So here is yet another bit of strangeness for that black abyss of randomness that is my mind. This one isn't QUITE as weird as my other stories (except Unfortunate Things which isn't weird at all but for the twincest thing) but there are unavoidable elements of oddness. You've been warned.

Anyway, later on, the main character has thoughts ABOUT bestiality, but never actually DOES anything, and even in his thoughts doesn't go very far. So if that kind of thing bothers you—even hints of it—you should probably leave now. And no, I DON'T fucking care if you think I'm sick asshole that needs therapy, if you don't like it, just leave. (It's not like it gets any more graphic than kissing—even that is pretty mild—so take your whiny self away.)

And now, for all of those that are still here, let's continue on!


I gave a jaw-breaking yawn, my third in five minutes.

I was in math at the time, and extremely bored. Math was my best subject; by all rights, I should have been in the next class up. Unfortunately, my schedule had gotten screwed up at the beginning of the year and when I finally went to get it fixed, there were no more spots available. So I was stuck, and bored out of my goddamn mind.

"Randy, are you finished with everything?" asked the teacher, Mr. Lee, noticing the glazed look in my eyes.

"Yeah, you have something for me to do?" I asked eagerly. Mr. Lee was aware of my situation and usually gave me assignments from the higher classes to work on when I got done.

He shook his head sadly, "No, but if you want to go up to the library, you're welcome to."

I nodded, "Okay." So I packed up my shit and headed for the library.

It had become sadly commonplace for me to spend a good portion of math class there, so this was nothing new. Within minutes, I was browsing the shelves of the small, underfunded, school library for something I hadn't already read.

I was an avid reader and because my parents were unwilling to fund my "book addiction" (as they put it) or drive me to the "opium house" (also known as the public library; another of my parents' lovely analogies), and I didn't have a car of my own, I had read almost all of the fiction the school had to offer. Occasionally, they did get new ones, so I was always on the look-out.

"Hey, Randy!" called the librarian, spotting me squatting amongst the shelves, "We just got a new book in today and it's your favorite genre: medieval fantasy."

So what if that's a bit gay? I am gay. Now, fuck off.

"Really?" Hopefully, I hadn't read it already; I was about ready to go into boo withdrawal 'cause I hadn't read anything new in so long (guess my parents were so far off after all). "What's it called?"

The librarian, a sweet old lady by the name of Mrs. Schmidt, knew of my obsession and the sorry state I was in, so frequently held new books back for me.

"It's called A Dragon Named Frank."

"Sounds like a little kids' book," I commented, my excitement dying within me as I made my way over to her office where she was apparently looking for the book. Well, at least I haven't already read it. "What's it about?"

Having retrieved it, Mrs. Schmidt adjusted her glasses, squinting at the book and reading the summary off the back cover.

"Let's see…The summary here says, 'Frank is dragon with a serious knight problem. He's the only dragon in Civilization, so of course he gets blamed for all the missing princesses and maidens. Unfortunately, Frank isn't like all the other dragons. Instead of gold, riches, and virgins, all he wants is to be left alone. So, fed up, Frank strikes a bargain with the King; he'll rescue the princesses and maidens from the other dragons in Wilderness and in return, he'll be left alone. So begins his quest involving megalomaniac caterpillars with mind powers and a whole cast of other similarly odd characters. Wish him luck, he'll need it.' Doesn't that sound funny?"

I chuckled mildly, pleasantly surprised, "Yeah, it does. I think I'll have to check it out."

"Good." She checked the book out to me and I sat down at my favorite table (one with a nice view out a a window) to read.

Just as I turned to the first chapter, the lights went out.

I looked around in surprise, as if search of the sudden loss of light. Of course, I could see nothing in the pressing darkness, so I called out, "Mrs. Schmidt? Mrs. Schmidt, where are you?"

There was no answer so I waited a few moments, then called out again, louder, in case she just couldn't hear me (she was pretty old, after all). "Mrs. Schmidt? Mrs. Schmidt, are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

Again, no answer. Now I generally didn't like people, simply on principle, but Mrs. Schmidt was one of the few whose company I actually enjoyed so, book in hand, I set off in the direction her office was in, now very worried.

After running into more furniture than I remembered there being in the library and acquainting myself with the floor more times than I care to remember, I finally reached the door to what I thought was Mrs. Schmidt's office, and headed inside.

"Mrs. Schmidt? Mrs. Schmidt, are you there?"

There was no answer, so I ventured farther into the room, wanting to be sure she wasn't there before moving on. I had taken maybe two steps in when I smacked into something, knocking me to the floor.

"Fuck!" What the fuck is that?! I don't remember something so fucking big being so close to the fucking door! Am I even in her goddamn office?

Rubbing my nose where I'd smashed it into the object, I looked up, eyes straining into the overwhelming, unnatural darkness to see what I'd run into. Of course, I could see nothing, so I tentatively reached out to touch the thing.

The object was curved and smooth, extending from the floor up as far as I could reach, even standing, and beyond. I felt all the way around the cylinder thing, but there were no changes in the silky texture to be had.

What the fuck is this thing? I wondered, idly running my free hand over it, And where the fuck am I? I'm pretty sure it's not Mrs. Schmidt's office.

Suddenly, my questing fingers discovered a strange, square hole about level with my chin.

Cautiously sliding my fingers along the bottom of the hole, I managed to fit my whole hand in, but encountered nothing. So I continued to slide my hand in until, somehow, I was up to my shoulder. Still, I had found nothing.

And then, with a start, I realized I was slowly being sucked into the hole, pulled by some unseen force. Panicking, I tried to wrench my arm out, but the force was too great.

Strangely, I suddenly calmed and my panic left me, even as my head and shoulders were sucked with ease into a hole that had been roughly the size of a paperback not even thirty seconds before.

I felt myself slide along the inside of what was by then a smooth tunnel, with extreme ease. I was now completely within the tunnel. I realized with a start I was still holding the book, the other arm stretched out in front of me because I didn't have the room to tuck it back in.

Well, I thought wryly, At least wherever the fuck I'm going, I'll have something interesting to read.

I blinked in confusion, wondering if I was just imagining the tunnel getting lighter, but no, I wasn't, so I turned my head so I was looking down the passage. (I had been content to just stare at the wall before; it's not like there would've been anything to see, anyway.)

I saw a pinpoint of light that was getting steadily larger, and I realized just how fast I was going. It seemed the closer to the light I came, the faster I went and the brighter the light got. Within moments, it seemed like I was mere centimeters from the light and it was absolutely unbearable.

I scrunched my eyes shut, but the impossible brightness seared through my eyelids.

I was just beginning to think I'd never be able to see again, when the light suddenly disappeared. I opened my eyes in surprise, but the light was completely gone, leaving me in the welcome darkness once more.

I heard wind rushing by my ears, felt it tearing through my hair and clothes, burning my eyes, and realized that I was falling. Very fast.

I felt my previous panic and anxiety return all in a rush and flailed my arms and legs to try and catch hold of something, but they just met empty air.

I looked down and was sadly unsurprised to see a pinprick of light growing steadily larger. Here we go again, I thought in resignation.

But instead of being blinding, this light was quite faint. And instead of falling right through it, I landed on something.

Fortunately, it seemed to be a pile of hay, and that sort of cushioned my fall and didn't hurt. Unforuntely, there was something hard beneath the hay, and that did hurt.

"Fuck!" I cried in pain, scooting along the bumpy thing, trying to find a more comfortable spot, "What the fuck did I land on? Gravel?!"

"No, asshole, you did not land on gravel!" snapped an extremely irritated voice, "You fucking landed on me!"

I blinked in surprise, then jumped back in alarm as a huge pair of eyes appeared before me, icy with anger.

My eyes adjusting to the light, I could just make out the face belonging to the angry gaze. It had a large muzzle, at least as big as my torso, covered in shiny scales. The eyes were set back into the head, facing forward under protective scaly ridges instead of eyebrows. The eyes were a fluorescent, neon green, but I couldn't really tell what color the scales were, just that they were dark. There were no ears, only divets where the ears should have been, and the top of the head was smooth except for two bumps, almost like horns.

I realized with a start that I was looking at a dragon's head.


And this is where I leave you. Sorry, but the chapter's gotta end somewhere, and what better place than one that leaves you curious as to what happens next? Updates will be irregular, at best, because Unfortuante Things takes precedence. Sorry if you find this frustrating, but I shall be foing my best.

The slash will be kind of slow-moving, so don't be surprised if it's several chapters before feelings manifest, though there will be sex-scenes (though they'll be dreams) so don't fret. ;)

Anyway, review please! It makes me so happy.

Ciao,

Waffles