The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig

Once upon a time there were three little wolves named What Big Eyes You Have, What a Big Nose You Have and What Big teeth you have. But most people called them by their nicknames: Eyes, Nose and Teeth.

They were friendly, happy-go-lucky whelps who loved to play in forests and fields, enjoying the clean wholesome wonders of nature. One morning, after visiting friends on the other side of the hill, they returned to their favorite playground. The sight that greeted them caused them to cry out in shock and disgust.

"What a filthy mess!" gasped Eyes.

"It looks like a garbage dump," snorted Teeth.

"Worse than that," said Nose, holding his nose. "The stench of urine, feces and vomit is overpowering. Some crude monsters have made the whole field a stinking mud hole."

"Monsters is right," said Eyes. "Only one group of creatures could cause this much damage -- The Big Bad Pig and his gang of slobbering swine.'

"Yes, this has to be the result of one of their wild parties," said Teeth. "Which accounts for the earsplitting, bloodcurdling sounds we heard last night."

"I thought some lunatics had escaped from an insane asylum and were murdering every living thing they could find," said Nose.

"We'll have to find another place for rest and recreation," said Eyes. "There's no telling how long it will take Nature to recover from so much destruction."

"Why do they have to spoil things for everyone else while playing their nasty mating games?" Teeth wondered.

"It's their beastly nature," Nose said. "They can only enjoy sex while wallowing in mud and their own filth."

"I think they enjoy the mud more than the sex," Eyes said.

"Well, let's try to be optimistic," Teeth said. "This is only 1969. Maybe the pigs will learn to clean up their act in forty years or so."

"I doubt it," Nose said. "More likely, they'll do even worse to the rest of the world than what they've done here at Woodstock."