"Shut up, Rammas," Shaths growled as he undid his pants. I tried to struggle, but I had no leverage to do much more than twist my body, which in turn made my wrists scream in protest. I opened my mouth to scream for help when the door across from me opened, but my voice stuck in my throat and my eyes widened when I caught sight of who it was. I jerked hard at the ropes that bound my hands and Shaths just turned around and grinned. My boyfriend, Sisn, stood there a moment, pure anger lighting up his expression and then he turned, walking out of the room again.
"Wait, Sisn! Help me!" I screamed, but he either didn't hear or he didn't care. Tears of pain, both physical and emotional began to fall from my eyes, and I felt all the fight leave my body.
"What a great boyfriend you have there, Rammas," Shaths mocked, laughing as he pulled my hips up to slam his length into me. I screamed at the painful intrusion, my arms jerking and causing the twine to cut deeper into my wrists. My pain only seemed to drive him further and he wasted no time in continuing to ravage my body, thrusting roughly. I wasn't a virgin by any means, but it still felt like he was tearing my body in half and I could feel the warmth of my blood sliding down my thighs.
"Thanks, Rammas. That was fun," he said with a grin once he was sated. Once he'd cleaned himself up, and pulled up his pants, he cut the twine that had by this point cut deeply into my wrists, allowing my body to fall limply to the floor. I was vaguely aware of him walking away, laughing, as I laid on the locker room floor, bleeding and covered in his semen. Feeling ultimately betrayed, I made no move to stem the flow of blood from my wrists, and easily succumbed to the darkness of unconsciousness.
I was aware of someone shaking my shoulder and calling my name, but I couldn't find the strength to open my eyes or respond. I didn't understand why Sisn would have just left me there to be raped by Shaths. Could he have possibly, honestly believed that I wanted that? Did he think that I wanted to be tied up and touched by someone other than him? A soft, weak sob escaped me and the hand on my shoulder disappeared.
"Someone get a teacher and call an ambulance," I heard a voice yell from above me. I couldn't place the voice but it sounded familiar, although I couldn't understand why it cared. They should just let me die like this.
"Dude, there's so much blood," another voice remarked, disgust evident in his voice. "Is he even still alive?" Now that was a good question. Was I still alive? I seemed to be, but I didn't want to be.
"Yeah, he is," the first voice replied and then I felt the hand on my shoulder again. "Come on, Rammas, wake up. You need to wake up." A gentle shake of my shoulder, but I could feel the trembling of the hand that touched me. Whoever it was, was scared.
"Out of the way! What's going on here? Move aside," a gruff voice demanded as it drew ever closer. "Holy fucking shit... Call an ambulance and get the nurse down here immediately!" the voice yelled, panicked. "Ash, what the hell happened here?" Ash? Was that who was trying to wake me up?
"I don't know, Coach," Ash replied, his voice soft. "He was like this when I got here and I've been trying to get him to wake up, but he won't respond." I felt a hand at my neck, pressing against the side and lingering there for a few moments.
"He's still alive, but that's a pretty weak pulse," the coach said. "He's pretty cold too. Someone get me something to cover him up with!" A few moments passed and then I felt something being laid over my lower half, covering up the evidence of my violation. For a moment, my eyes fluttered open a little, taking in the sight of a very scared, dark haired wrestling team captain and the scary looking bald wrestling coach.
"Rammas! No, no, don't close your eyes again!" Ash yelled, his hand gently patting the side of my face. He had such warm fingers compared to the cold floor. "Come on, Rammas, stay with me now." I let my eyes linger open, watching the popular wrestler, his green eyes opened wide.
"Rammas, can you tell me what happened? Who did this?" the coach asked. My eyelids fluttered again, feeling immeasurably heavy. I heard my name being called again as my eyes rolled back in my head and the darkness found me once more.
Voices. Lots of voices talking around me. I wanted them to go away, just go away and leave me alone in the darkness. There were serious voices, actually they were all serious and somber. There were no worried voices. Of course there wouldn't be. My parents had disowned me years ago when they found out I liked other boys. I wanted to open my eyes and find out what was going on, but I feared that if I did, those voices would become directed at me.
"We collected a rape kit and did the nail scrapings before we took him in to surgery," said a particularly somber voice. "The damage to the muscles and nerves in his wrists was extensive, so it may take awhile for him to regain proper use of his hands. I don't know if he will ever have the same useage that he once did, however." My hands? I focused on the parts in question and began trying to move my fingers. It hurt, but my fingers did twitch and I heard a gasp.
"Rammas? Rammas, are you awake?" It was a pleasant female voice that asked and I struggled to open my eyes. I immediately regretted it when I did, finding a woman and a man in suits with badges on their hips standing there with the doctor. "Rammas, I'm Detective Collins," the female said, moving closer to the head of the bed. "Can you tell me what happened?" I stared at her for a long moment, not wanting to talk, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't go away unless I did.
"I.. made a mistake," I mumbled softly. "I.. shouldn't.. have.. trusted him.."
"Shouldn't have trusted who, Rammas?" she asked, her voice soft as if she actually cared about what I had to say.
"Shaths.." I wanted to say Sisn too, but I couldn't make his name fall from my lips. He hadn't hurt me directly, but he'd abandoned me, betrayed me by leaving me there at Shaths's mercy. I couldn't believe I'd actually cared about him. I saw the detective's face turn to glance at her partner and sighed softly to myself. It made me wonder if they even believed me.
"Rammas, we tried to contact your parents, but we couldn't reach them," she said. "Do you know how to get in touch with them?" I shook my head and tears came to my eyes.
"They disowned me two years ago," I whispered softly. "They kicked me out, moved and changed their cell phone numbers." With a heavy sigh, she pulled away from me.
"It's probably a good idea to let him get some rest now," the doctor said. "Between the anesthesia and pain medicine, he needs to rest." The detectives nodded and moved for the door, only the female tossed a worried glance back in my direction. As soon as they left, the tears began to fall. I wished that they had simply let me die. I had no real reason to live after all and living for the sake of living just didn't feel worth it anymore. Why, oh why, had anyone bothered to save me when my own boyfriend had abandoned me? Why did I have to still be here?