You never know when your life is going to fall into pieces, but if and when it does you won't be able to stand the pain of lose.
Alex swam when she wanted to or when she needed to clear her head, but today she swam to drown her pain, the pain that was eating her from her insides. She had just found out that her mother Morgan was going to die soon.
Her mother's first doctor a neurologist gave her 3 months, her second doctor an endocrinologist gave her a year and her most recent doctor a neuroendocrinologist gave her 6 months maybe 7 but that she was going to have to be in the hospital so they could give her the chemotherapy and if for some miracle she could live another month or 2.
25 laps. Twenty five laps. It hurts but I'm not stopping, I just can't stop. Alex thought as she finished and started passing her personal best at swimming butterfly style when something hard hit her on her head.
"Ouch!" She screamed as she saw that it was a football ball that had hit her on her head so she grabbed the ball, got out of the semi Olympic size pool and had just walk out of the pool section to go to the football section when she crashed into someone and fell to the floor.
"Hey watch where you're going." She said a bit angry at herself for everything.
"Oh, I'm sorry miss." This nice gentleman said as he helped her get up from the ground.
"No, I'm sorry I talked to you really badly." Alex said as she got the football off the floor.
"It's ok, don't worry." He said as he saw her for the first.
He had never seen someone so beautiful in his life. Her very dark and very long hair made her eyes look very big and beautiful; her lips were perfect, not too big and not too small.
"Hi I'm Daniel and you?" Dan said with his flirty voice.
"Hi I'm Alex." She said with a faint giggle.
"Nice to meet you Alex. So where are you going?" Dan asked.
"Well someone had a great hit with their football and it hit me so now I'm going to see want idiot it was. Where are you going?" Alex asked.
"Well now I'm embarrassed since I'm that idiot. I'm really sorry did I hit you to hard?"
"Oh you're the one that has to have a really good kick o pass to send it over the wall of the swimming area? It's impressive even though my head is still throbbing from the hit." She said to that gorgeous guy she had in front of her.
"I'm sorry about that. Where did the ball hit you?"
"Right here." She said as she showed him the red spot she had behind her ear.
"I'm so sorry. I really am."
"It's ok, it doesn't hurt that much."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive." Alex said after giving Daniel the football and started to back away from him so she could go back and continue her torture.
"Hey wait, Alex do you want to grab a coffee with me after you finish your swimming classes?"
"Sorry I can't."
"Well first because I just met you and I still don't know you and second I need to go visit my mom at the hospital so I can't sorry, maybe some other time. See you around." She said as she went running to the locker rooms of the swimming area.
When Alex got to the hospital she was still thinking about that guy, Daniel she had met on the sports area of the country club her uncle was member at. To her he seemed like a really nice guy but one never knows these days what people are really like. She got to the room; the room where her mom would most likely die this year.
"Hi mom. How are you feeling today?" Alex asked trying to sound really cheerful even though she felt the opposite.
"Oh sweet heart I'm doing just fine." Morgan said in a faint voice.
"Are you sure mom?"
"Yes honey. Who are you feeling today?" Morgan said as she tried to say you at another tone so Alex could get what she wanted to say.
"I'm ok mom, I swear." Alex said as she sat down at the seat that was in her mothers' room. "Mom guess what? I met this gorgeous guy at the country club uncle Ben goes to."
"Really and what's his name?" She asked getting a bit cheerful.
"His name is Daniel and he's really nice and sexy, mom."
"Tell me about him honey, please." Morgan said in a faint voice.
"Well mom I just met him today but he is dreamy and nice in the outside and after all you do say 'you see what your heart wants to see and not what your brain needs to see'."
"Yes honey that is true…" she said but then blacked out.
She panicked a bit but then recovered her strength and went to find a doctor really fast.
"Please help me. Please." She said a bit panicked.
"What's wrong?" Said a nearby nurse.
"It's my mom, please help me I don't know what's wrong but I know it's not a good."
"DOCTOR!!" She yelled and the general doctor came. His name is Gerald Philips. They went to Morgan's room really quickly, they check her in every way, and they even called her specialist and told him to go to the hospital right away.
Dr. Eric Rietti her mother's neuroendocrinologist got within 15 minutes after the call. They had told him that Morgan seemed to be in a coma but that they weren't sure.
"Well it is odd that this should happen it's not normal for a patient of this kind of brain tumor to fall into a coma I think she just blacked out, I think we should wait a few hours and see what happens." Dr. Eric said in his British accent to the general doctor and to Alex.
"That your brilliant plan? I can't believe you, my mom is going to die and you're not doing anything that is useful and that may give her more time. GOD I HATE YOU!" She yelled to them and to herself, all her life her mother had been with her, they were the best of friend and now she was going to lose the only thing she ever really love. She never met her father and she never wanted to, since he had left her mom and herself when Morgan told him that she was pregnant with his child. She also had her aunt Tina and her uncle Ben but it wasn't like she could just trust then with everything and like she could move in with either of them just like that and even if Alex loved them deeply she couldn't bring herself the ask for help even though she had talk to them and said that she could trust them deeply with everything.
"Leave please." She said to all the doctor and nurses that were at her mother's room. They left.
She cried and cried until she fell asleep next to her mother bed.
"Sorry miss but it's time you go to your house it's getting late and you can't stay here." Said a nurse as Alex woke up.
"Fine I'll leave but if my mom wakes up can you please call me?" she asked.
"Sure miss. Now please leave."
As Alex got into her car to go home she decided to call her aunt and ask her if she could stay that night with her but then remembered that she wasn't home since she was at a business trip so she just called Melinda her best friend and ask her to come live with her instead of the dorm.
"Hey Alex, what's wrong is your mom ok?" Melinda asked.
"Hi Mel sorry for calling so late I just need someone to talk to."
"Alex are you okay?"
"No Mel I'm not okay, my mom apparently fell into a coma this afternoon, would it be too much to ask you to come live with me for a while?"
"Course Alex but do you want me to go today or tomorrow?"
"You can move in tomorrow but I really need you today, it just hurts too much." Alex said as she started crying.
"Alex don't cry, you're going to make me cry, but ok let me get a few things and I'll go. Bye."
"Bye, Mel and thanks."
When she got home she got ready her room so Mel could sleep with her. About 30 minutes later Mel arrived to her place and with a big hug she saw the disaster in which her best friend was in.
"Alex are you sure you can sleep? 'Because you don't seem like you can." Mel said with worry in her voice.
"It's ok Mel and I can sleep since I haven't in 2 days so… I will be able to sleep."
"Ok Alex, whatever you say, but if you need me, you could always wake me up ok?"
"Ok Mel, good night."
"Good night Alex."
As Alex fell asleep she coat herself thinking about Daniel and she even dreamt about him that same night. When she woke up she saw that Mel had all ready started moving to her place and that made her happy in a way. Her phone rang.
"Um, hello this is Nurse Mary from the hospital; I just wanted to tell you that your mother is recovering from the blackout but unfortunately Dr. Eric said it's better if you gave her a few days to get her head together."
"My mom woke up? But I want to see her, I need to see her, please tell Dr. Eric that I need to see my mom, please." She said in a rushed voice.
"Sorry miss but Dr. Eric said that you can't come in for a few days and he is right, you shouldn't; your mother is very weak and you should let her rest, I just called because it is your right to know but you should not come until your mother is much better, good bye." She said as she hanged up on Alex.
Alex was so mad and so frustrated that she decided to go swimming before she killed somebody. As she got to the country club parking lot her cell phone rang.
"Hey Alex how am I supposed to get my stuff in your house without a key." Mel said a bit anger.
"Well by looking under the flowers pot and I should have told you I was going out and told you where to find the secret key, sorry." She said really faintly.
"Oh, ok sorry for getting mad at you and you don't sound good are you ok?"
"I'm just going for a swim that's all."
Alex hanged up on her; she just couldn't bear to talk to anyone when she was feeling so down.
As she made her way to the swimming areas in the sports section she thought to hear and familiar voice calling for some Courtney but she didn't pay much attention to it.
When she got to the swimming areas she changed into her bathing suit and dived into the pool. One lap… three laps … seven laps… twelve laps… twenty laps. When she did her twenty laps at freestyle she went to do another twenty laps but in breaststroke. Two laps… eight laps… thirteen laps… sixteen laps… twenty laps. She was really tired but she was not going to stop until the pain and anger were gone, which by the looks of it was not going to be very soon. She then went to do twenty laps in butterfly style. Three laps… seven laps… eleven laps… eighteen laps… twenty laps. It was physically burning and it was hard to breath but she was still anger so she went on harder when she was near twenty laps; when she was finish with that she went for twenty laps in backstroke. Four laps… nine laps… fifteen laps… nineteen and twenty laps. Now was when she stopped and rested there, flouting on the cold water and waiting for her heart to rest. She wasn't looking at anything specific but when she saw movement she reacted and saw that Daniel was walking toward her and that he was also dressed with a bathing suit.
"Hey there Alex, what's up?" he asked very nicely.
"Not much and you?" Alex said breathlessly as she was still trying to catch her breath.
"Same old, same old. So… why are you torturing yourself like that?" he asked with a funny tone.
"Because it keeps me from thinking stuff I rather not think about and because I like to. Why are you here?"
"Well because I wanted to try my hands on swimming again and maybe this time I would learn to like it." He said cheerfully.
"Good for you." She said coldly since today she wasn't in the mood for company.
He then went and dived into the pool and went swimming toward her.
"Um… you do remember me, don't you?" he asked since she gave him the impression that she didn't remember him.
"Of course I do; you're Daniel, the idiot that hit me yesterday." She said with a more cheerful tone.
"Ok, you do remember me… good." He said really happy that she remembered.
"Sure. Hey if you don't mind, I would like to keep on swimming. We'll talk later if you want." She said as she swam away.
"Oh ok, sorry." He said really sadly.
As she started swimming she could distinguish his outline as he started swimming to, she could even see he was swimming at her pace so she decided to go harder but he also swam harder so they were always at the same pace. After about 30 minutes of swimming freestyle she stopped, seeing that he wasn't getting tired anytime soon; he also stopped.
"You do swim well, don't you?" she asked looking him straight in the eye.
"Yes I do." He said a little amused with her.
"And you were kidding when you said you wanted 'to try and get your hands on with a bit of swimming and that maybe this time you could even like it', right?"
"I've always loved swimming so I guess that yes I was kidding. Now you tell me something, why do you push yourself so hard when you swim?" he asked really wanting to know the truth.
"Because I really like swimming and…and… and because of the pain. That's why." She said and was in the verge of tears because of that.
"The pain?" he asked in a weird out tone.
"The pain of knowing my mom is going to die some." And said that she couldn't hold it in any more and stared crying.
"Oh I'm so sorry." And he went and hugged her a tight as he could without hurting her. "You know let's get out of the pool and I'll buy you a coffee."
"Thanks." She said as she calmed down.
When they had showered and got ready they went to the cafeteria and sat down at one of the tables.
"So Alex um what exactly does your mother have?" he asked with caution.
"She has a massive brain tumor." She said with a really sad voice.
"Oh shit that's something." He said.
"So what do the doctors say about it, can't they do anything?"
"No, it's too big to have it cut out and neither the chemo nor radiation works. The doctors also say that it's growing so fast that in about 6 to 12 months she will… she will…" she said as she started crying again, "die." She finish the sentence and but her head on the table and cried as Daniel feeling completely useless just tried to calm her by rubbing her back. After a few minutes she calmed down and looked at Dan as if asking to help her so he did what he could.
"Alex I want to help you, no I need to help you." He said as he looked her strait in her beautiful eyes.
"Dan there's nothing you can do and she doesn't want to be helped not even by her family, she's tired and weak and she just wants to rest, but to her it's rest forever." She said in a cracked voice.
They look into each other's eyes. Alex saw in those deep bluish-greenish eyes that he really wanted to help her and that there was this sparkly and shine that she had never seen in anyone before. Dan saw in those brown and gray eyes and true love for her mother and a true pain for the uselessness she felt right now but he also realized that those were the eyes that he wanted to love deeply and he swore that he had to see those eyes happy or he was going to die.
"Oh crap, I have to go, bye." She said as she looked at her clock and got up from the table with her coffee.
"Because I need to see if I can fight with my mom's doctor so I can see her."
"I'll go with you and help you with that." He said as he got up.
"Oh it's not necessary, I'll be fine." She said a little taken a back.
"Well not from the looks of it since obviously he's not letting you see her."
She hesitated for a while and then said, "Ok but we go in my car and you come with me just for company and nothing else."
"Fine but at least let me put my stuff at my car first."
"Ok but quickly please."
As they made their way to Dan's car his cell phone rang.
"Meyer speaking." He said just like a lawyer or detective would do. Some one answered in the other end.
"Oh hey Courtney, what's up?" he said and that Courtney said something to him.
"Oh Courtney honey I'm a bit busy right now, why not tonight?" Courtney said something that made him frown.
"Well just for saying that I'm not going to either, bye." He said as he hanged up.
"Um, not to be nosy or anything but was that your girlfriend?"
"Well yeah but she's getting so intense I'm getting tired of her."
"Oh." Was al Alex could say to him. When they got to Daniel's car Alex couldn't believe her eyes, she was seeing her fantasy car a black Audi convertible collection 2009.
"Is this your car?" she asked amazed.
"Well because I think it would be safer and better if we go to straight to the hospital and in your car we would get there faster." She said as she sort of daydreamed being in that car with the windows and roof down at the beach.
"Let me guess, you want to drive it." He said with a little grin on his face which mad her laugh.
"Know I thing about it… that would be so awesome but I wouldn't know how to drive it and I'll end up destroying it."
"You drive it and it's automatic so it's really easy." He said as he gave her the keys.
"No way Dan, I'll kill your car you drive it." She said as she gave him the keys.
"Fine, I'll drive but that was your only chance to drive it… ever, so it's your lose." He said as he climbed in the driver's seat and Alex in the passenger seat. They got to the hospital in no time at all after Alex told him which hospital it was. As they climbed out of the car Alex's cell rang.
"Hey Alex it's me your Uncle Ben, look I just received a phone call from the country club saying you left your car there what happen to it?" He said a little worried.
"Oh hi Ben, and no my car's fine the thing is that I'm with a friend and I wanted to visit my mom and since Dr. Eric isn't letting me see her he offered to help me but if you want I could go get it."
"Oh don't worry I'll tell the manager that you will go get it later. So how's your mom?" He said as Dan and Alex went in the hospital's front door.
"Well she blacked out yesterday and because of that, Dr. Eric said I couldn't see her, but apart from that I guess she's the same as always."
"Oh shit, maybe I should go in with you with, wait for me outside the hospital."
"But…" she didn't even finish what she was going to say since her uncle had interrupted saying, "Alex no 'buts' I'm going to go and that's final, you got that."
"Yes Uncle Ben." She said as she hanged up.
"What's wrong?" Dan asked.
"My uncle isn't going to let me in 'til he gets here so how about we go sit in the benches."
They went and sat in one of the benches that was there. Alex was thinking of some stuff and didn't notice that Dan was watching her. 'She is very beautiful and sweet and even smart, poor Alex she being all that and her mother is dying and she truly loves her. I wish I could give her back mother.' He thought about that and many things that were about Alex.
"Um Dan why are you starring at me like that?" she asked a little weird out.
"UM… what did you say?" he wasn't really listening to her because he was watching her.
"I said, why are you starring at me like that?" she asked with a giggle.
"Oh, sorry about that, I don't know why but I tend to do that." He know he was lying but he wasn't going to admit what he just discovered.
"Ok." As she said that she saw her uncle walking their way and she got up and ran to give him a hug.
"Uncle Ben, I haven't seen like in forever." She said as she released him.
"Ha, ha. It's only been 5 days Al and about that have you been to your guitar lessons in the past 3 days young lady?" he said as he pretended to be mad.
"Maybe." She said looking guilty.
"You play the guitar?" Dan said as he heard that she played guitar.
"Oh. Yeah I do. And by the way uncle this is a friend of mine Daniel, Daniel this is my Uncle Ben." As she said that both Ben and Dan shook hands.
"Nice meeting you Dan, it's good that Al had a male friend by her side."
"Yeah it's nice to meet you too Mr. Ben, sir."
"Go ahead and call me Ben."
As they all walked into the hospital Dr. Eric appeared and then told a nurse something and then walk toward as.
"Alex I was under the impression that Nurse Mary told you that your mother needs rest and that you shouldn't come for some days, now please tell me why are you here."
"I want to see my mom. I need to see my mom and look, I bet you've never lost anyone in your family but if you had you would know that their families will want to be with then whenever they want so please let me see my mom." She said as she cried.
"Fine but one at a time please and only 5 minutes per person." He said as he gave up.
As they made their way to Morgan's room Dr. Eric said that she was weak and that it was best if she didn't talk, he also said that her condition had declined and that she might die any time soon which made Alex cry.