Wow, I'm just falling off the ball. This took forever to update. Forgive me?

Chapter Two: How Do You Talk To An Angel?

"You aren't going to sit here and tell me that Satan is actually 'a pretty cool dude'. He's fucking Satan! There is no way!"

Dean shakes his head, his back still to me as he starts cooking. Why, I don't know. I didn't think we needed to eat, considering he's the Grim Reaper and I'm… well, dead. But according to him, it's nice to eat, and he likes it, so in his house, we eat. I'm not complaining, because he's had his back to me for the last fifteen minutes, showing off that delicious ass of his. I can't believe people aren't lining up to die. Then again, they aren't living with him, and they don't get the delightful chance of seeing him prancing about with little to no clothes on.

Okay, I guess boxers and a t-shirt are a little too much to be considered 'little to none', but with my imagination they might as well be. He's got a kickin' body, even though the skeleton hand is kind of, well, a turn-off. He turns around, putting said skeleton hand on his hip and looking at me. "He is. He's a nice guy, if arrogant, and he's a fantastic lay."

I shake my head, exasperated. "Of course he's a fantastic lay! He's Satan. That's his area of expertise. I'm sure if he had a résumé, that would be like, the second thing on there, right beneath 'Ruler of Hell'."

Dean shakes his head and leaves whatever he's cooking on the stove, making his way over to me with swinging hips and put his hands on the table, leaning over it so he's seriously an inch from my face. He smirks, licking his lips rather sexily and drawing my attention to his perfect mouth. My breathing gets a bit more difficult and he grins. "You know what I think, Vegas?"

He's decided to start calling me Vegas because my name's Nevada and… honestly, if I'm fucking explaining that, why are you still here? I turn my attention on more important things, like the way he juts his right hip out like that while he's standing and how he's chewing on his lower lip. I shake my head, totally entranced. "Huh?" I manage to get out, sounding like a total idiot, and his smirk only grows before his fleshy hand is on my neck, his thumb running small circles all over my neck and cheek.

"I think you're jealous. I think that you envy Luci because thousands of years ago, I was this innocent little asexual being and then big bad Lucifer came along and fucked my brains out." He leans in, fucking crawling on the table and pushing me back in my seat, and I, with my insane amount of intelligence, make a noise that could be of protest but could just as easily be translated as 'oh, god, yes, take me now'. He continues, his back arched like some lewd slut and I can't say I'm not enjoying this. "I think that you wanted to be the one who turned me from paying no attention to anyone to being profoundly skilled in the bedroom."

Dean gets a little closer, his human arm sliding around the back of my neck and pulling me closer, his skeletal hand keeping him held up on the table. He runs his tongue from the crux of my neck and collarbone up to my jaw, kissing along there softly and murmuring, "And furthermore, I believe that you're resentful that Luci was the one to make me like I am now: absolutely no interest in sex with other men. Am I right, Vegas?"

My Adam's apple works furiously and I somehow manage to shake my head, even though he's nibbling my lower lip now, blue eyes locked on mine as he smirks. "Nah, baby, you can't lie to me… Everyone wants me."

I look at him, backed up in my seat completely, and then look past him at the stuff on the stove. "Ah… Um… Dean… baby… you're stuff is burning…"

He looks back and groans, sliding off the table and sauntering back over to the stove, leaving me to deal with my damn erection. I can visibly see that he doesn't have one, which pisses me off a little bit. I'm fucking hot! Why the hell isn't he as turned on as me?

He fixes whatever's on the stove and taps his chin thoughtfully, licking those perfect lips of his and glancing over at me before concentrating momentarily.

I'm pretty sure this is where things started to go downhill.

Satan, or 'Luci', which I'm assuming is short for Lucifer, although I could be wrong because Dean seems to give erogenous nicknames just for the hell of it, appears in the kitchen almost immediately. His long black hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail and he's wearing a pair of billowy black pants, his dark eyes disinterested. He looks around, glares at me for a few moments, and then casually laces an arm around Dean's waist, tilting his chin up with his other hand to lure him into a kiss.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat as Luci gets his tongue in Dean's mouth and they proceed to make out in front of me; god, I feel like a total pervert for staring at the two of them. They finally draw away from each other, Dean licking at Luci's lips experimentally before receiving a smack on the ass from Satan, who grins and murmurs, "You making enough dinner for me, baby?"

Dean grins at him in return and nods. "Of course I am. You can't cook for yourself."

Luci pulls Dean in again and smirks at him, nibbling his lower lip experimentally before fixing me with that same dirty glare. "You want to look away? This isn't something for you to be watching."

"Okay, well, you know, if you didn't want me to watch, Satan, dear, then you wouldn't be fucking making out in front of me." I huff and look away, crossing my arms and focusing on the wall, refusing to look at the two men in front of me.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Luci turn to Dean, who murmurs, "He's super jealous," softly before kissing Luci again and turning away, going back to whatever it is he's cooking.

I glare at him and sit back in the chair. "I am not jealous. I just don't understand why your darling 'Luci' is here." I'm so fucking jealous. I mean, seriously? Death and Satan are boning. That's not fair. Satan has a hell full of people. Death picked me. Not some stupid faggy douchebag long-haired hippie Satan.

"Life isn't fair. And I'm not a douchebag." I flick my eyes back to Luci and he sneers. "If anything, you're the douchebag. Get over it. He doesn't want you. Besides, I came here because Dean has a job to do."

Holy shit, Satan's a mindreader. I stare at him for the longest long and he cocks an eyebrow, challenging me like the asshole he is. We glare for a good few minutes before Dean shakes his head at Lucifer and slips a hand over Satan's chest, leaning up on tiptoe to kiss him. "What do I need to do? I haven't gotten anything on the TV."

"Nah, this is a 'special' case. Kid's not actually dead yet and he's a sensitive, so I figured it'd be a good case for you and your… pet." Another nasty look in my direction before Lucifer catches Dean's wrist and pulls it away from his chest, kissing him again slowly. When they pull away from each other, Luci backs up a bit, sitting down on the table and watching as Dean nods, continuing to cook.

By the time dinner is ready, I know I've made a long time enemy in Lucifer. We're staring at each other with such total and complete hatred that the room itself is tense, almost crackling with the anger between us. Dean sets dinner down and looks between us two, distracting Luci with a kiss and looking at me pointedly. He walks over to me once he's broken the kiss with Lucifer, touching my back lightly and whispering, "Vegas, don't fight with him… He'll make your life hell. I mean that in the worst way possible."

Dean pats my shoulder and then sits down, smiling at Lucifer, who gives him a tight-lipped smirk and then glares at me. We eat dinner in silence, all three of us dead quiet, not for lack of anything to say but because I don't think either me or Luci want to fight in front of Dean. Get us alone, though, and I'll be tearing Satan's balls off.

Once dinner is done, Dean clears the table and Lucifer gets up, looking at Dean. "Well, I should be on my way, and so should you two. I don't know how long this kid will last without you guys. I mean… I'll just snatch up his soul if you don't go but you might like him, Dean, and I'd hate for your new pet to get too lonely."

Dean nods, giving him a kiss, and then Luci disappears. Dean looks at me and shrugs, smiling slightly. "Come on. I guess we're going down to Earth."