Anyone but me

By Free the Dancing llamas

Chapter One: Preservation, indeed

It has been six months, twenty-one days and two hours since I have been married to a half-witted monkey, albeit a very handsome, half-witted monkey-vampire, named Armand, but still it does not deter me from the fact that we have not spoken to each other or had any sort of stimulating conversation, or really even looked each other directly in the eyes for half a year. It took Adele a week to consummate her marriage, so why haven't we? It is not as if I want to. Oh no, I definitely do not, It is just that it is what married couples are supposed to do, is it not?

Well, just to make myself clear it is not as if I want to help him breed a hoard of half-witted monkey-vampire children, it is just, I feel as if it is my duty. Yes, my duty as female of the household to breed half-witted monkey-vampire spawn for my half-witted monkey-vampire husband to ultimately preserve the life on this planet (albeit a very half-witted monkey life form. Though tis undeniable that the half-witted monkeys, I like to fancy, would be blond and very attractive – like Armand).

Yes. Preservation, indeed.

Look at my half-wit, sitting there on the opposite lounge, with a very perplexed expression on his face, staring, very intently at my face.

Should I be unnerved? Probably.

Why am I not? He has been doing it for the better part of the afternoon and I am so used to it I barely notice he is in the room. Now I am wondering the ultimate question: What exactly is he thinking about? And what I really wonder is if I care. Decidedly not.

I know I should not be surprised that this marriage is not working out. Believe me, I never had any fantasies or delusions about it. I never do about these sort of thiings. I just thought…

Well I'm not sure what I was thinking…but I think it was that, well, if Adele's marriage had so splendidly worked out, then why wouldn't mine?

And then I realised why it wasn't. I was not Adele. Little Adele; so naïve and pretty. Men want wives like that. Somebody they can be proud of. I know it sounds as if I am somewhat jealous of Adele. And truth be told I am. She is so lucky to have Raphael. And yet I know she deserves every inch of happiness for the life she has had to lead. The boarding house experience was not a pleasant one for either of us, but poor Adele was always so timid and nervous, so it always effected her the worst. Me? I suffered silently. I did not like giving the other girls the satisfaction of knowing that they could hurt me. I like to think that nobody can.

Oh, Adele, sweet, beautiful Adele. Like a glass doll.

And of course, then there is me. I am not the easiest person to get along with, I realise this. I know I am an attractive girl, pleasant to look at, but I am so ill-tempered and ill-mannered. I so badly wish to change this, you have no idea how much I do. If I were well-behaved, calm I am so sure that Armand would like me and maybe even come to love me. Bah. I know that this is foolish talk. But still; If I could control myself. If I could be like a glass doll, if I could tell people my feelings, if I could be compassionate, humorous, amiable and above all…

If I could be different.

If I could be anyone but me.

A/N: In the grand traditions of first chapters…it is increadibly short (and kind of angsty)!!!!

I present to you; dear reader, the sequel to: Nobody wants you. Which is the story of Celia and Armand (AKA Half-witted monkey vampire). Oh hot damn its going to be funny. I fancy there will be shortly coming a series of oneshots about Raphael and Adele and their family life. so look out for those if you're interested.

Anyway, so timeline wise, This is when Adele is pregnant and has become Raphael's human servant, the twins haven't been born yet. Adele is about six months pregnant or so.

What do you think? Tell me; is it worth continuing?


Free the Dancing Llamas