ever feel used? like a towel
at the bottom of the hamper that
never gets washed because it's too
colorful. I can't help feeling
used by you. when I find myself
catching glimpses of you
running though my mind. and
your expiration looks, hurt.
but I can't catch you. you won't stop
(you don't want to be caught)
you don't want me to see.
I want you to know I was okay,
at first, for a while. I was
fine. and then, things started
unhinging, and overflowing.
my heart ruptured at a the sound
of your name on my lungs. and it
descended down my throat like a
poison. that you fixed with
half of your left eye. you opened
yourself up, to leave me. you
allowed yourself to drop
into something dark and terrible
just to be left alone, permitted to wilt
without sun under your bed sheets.
(I hope you still hate yourself
as much as I hate you)
because I still can't bring myself to.