My body went limp and dropped to the floor. My mind was a blur of memories. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I fought to allow myself to collapse. I blinked as the tears continued to stream down my cheeks. I refused to believe what I've just heard. Voices intruded my head, concerned voices that failed to move me. Mustering my strength, I made a sprint to my room. Swiftly locking the door, I collapsed against my bed.
"That wasn't possible. No, no, no! " I yelled into my pillow. Allowing myself to cry, scream and wail into my pillow, in hopes of muffling my screams of anguish.
As I closed my eyes, I felt feathery-light kisses brushing my cheeks. I groaned, and cried harder. He could not be gone. How could he leave me alone? Wiping my tears, I forced myself to process all I've just heard. Car accident.. Hospital... Too late... Heart had failed...
Why... Why did it have to be him? I tried to control myself but I was too distraught. Desperate, I resorted to blaming him. Why didn't he watch the road? He must have crossed the road with his eyes closed! How foolish of him! Why did he not think of the consequences?
Deep down in my heart, I knew. I knew he did not want things to turn out this way. Memories flooded my head, causing my heart to tug. Slowly, painfully. A fresh flood of tears flowed freely from my eyes.
A soft caress, a grin and a laugh that I have grown to love. He promised that he would never disappear without warning me. I knew I was being childish. I did not care. How could he? How could he not tell me? Did he not know it would cause me much misery?
Laughing in the rising sun, his soft, gentle voice promised, "I'll never disappear without telling you first."
His strong arms encircling me in an embrace. That embrace that made me feel like nothing could ever harm me.
Everything shattered as reality brought back my senses. He's gone. Forever. Never again will I hear his voice. Never again will he laugh with me. Never again will I hear his laugh, never again would I see his smile. Never...
He could not be able to help me if I got into an argument. He would not be the firm voice of reason that would make everyone trust what he says.
I would be all alone. I would have to fight my own fights. His comforting arms would not protect me not comfort me anymore.
Getting up weakly, I stumbled to the chair near the window where we had spent many nights looking at the sky. Looking out, now, to the sun setting over the horizon, I made myself think that he would call me tomorrow. I nodded firmly to myself, "It was all a joke."
It was all a joke, he would call on me tomorrow. with his teasing grin and shrug, as if nothing happened. I smiled to myself, "And they lived happily ever after."
Remembering his words, or rather mocking comment, at my fetish with fairytales, my eyes poured out another round of tears.
"It never really happens, it's just for kids. It's all a scam."
Smiling weakly to myself as it turned dark, I agreed with him. It was all a scam.