Sean walked out. In the back of my head, I knew I should have seen this one coming. He grinned at me, walking towards me. "I'll give you two some privacy..." Frank walked down the stairs, slowly drifting out of sight.

I wasn't sure what was going on. Was I dreaming? Was this how I was going to die? I'd die happy knowing that he was the last thing I saw, but still, I'm not ready to die! I took small steps backwards, quickly finding that my back collided with a wall. Damn jet. "Look I'm-"

"Shh," Sean shook his head, cupping the side of my face. "Don't you dare say your sorry. Your in this because of me. Your willing to go to Hell to escape from me. I'm the one who should apologize. I never thought you'd go this far though, I must admit." He sighed, kissing my forehead, "Sarah, I'm so sorry I put you in this position. To think you were left no other choice I-"

I put my finger to his lips, "I get it." I pressed my face to his chest taking a much needed deep breath, smelling him. Instantly I felt calm, all my senses tingling and relaxed. "Kiss me?" I almost begged.

Sean lifted my chin, tilting my face to his and closed the small gap between us. I felt all of my insides clench and scream that this was finally how it was meant to be. Me and him. Together. He tried to keep the kiss gentle and sweet but my body was getting a mind of her own. I threw my arms around his neck, weaving my fingers through his soft silky strands of hair pulling yet pushing. I felt his tongue lick my lower lip so I opened my mouth and mewed at the sensation. Sean's hands grabbed my legs, lifting me up and wrapping them around his waist. I felt his hands grip my hips as his lips trailed down to my neck and sucked. Hard. "I love you Sean. Ung, I love you so much. Don't...stop." I started finding that speaking simple words was next to impossible.

"I won't, I won't. I love you too." His left hand fell away from my right hip and somehow moved the wall behind me. I realized the wall was a door. He shut, still holding me tightly against his body while I kissed, licked, and nipped anywhere I possibly could. Sean walked us both and I felt myself be lowered onto a bed. My blood was coursing through my body at top speed, how my brain could function and comprehend what was going on around me was beyond my comprehension. But my entire body felt like I was in one of those magic houses with the static electricity balls, the ones where you touch them and your hair stands up, your whole body feels lighter and your buzzing. That's how I felt, just triple the effects.

I stilled my movements and pressed my forehead to Sean's telling him. Now. My fingers went to the buttons on his black shirt-undoing them a carefully as I could. Sean watched my face as I did this, I think making sure I was sure. Finally I got the last button and I pushed the light material over his muscle bound shoulders. My fingers lightly danced over the plains in his chest, bringing me to kiss him because he was just to beautiful. He gripped the bottom of my t-shirt and lifted it over my head. Almost instantly his mouth latched onto my bare stomach, kissing my rib cage and creating a circle of kisses around my naval. Painfully slowly he moved up my sternum to my neck and finally to my lips. I moved my fingers next to the button of his jeans groaning internally that it was those jeans with no zipper just six buttons. Hot. But it would take longer. As I did this, Sean lifted my hips and made quick work of my jeans, before I knew it they were gone. His mouth sucked on my ear lobe, freezing my movements because it felt so good. His hands moved away from me and he took his jeans off himself. His tight black boxer briefs clung to his perfectly toned legs. He moved over my body, strateling me with his knees on either side. I wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him hard and long. While I was in this position Sean's hand moved to my back and unhooked my bra. He slowly removed it from me, and gave equal attention to each breast. I moaned in joy, while my legs followed my arms in wrapping around him.

Sean's hips were already slightly rocking so I knew it was close to happening. I swept my fingers down his sides-feeling the muscles clench at my touch- I hooked my fingers in the waist band and slowly pulled them down. Sean ducked his head to my neck, groaning and kissing there. My back arched by itself, pressing my bare self to him. Warmth. God he was warm. Suddenly my underwear was gone and he plunged one finger inside of me. I gasped but didn't feel pain. Slowly I rocked against his hand and he inserted another finger. But it wasn't his fingers that I wanted.

I'd asked Kristin what to expect on my first time. She said there would be pain but that the pleasure would far out weigh it. I only hoped she was right. I reached down, grabbing Sean in my hands-stroking until I felt his body shaking. I opened my eyes looking up into his. There was conflict and questions in his eyes. "I love you. I need you. I want you. Please make me yours forever."

His eyes eased slightly and he kissed me. It was then I felt his fingers disappear and something much harder and solid take their place. I sucked in a deep breath trying to calm myself. Sean took my hands holding them by my head and intertwining our fingers. "I love you Sarah. More than anything in this word-I love you. Never forget that." And with those words, Sean pushed inside of me, fully sheathing himself. I gasped and clenched my jaw, my eyes slamming shut to hold off my tears. The pain was there, but as Sean began to move in and out of me, it was the heat I couldn't get over. Nobody told me there would be unbearable heat. Yet, though there was pain and ungodly heat, I wanted more. I wanted all of him, everything he could give me.

"More..." I begged squeezing his hands tightly in mine. Sean picked up his speed, resting his head on my shoulder, kissing over and over. I think he may have even been apologizing to me. Suddenly all of the pain lessened and extreme pleasure overwhelmed me. "Oh god." I breathed. "I love you." It felt like there was a coil in my stomach that was tightening and pulsating. Before I could freak out over what it was, it let go and the most amazing, exciting, yet calming feeling washed through my body. Sean pushed in and out of me a few more times before I felt him throb and then quickly jerk out of me. The loss of him inside me was painful. I winced and then felt empty without him. Tears fell over my eyes. I heard the tear of fabric and then Sean crawled next to me, pulling my naked body in his arms. I clawed at his chest telling him I loved him in my head.

"Shh. Shh. It's okay. I've got you. I love you so much baby."

I wiped at my eyes as Sean leaned over he and I, pulling the blankets over the both of us. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying."

"It's okay, love. Cry all you want. Your safe." He kissed my face.

I felt the jet move and jerked my head up off of Sean's chest. "Whats going on?"

"We're taking off." he tucked some hair behind me ear, "Jason, Gabe, Dylan, Frank, and... Chris are all in the other room."

"Chris?" I asked in disbelief. I knew the second his name left my mouth I should have been careful of how I said his name. I think there was a little too much hope in my voice.

Sean clenched his jaw but tried to ignore it. "Yes. I needed him to help find you. As much as it pains me to admit it, he does know you a bit better than I do."

"But that's not really true!" I defended. "You know me! I mean yes, I'm a little different but I'm still me. Please Sean don't-"

Sean silenced me with a deep kiss, holding my head gently. "Don't worry. I know who you are," He whispered softly. He gave me one small kiss again and held me tightly.

"A little while ago, not even I knew who I was. I do now though. I know exactly who I am." I couldn't help but feel a little smug about that. "I'm yours. All yours. And that's all I ever need or want to be. Just yours."