You Know You're A FanFiction Author When

Part One

Author's Note: I saw a couple of threads for this and decided to combine them into one. These are only the ones that apply to me, though; sorry. My comments will be in italics.

Your school notebooks are not filled with notes, but with pages upon pages of fanfiction. I'm so guilty of this one; I have 500 binder sheets of fanfics in my binder, yet can never spare a piece to write homework on.

You worship the Auto-Complete function on OpenOffice. Moreover, it is chock-full of weird words that only fanfiction authors would use :)

You can't see why they call them 'editors', not 'betas'.

Your best friend wants to strangle you because most of those pages are all different fics that she wants to know what happens in. My friends have mostly given up on reading my stuff, though.

You hope no one sees your Google search history because of some of the odd things you've researched for fics. Oh, yeah. :)

Response to above: Heehee! Yep. No one is allowed to use my computer without my supervision, lest they believe I'm a pregnant alpine ranger linguist who is in the process of converting to Judaism. :)

You see certain names when reading books or whatever, and you immediately think of well-known characters from fics you love.

Your computer desk is weighed down by at least a ream of paper from old stories, or stories in progress.

Something happens to you or someone else and you automatically file it away for later use in a fic.

OpenOffice is the most used program on your computer. Totally, next to Gmail, which I use to see if anyone has reviewed/posted new stuff.

You will space out in the middle of a conversation because of an idea for a fic. Oh, this has happened to me SO many times it's barely even funny anymore.

You take what is going on at work or in your life and disguise it as a fic. I think this is the one that I'm most guilty of. My fanfics and most definitely my author's notes are pretty much a diary.

You end up with 37 beginnings of stories on your computer and have no time to finish any of them. This is me most definitely.

You allow your life to become dominated by updates and challenges.

Your default reaction to red squiggly lines is to 'Add to Dictionary'. Yuppers.

The barista at the coffee shop reads over your shoulder.

Your OC is attracted to another character and you get jealous.

You're in the middle of doing something (like a conversation) and a great humor dialogue/scene idea hits you and you start laughing really hard. The people around you ask what is wrong and you start to explain only to end with "Oh, nevermind. You wouldn't get it." Most of my friends stopped talking to me because of this.

You get confused whether something is from an official book or whether it came from a fanfic.

After spending eight hours at school, the first thing you do when you get home is get back on the computer to see if you have any responses to your latest post.

You wake up in the morning and immediately wonder if you need to update any stories today.

Friends or family ask you what you did last night, and you lie and say something else when you actually spent all evening working on or reading fanfics.

You have more than three fanfics open in your word processor at once. Always.

You're somewhere important and the only thing on your mind is rushing home to see if you got anymore reviews for the story you posted that morning.

You have a really cool dream, and your first thought upon waking up is to write it down so that you can turn it into a plot for a fic.

When you lie in bed at night writing out your next [story] in your head.

Every time you see an interesting name, you write it down and keep it to use for you next OC.

When you annoy your friends asking, "How does that line work? Should I reword it?"

You create a separate email so that all your FF.N emails can be viewed more easily.

All you family and friends know if they interrupt you while you're writing they risk losing their head. ( I can get very cranky if someone breaks in while I'm working on my fics.)

You have at least five plot ideas running through your head right now.

When you read a novel, you spend most of your time picking it apart, imagining how a fanfic author could have written it so much better. Sigh. REAL authors. Think they're so much better than us when it's really the opposite.

You take up martial arts just so you can get your fight scenes down right.

You learned Italian and French and a bunch of other languages just so you could include dialogue in your fanfics.

When your computer crashes and you discover your fanfics have all been lost, you spend the next few weeks in counseling. This has never happened to me in particular, but I just know that it would be like that if it did.

Anyways, that's it. I'll post more if I see them. I mean, if people want me to.