Just a Dream

Sometimes, it feels like you're just a dream, a figment of my imagination, weaved from deep inside my heart, from inside my soul. In my head, you are perfect, gentle, brave and most of all, beautiful. I'll close my eyes, curled beneath warm blankets over my head in the dead of the night, exhausted from the day. I wait for sleep to take over me, and when it does, I arrive in my dreams. Usually, you're already there waiting for me. Sometimes, I dream simply of your face, with the golden tones in your skin, admiring your full bottom lip, the way your hair falls in front of those warm brown eyes, always your eyes. Most nights, I'm waiting in the streets under dimming streetlights and you're perfect for me. And just as I start to wonder where you are, you come strolling towards me in that loping walk of yours. Long, graceful strides and that cute smile of yours. You said once after I had trouble sleeping. "Where've you been, Boo?". You stroked my cheek once, twice... three times and then took my hand. We ran and ran, never becoming tired or breathless, leaving no footprints because in my dreams, it's only you and me in the world. Suddenly, we were flying over the horizon, over the clouds and the sea and the mountains and valleys on golden wings and we were the same, just the same; you and me. The wind blew the hair off our faces, blurred our vision but yet, the whole time, all I could see was you. We jumped off the crescent moon and landed in a wide, open prairie and laid there, talked for what seems like hours. We said important things, one I remember clearly.

You said, "Follow your heart, Boo.". We swam in the warm, refreshing waters of the Shenandoah and you picked me up, spun me around in a whirling speed. We talked of our childhood, memories of Barbies and sandboxes; Rugrats, GI Joe's and Tonka Trucks, imaginary friends and being afraid of the dark; of spiders. You took my childhood in your stride and we ran ashore laughing like two little girls. You pulled me close to you, pressed your lips to mine, kissing me deeper than the ocean until I felt faint. We stopped then, breathless and you looked behind me at the moon falling asleep as the sun began to wake up from in the hills because dawn was growing so near. You ruffled my damp hair lovingly and said. "I love you but, Boo, you've got to go home now,"

I didn't believe you as I shook my head vigorously. You gave me one last smile, tapped my nose and turned, and began to lope away from me. I stood there for a moment, shocked. I didn't know the way home, where was home? Where was I exactly? You seemed to be going so slow but as I gathered all my energy to follow you, I could not catch up. My legs were churning under me. I kept following you, yelling for you to just wait for me, tell me the way home, but you wouldn't stop, and neither did I. I kept running. I chased you across the world, through the rain forests, over the mountains, swam through the desert and I ended up on the shores someplace else and I picked myself up to follow you but you weren't there. That was when I woke up with a start, my breath fast, heart throwing itself against my ribcage and my legs ached like I had just run a thousand million miles without stopping. I began to search for you, for your face, your warm, hard chest but you weren't there! Where'd you go, boo?

Maybe you're just a dream I'll never get to hold. At times, I can swear that you are. If that's true, then I'm okay with that. I do not see you so often if I am not sleeping and far away dreaming. It keeps me hopeful that I will be awake when you come back to me. It will be daylight then, with the sun shining high in the sky, the moon will be asleep instead of me. We will embrace for a long time, my legs wrapping around your torso, our hearts beating through our skin as they brush one another, our noses will touch so lightly like angel's kisses. You'll hold me so close to you, against you. I will whisper to you in your ear, "Where've you been, Boo?" You will tell me everything, of your days spent away, your adventures, stories of your life, tall tales and your fantasies, how busy you've been. You will apologize and I will forgive you. You'll kiss me so gently, so tender that I'll never ever want to come up for air. We'll continue on being in love...together like we've we've been like this forever, never apart. We can still meet in my dreams, that's okay. But now I know that you are not a dream, a figment of my imagination or a fantasy. You, in fact, are you, and make all those dreams of mine a reality.