Part One-The Beginning of the End
"I love you. But we have overwhelming pasts that no matter what we do, we can not overcome. This is the last time, I can see you. I want to prevent you, and I from getting hurt anymore. Our relationship was built upon lies, and we need to move on. I'm sorry", he said.
I looked at him, fighting back tears. I knew he had wanted to talk, but I was never expecting this. I had though that he wanted to tell me that he wanted to take the next step towards being in a serious relationship. The real thing. True love. I was not expecting my boyfriend of three and a half months to break up with me.
I swallowed hard. "Isn't it going to hurt both of us more?" I asked.
"Yes, but in the end, its for the best. I am so sorry", he said.
"But wait, don't you know that I love you? Don't you know that this is my life? You are my salvation, Micheal. You're my one and only true love", I said.
"But we both lied to each other. You lied about Dan, and I lied to you about that other girl. If things have gone differently, then we would have had a future together. But, this is not a real relationship. Its one build on lies. And that is not a relationship."
I opened my mouth.
"I'm going to ask you to leave me alone, and to have no contact with me. This is the best way. Trust me one last time", he said.
He got up to leave the last time, I'll ever see him. His face looked hurt, body shaking. My face must have looked the same way. I bit my lip to keep me from crying. But how I not cry? I had just lost my true love.
I took out my cell phone, not caring about the library's rule against texting. I didn't care. I just needed to talk to someone. Anyone.
I didn't realize who I sent the message to, until my pink motrola razr vibrated. I gulped. I sent the message "Me and Micheal broke up" to Dan, a person who did not like me very much. Oh, God. Not a good idea on my part.
Hands shaking, I opened the message, bracing myself for the horrible words that the text message contained.
Dan-I'm sorry. Don't worry, Katie. There are other fish in the sea. Soon, you won't care about it, and move on. It won't be easy , but you're going to have to do it.
I wanted to throw my phone, but at the same time I was relieved that there was no horrible and insulting words in the message. And shocked too. I thought for sure that he'd laugh in my face. Or mock me. Or both.
My fingers shook as a typed a reply. A minute later, I sent a 160 character reply back to him.
Katie- Damn right its going to be hard. I miss him a lot. I can't stop think about it.
Minutes later, a reply came.
Dan- Stop thinking about it. And stop caring. Then, it would hurt less. Trust me.
Katie- I can't, Dan. It just hurts too much.
I slammed my phone down on the library table, not caring about whether or not the phone made the fall. Dan was right, although I couldn't bring myself to realize it.
I missed Micheal.
I missed Micheal.
I missed Micheal.
The words formed a blob in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking the same three words, repeating the same maxim over and over again. It wasn't making me feel any better. And it wasn't making me feel worse. I was in a black hole. A massive black hole. The hole was beginning to form, right where my hear t was. The person who had stolen my heart had broken it. Isn't there some law against it? If not there should be. If he really, truly loved me, why would he be doing this to me? I remember his face, how hurt he looked when he choked back those words. He must have been close to crying. But he wasn't an overemotional female. He was a well-balanced male.
The tears slowly began to come. I could no longer repress them from coming. They just flowed, like a river from my eye.
Be happy, I told myself, but it was no use. It was an epic fail. My heart was bleeding, and the blood was flowing from my eyes.
I wanted to go back to that moment I first saw him. That one day, that changed my life forever.
It was a sunny spring day, in mid-May. It was a day. That from the minute you wake up, you know it was going to be a good idea. You didn't know why it was going to be such a wonderful day, you just had a good feeling that it would be. And I knew that this feeling would make me have the wrong outloojk on the day. Or I'd screw it up, somehow, somewhere.
Going to bus stop, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. I wore a pair of old sweatpants, with black Ugg slippers. I was blasting my ipod, Bright Eyes, my new music obsession. It wasn't half bad.
I went through first, second, and third period. Nothing. Same old boring high school. Blech.
Fourth period, things changed. Not for the better, but for the worst.
I was on my way to sociology, and Dan, my ex-crush walked by. I smiled. After all, even though we were no longer friends, the least we can do is be civil. Is that crazy? I think not.
He noticed it was me, and gave me a look so cold that if he was crying, his tears would turn into ice. The phrase 'if looks can kill' suddenly came into mind.
My eyes met his. His usually warm and welcoming eyes turned cold, dark and ominous. I shuddered, and quickly looked away. I didn't want to see that look ever again. So much for having a good day.
I then quickly realized that I had about 30 seconds to get to my next class. I sprinted the last few yards to get to my class. I made it, with only five seconds to spare.
"Cutting it close, huh?" a deep voice asked, the bell ringing in the background.
I looked up, and saw the most handsome guy I had ever met. He had dark red hair, almost orange. Kind of like the color of Garfield's fur. But, I strangely liked that color. He wore glasses, with thin black frames. Warm brown eyes were looking through them. His pale face was sprinkled with freckles. He looked like a nerd to be honest, but there seemed to be much more about him then just that. I suddenly forgot about Dan's coldness. Dan who?
I quickly caught my breath, and laughed.
"Yes I have. I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?" I asked.
He laughed. "In a sense, yes. My family moved here from Wymong late last year. I have been here since December.
I feel dumb. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just never seen you before."
"It's okay," he said.
"So your name is?" I asked.
"It's Michael. What's yours?" he asked.
"It's Katie. It's nice to meet you", I said. We shook hands. The second that our hands met some weird tingle in my body shot through. It was a strange cold feeling. I smiled, and he smiled back.
"So I think we should sit down now", I said, breaking the minute long silence.
"Yeah, I spose you're right", he said.
"Well, uhh, I'll talk to you later", I said.
"Sounds great", he said, smiling.
I stumbled to my seat, trying my hardest not to trip in front of him. Once safely at my seat, I scanned the classroom, in search of Michael. He sat in the front row, in the center. I wondered why I have not seen him before. I guess I was too busy staring and obessing over Dan to notice me. Stupid me.
We had a test. Pretty easy though. I quickly finished, then opened the novel that I was currently reading. Twilight. I flipped to the end, when Edward took Bella against her will to the prom. They were dancing, and telling each other that they would always be there for one another.
I sighed. This was only a fairy tale. Finding true love in high school is like finding a needle in a hay stack. Nearly impossible. Or even finding a guy that was decent was a very impossible feat. But reading Twilight gave me a sense of comfort. It let me dream about what might happened between me and Dan. Oh my God. I needed to get over him.