when i was a boy i drew poetry on cardboard
and faces on walls with sixty-four crayons, because
everything should be beautiful and no one should have to die
yeah no one should have to die, and when i was a boy
i thought the sky was infinite and oxygen had a colour
and shades of blue tasted like strawberry pie
because someday i knew i'd be able to fly,
because someday i'd be able to fly.

when i was a boy i scribbled dark thoughts on paper
and wrote my name backwards when everything went wrong
and if nothing seemed to fit, and when i was a boy
if songs didn't sound right and words didn't taste right i
pushed my heart into a space beyond the clouds and dreamed
pink oceans and purple glitter rainbows and laughed plastic
like it didn't matter (and) they stared, they stared but
it was okay because i didn't care, i didn't care
yeah i'm sure i knew i never cared.

when i was a boy i wished happiness on shooting stars
and i made fistfuls of dandelions to soothe the scars;
i decried all the lies of those sidewalk-chalk smilies
and chaos, i was her lover, but she didn't come to see me
often so i'd pour myself out into the crumpled horizon
just to see what it felt like to see everything from above
but it was never much better, so i fell in love with fantasy,
i fell in love with denial and the idea of infinity, yeah
i fell in love with fantasy and a world of make-believe until
no one could pull me out anymore.

when i was a boy, when i was a child
i questioned the obvious and asked for definitions for
things we can't define, like grief and time, like hope and
hatred and falling in love, like learning to stay alive and
how to fall in love. when i was a boy, when i was a
girl i guess loneliness didn't taste like barbed wire and fear,
and i didn't wonder how the hell i'd got here because
it was okay not to know, it was okay to have nowhere to go
and i wasn't always stuck between the hallway and the door.
but you know (and i think i finally know), i'm not a boy or a girl