I strolled casually up to the man of my dreams and tapped him on the shoulder. Kyle spun and looked at me a bit fearfully. "What do you want?"

Okay, so it was the seventh time I'd declared my undying love! He didn't have to get all grouchy. Ignoring his comment, I placed one hand on my heart and said dramatically, "Roses are red." I stopped and eyed him to check his reaction. Nope, still wide-eyed and scared. Okey-dokey, I'd just have to keep going.

His friend hooted and said in a mock-whisper, "Just go for it already, man, she's hot, and she'll be an easy--"

I slugged him and made a mental note to warn my mom that the lawyer was going to be working another broken nose case. I continued. "Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and I love you!"

Kyle took three huge steps backward and looked even more terrified than usual. Well, jeez, I'm not that freaky. I pouted and opened my mouth to speak.

I suddenly found myself being picked up and tossed over someone's shoulder. I heard a thump and a loud moan, and whoever was carrying me spun and jogged away. I noticed all of a sudden that Kyle had been decked. I narrowed my eyes at the flat, perfect butt that was right in front of my eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Kidnapping you," a man said calmly.

Oh. Okay. "Why'd you punch Kyle?"

"'Cause he's stupid."

"My dad's going to get a little bit mad if he finds out I haven't been taking my vitamins," I pointed out reasonably. "If you'r determined to kidnap me, can we stop at my house first? Oh, and do you have any tampons where you're taking me? I don't want to be caught unaware."

"I was kidding, Lexi," the voice exclaimed, plopping me down in a sports car.

"Oh. Darn. I've always wanted to be kidnapped," I pouted. I looked at the pretty car. "Shiny," I remarked. "Do you take a bath on Tuesdays?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're pardoned," I assured him. I looked up. "Hey, I know you! You're that dude who's always at my house! Uhhh..."

"David," he supplied wryly. "Your twin brother's best friend? Good grief, Gamaliel never mentioned that you were nuts!"

"Who's Gamma-lyle?" I asked.

"Gamma-lee-ell is your twin brother."

I furrowed my brow. "I should have known that shouldn't I?

David climbed into the car. "Yup, you probably should have," he said with a startled laugh.

"Hey, you say 'Yup' too!" I exclaimed.

As we drove off, I heard David mumble under his breath, "And I wondered why he said she needed a babysitter!"

It was drowned out when I started to sing.

"Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you so well,

If I had a peanut, I'd give you the shell!

Oh, I love you, I love you, with my heart and soul,

If I had a doughnut, I'd give you the hole!"


That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever written. It was fun though. I like Lexi. She reminds me of myself. My memory is messed up too!