Every year in every high school and college there is a graduation ceremony. You've reached an end but also a beginning. Just watching part of a ceremony gives me a weepy ache. Even if I hadn't known many of the seniors their faces have become familiar everyday occurrences for the past two years. And now when I go back to school next fall those familiar faces will be gone and probably never to be seen again, or at least not for a long while.
That weepy ache is a combination of sadness and yearning. Of anticipation and fright. Sadness for seeing those leave. Yearning for them back. Anticipating for my time to come. Fright...for something ending. To being thrust into the real world.
It'll be especially hard next spring for the new seniors to graduate. I know so many and most are very good friends of mine. I know I'll cry. Just imagining them not being there when I go back to school is just unbelievable.
I'm just scared. Scared beyond belief. I don't want to grow up. I just want to stay in my tiny high school with all my friends. I just want to live in my room with my gigantic bed and walls covered in rows of books and pictures! But I know that's not possible. I want everything to stay the same but at the same time I want everything to change. I'm so unbelievably confused and scared I don't know what to do with myself.
I just need to breathe and think. Breathe and think....close my eyes and breathe and think...