Every step I took made a splashing sound. There was water under my feet for it had been raining all week.
The weather was in the same as I am… gloomy. I could tell that the drop that slipped down my face was not rain drop but tear drops.
I had never felt so alone in my life. Recently I was losing my best friend and the other that I had once called my friend was not what I thought. They had talked behind my back and slowly they had out shadowed me.
This made me remember about the first time when I got to school. I was lonely when I started but I didn't feel as bad as I felt now. I couldn't believe that I was losing my friend before I even left the school. I couldn't do anything… I felt so helpless.
Why had everything changed?
Why was I alone?
Why were they talking behind my back?
Why is my best friend not talking to me?
Why don't they notice I'm hurt?
Why don't they notice that I'm crying?
My so called friend weren't the only caused of my loneliness but I was part of it as well and it had all started with a lie.
A lie that for a year made me feel like I was there. Like I had finally something to talk about but now it only makes me feel empty.
Now I can't tell the truth because then I will lose the little friends I have. I will lose the little respect they have on me.
The story I had made and tell was making a huge hole in my chest and somehow I hoped that it would not explode before I could leave. I knew I needed to get away because if they made me feel like I wanted to cry 24/7, then they weren't good for me.
When my best friend told me that two of my friend were talking about me behind my back chatting about how stupid I was made my heart break. I couldn't believe them. I stopped chatting with them I thought I didn't need them… after all I had my best friend but it wasn't long until my best friend got a boy friend and she no longer had time for me.
That's how I ended up in this hole. With no friends and a fictional boyfriend that only I knew that he wasn't real.
I thought that everything would be okay. I had been alone before but I notice that it isn't easy being alone after such long time.
I tried taking all my trouble away but it wasn't possible because my family was the top cherry of my problems.
They would never understand because they don't notice that I'm in a hole alone as well. They just keep talking, insulting and backstabbing.
Why was I so unlucky?
Why couldn't they understand?
Why couldn't they see?
Most important… why could there be someone to be there with me?
Listening to me
When I got home I sit in a dark corner of my room and let out the tear I held in while I was with my family.
I cried and cried until my eye burned.
Then I sat in my room and looked around.
My room was like my world. Surrounded by trash and things that I cared for but as much thing I had I was always alone.