And so it begins.

Somehow I'm slipping,

trembling on the edge of something

long-lost and forgotten.

A past I've tried to bury,

to drown beneath a smile,

beneath a mask.

An image of confidence.

Anything to trick myself

into believing something.

A truth.

Any truth.

Anything but the truth.

What is it about you

that has me hooked

like you're some kind of drug

meant only for me?

What is it about the past

that keeps haunting me

in every dream and nightmare

with the same old empty promises?

What is it about me

that made me so vulnerable

to your smile, your eyes,

and got me addicted?

So again it begins.

Somehow I've relapsed,

Deluded by dreams of something

long-lost and forgotten.


a/n: and that's all it is... a relapse. i must have over-estimated my strength somewhere along the line, and he slipped through the cracks in my defense, getting back under my skin. it's almost worse than before, when it was real. these deluded dreams are induced by my own personal drug, the old feelings creeping back over me... and i have nowhere to turn to make it end.

but it will never end, will it?