"Emma and Joshua-"

"What!?" I hadn't meant to scream it out but, well, I had. But seriously, Joshua? Why? Why would Ms. Williams do that? Why?

"Is there a problem, Miss. Robinson?" She said strictly.

I sighed, slouching in my seat, "No, Ms. Williams."

She nodded once, "Good." And went back to calling out partners for the project.

I glared in Joshua's direction and he looked back at me and rolled his eyes.

Sorry to burst your bubble, buddy, but I'm not so thrilled about this either. I scowled at him and stood with the class as they shifted around to meet with their problems. I took my stuff and went over to him, sitting at the now empty desk beside him.

I huffed, "Okay. So what are we going to do?"

"About the project?"

I rolled my eyes, "What else?"

"Well, we could try to find a way to get new partners."

I stared at him then said, monotonously, "What?"

He sighed, exasperated, "Whatever," He leaned over and plucked the assignment sheet from my desk, "So whom are we going to write the report on?"

I looked at the sheet in his hands, "Elizabeth the Second?"

He nodded, "Yeah sure, I'll do the first part, you do the second, then we put them together."

I glared at him again, "Sure thing, oh master."

He smirked, "It's nothing, pumpkin."

"Oh my god, you are such a-"

The bell interrupted me, ironically. And I smirked at how fitting it was. I stood, took my sheet back and my other things, and left without saying another word to him.

The rest of the day went by well; Joshua wasn't in any of my other classes except for math, which I had at the end of the day.

I made sure to sit as far from him as possible. After class though, he caught up to me.

"So my house, or yours?"

I raised my eyebrows at him, "What?"

"Well we have to do the project."

I sighed, "Yeah. Fine. Yours?"

He shrugged, "Okay, I'll meet you out front. Don't take too long."

I just rolled my eyes and walked away from him.

"Finally." He said sarcastically when I slammed the door behind me, setting my book bag down at my feet in the passenger seat of his Toyota.

"Yeah, whatever, just go."

He smiled annoyingly and pulled out of the school parking lot, the car moving slowly due to the large amount of students at our school.

I sighed, leaning back in the seat. We didn't say anything for a while and then he said, "Emma-"

"What?" My voice surprisingly didn't come out mean like I'd meant it to, it came out, eager. Annoyingly so. I frowned and looked out the window. He was frowning slightly too, and looking at me curiously. I looked back at him, "Stop that." I snapped.

He smiled lightly, "Just thought you sounded less… hostile is all."

"Yeah well, don't get used to it."

"Jeez, Em, come on. Stop being pissy. You PMSing or something?"

I ground my teeth together. "Fuck you. And don't call me that."

"Awe well aren't we all jolly."

"So jolly." I agreed sarcastically.

Joshua's youngest sister was about four years old at the time I met her, six years ago. I had helped out at her daycare some and had had to bring her home on several occasions, and that's how I'd met Georgina her five year old sister, and in turn Joshua. I'd babysat the girls a whole lot and Joshua and I had been fairly nice to each other at first- okay, lie. We'd become great friends, to the point where my babysitting nights were looked forward to more then necessary. We'd spend nights talking after the girls were in bed. His parents didn't make him babysit because he always told them there might be a chance he had to go out. He didn't want to be 'locked up'.

Things had gone wryly though; about the time we both started our third year of high school. Somehow, things fell out when I started dating Michael Haginans. Okay, I'll admit, he was the jock boy at school- he was also smart and funny and sweet though. Joshua had gotten mad about the whole thing and our friendship had started to dwindle some, to the point where we never talked- and from there, for some odd reason, we became… well, enemies. I was heartbroken at first, because I'd secretly had a crush on Joshua for so long, but then, he never looked heartbroken himself and I tried my best to hurt him like he hurt me. Childish I know, and in fact, it got me nowhere but to this point, where we didn't talk but rather spat, didn't look, but we glared, didn't smile, but smirked. It was nothing like what we used to be.

Joshua had silky dark brown hair that was outgrown from being short-cropped. It swept in his eyes and he usually had to brush it aside so people could see his deep green eyes. He had soft looking lips that turned into the most beautiful smiles- not that I'd seen it directed at me in too long to think about without sobbing my heart out- and a perfect nose. He was toned, not buff –good cause that was a turn off for me- but had the most amazing abs- they were definitely defined, just not overly to make you cringe and amazing arms. He was tall and tan and damn well, you could pretty much say he was gorgeous. That's definitely what all the girls at school said.

As we parked in the driveway of his house I looked up at it, realizing just how long it had been since I'd been here. I sighed, getting out of the car, pulling my bag over my shoulder. I trudged slowly behind him.

When her opened the door a girl, about ten years old was standing there. She had dark chocolate curls, the same color as mine, though mine were locks, and a cute little button nose and huge green eyes like Joshua's. She was in a cute little a-line dress and as soon as she saw me she squealed and ran to hug me tight. "Emma!!"

I smiled, realizing how much I'd missed the girls. I set her back to take a look at her, "Oh my god, Penny, you have grown so much!"

She nodded proudly, "I know. You should see Mariah-" With that she shouted up the stairs, "Maria! Guess who's here!"

A girl slightly taller than Penelopy stood at the top of the stairs. As soon as she saw me she ran down, squealing like her little sister and threw herself at me. I laughed, holding them both close to me. Maria looked practically identical to Penny, except her hair was wavy rather then curly, and slightly a lighter shade of brown.

We pulled away and I straightened up, looking up at Joshua for a moment. He was looking at us with a strange expression, but when he saw me looking he immediately turned away and threw his keys on the coffee table at the entrance. I sighed but smiled back down at the girls.

"We've missed you so much, Emma- Why haven't you come to see us?" Maria asked, and they both pouted.

I wracked my brain for a possible response that didn't go like Well you see, your brother and I now hate each other's guts.

Luckily, Joshua said in a low voice, "She has things to do too you know. She hangs out with her friends."

The girls looked puzzled and Penny spoke up, "Aren't you two friends?"

I smiled at her, "Of course we are, things are just hectic now. School's tougher." I had to tell the little lie about us being friends, but I didn't want the girls sad- and I knew they would be. They looked at me, eyebrows furrowed, but nodded.

I turned to Joshua at an angle so they couldn't see my expression as I let all emotion go from my face and I said, "Shall we get to work?"

He seemed in a trance of sorts and I flicked his arm lightly, "Hey!" He jumped a little, "What the f-" He glanced at the girls who were looking at him expectantly and grumbled, "Let's go."

I waved to the girls and we headed upstairs to Joshua's room. It had changed since I'd last seen it.

It now had a TV in one corner and the bed was huge compared to the kid one he used to have. The desk now had a Mac on it and it wasn't as messy as it always used to be.

I dropped my bag on the floor beside the door and just stood there. He shut the door behind him and looked at me briefly before sitting at his desk and turning on the computer.

"Um…" I mumbled. It felt odd being here again. It brought back memories about when we were friends and against my best attempts, yes, it brought an aching to my heart.

He turned and cocked an eyebrow, "What?"

I looked down at my laced hands. Shit, I looked like the twelve-year-old girl he used to know.

When I glanced up again he had again a funny look on his face.

He sighed, exasperated, and instantly he had a hard look on his face again. "Come on." He grumbled, turning back to the computer.

I nodded and pulled up a chair beside him, trying to keep as far as possible while still seeing the screen. We worked for about an hour and a half when I leaned back, exasperated, "No more!" I whined.

He gave me an amused look, "What? Hungry?"

I nodded, slightly surprised he still knew me so well.

He chuckled and stood. I followed suit and we headed down stairs.

There, he looked through the fridge and then closed it, taking out some milk. He poured two glasses and then went to the pantry, coming back with a box of those amazing, chewy cookies.

I knew my face must have lit up like a little kid and I couldn't help the squeal when I saw the cookies. He smirked, amused, and placed them on the table. I immediately sat in front of them and he placed one of the glasses in front of me. He sat opposite me with his own milk glass and looked at me for a couple minutes as I shoveled cookies into my milk then into my mouth, eating only a few himself.

After a while though I looked up guiltily, swallowing down the rest of the cookie with the milk. "Um… I'm sorry…"

He laughed, "That's okay." I was surprised he was genuinely laughing.

"They were yummy though…" I offered hopefully.

He waved a hand, "It's okay. I know you love them."

I giggled and blushed at the sound. I hadn't giggled in a long time.

He looked at me curiously but then he seemed to realize something and abruptly looked away, his jaw set.

"Uh- Josh..uah?" I'd almost called him just Josh- as weird as it sounds, only his best friends call him that. I used to call him that. Not anymore.

"Yeah?" His eyes were hard as he turned to me.

"You…" I was slightly frightened by his sudden change back to how he acted at school and instantly realized. I narrowed my eyes at him and stood. I rinsed out my glass and put it in the dishwasher as I used to do all the time, put away the cookies and mumbled a 'thanks' before going upstairs.

I started shoveling my things into my bag. I had to get out of here. I was angry. Of course we couldn't let things go- I'd let myself go. I'd started acting like I used to act with him, and he had too and now we had to put on the hard masks again. We shouldn't have…

Well why? That little voice asked me.

Because… because we hate each other.

Why the hell do you hate him?

Because he hates me.

And so now you hate him.

So it seems.

You're a damn fool.

And you need to shut the fuck up.

Ugh, I was talking to myself now. "Stupid…" I mumbled, shoving the last of my books in my bag. I turned around, only to find myself face to face with Josh.

"Where are you going?" His eyes, somehow, managed to show concern and irritation at the same time. How the hell did he manage that?

"Home." I stated simply, trying to move past him, but he caught my wrist.

"We were working."

I snatched my hand back, "Yeah but damn it, I forgot how much you annoyed me and I can only stand to be around you so much." I snapped.

He looked hurt for about a millisecond before he glared at me, "I'm not doing all the work by myself."

"Fine. Send me my part. I'll finish it."

"What!? You're not-"

"I am perfectly serious."

"Stop."

I'd turned away but now I looked back and he was looking at me pleadingly, "Please, Emma. Don't leave yet."

I turned, gaping at him. "What!?" I screeched. "You have to be fucking kidding me!"

His voice dropped low, "My sisters are home damn it. And so is their nanny."

My mouth instantly snapped shut and I stepped forward towards him and our noses were almost touching. I said in a low whisper, "You- you cannot go back to your old self that I damn well loved and then back again to this," I gestured at him, "And expect me to stay okay with it."

His eyes were wide, "Wh-what?"

"What didn't you understand?"

"You-"

I narrowed my eyes and pushed him. Anger flared in his eyes and he grabbed my wrists as I reached up to do the gesture again. "Stop it, damn it, Emma."

I growled and tried my best to tackle him down, which was hard, and I had to use my body, since he held my wrists tight. I gritted my teeth and didn't realize the tears were falling down my face steadily until a sob broke free of my throat without permission.

I gasped, feeling ashamed of myself for breaking down, and all the sudden, I was pulled into his chest, and I was crying uncontrollably onto his shirt, making it wet.

I grasped at it, the intention to pull away in mind, but instead I was pulling myself as close as I possibly could to him.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck" I whimpered through my crying.

His hand was stroking my hair and I squeezed my eyes shut. I calmed down after a couple of minutes and I tried to pull away but he held me to him. I was surprised and look up to see that his eyes were closed and there were the traces of three or four tears on his cheeks. I hadn't even realized he was crying.

I reached up automatically to brush them away and his eyes opened. They were so full of hurt, regret and sadness that more tears escaped my eyes, "D-don't cry." I said, my hand resting on his cheek. I felt him lean into my touch and his eyes closed again, his bottom lip quivering slightly.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't see him crying. I didn't want him to cry. It broke my heart to see it. And so I did the only thing that came to mind.

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his.

He froze instantly, going completely still. But the damage was already done, and now that I'd felt his lips, I couldn't pull away. In fact, I parted his lips slightly with my own and sucked lightly on his bottom lip.

A small moan escaped his lips, which I completely did not expect but I took this to my advantage and managed to enter my tongue into his mouth, exploring every part of it I could.

He seemed to snap out of his daze and he did something I wholly did not expect- he kissed me back.

My arms circled his neck and his my waist and he pulled me close, closer then we'd been.

Unfortunately, we were both humans and the need for oxygen soon made itself clear and we pulled away, both breathing heavy.

After we'd regained our breath some he tilted my chin up so I was looking at him and he whispered, "I'm sorry, Emma. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, "No." My voice was hoarse, "No, I am sorry…" I buried my face in his chest, "I've missed you so much, Josh." I smiled. I couldn't help it; I'd just called him by his nickname though. I had countless times, since we were so little- I had called him that ever since we'd become best friends and it felt so good on my lips that I repeated it under my breath, "Josh."

"I've missed you too. So much." He nuzzled my shoulder, "I'm never letting you go."

"Good." I murmured, kissing his chest before turning his head slightly so I could kiss his mouth again.

Something struck me then.

"I love you." I said against his lips.

He pulled away and looked at me but I just smiled. I did. That's why it had hurt all the more when we'd stopped being friends, because I had not only lost my best friend, but I had lost the boy I loved. And it also explained so much more, like why it always felt strange when I was dating another guy, or when I was dating the guy and I hung around Josh- I'd always felt like I had been somehow betraying Josh. That was why I'd thought I'd hated him so much- there really was such a thin line between love and hate. Now it made sense and my heart seemed to swell inside me. My mind felt at ease all the sudden and I felt completely relieved. It felt perfect saying those words to him. It felt right.

He looked at me in wonder for a moment and then a wide smile broke out across his face, "I love you too, Emma."

My smile faltered, "Wait- I mean." I took a deep breath, "I mean I'm in love with you, Josh. I love you. I'm in love with you." Wow, it felt so perfect against my lips.

His smile became even wider, "I'm in love with you, Emma. I have been for so long."

Our lips crashed together once again and I melted into him, feeling so whole like I hadn't in a long time.

And my heart felt like it was already healed, and if not fully- soon, I knew, it would be.