insecurity blanket

i have woven an insecurity blanket
out of comfort, out of stupidity
out of the seamless and dullest of excuses.
i crafted my own fear into a bold design
and all the worry fell into place.

my insecurity blanket fights all the wrong away
it leaves me with what i've known
and what won't change
swallows me into a world black and white
empty
choking
fearful
but real.

all those "can't"s and impossibilities
quick on my bitten tongue
are sewn tight with threads
and throw themselves forth
because the variables involved in change are tricks
always get the best
of such skeptical souls as i

i wear this
insecurity blanket
and let myself sleep
thoughtless, spinning
existing
smiling, knowing
i only live these uncertainties
securely


[funfact; insecurty blanket is actually the name of my journal.]