and maybe, it's because you couldn't define in ebony your fear (how you felt about me). god was our witness (his power strong within us) and i emptied my thoughts from my jagged heart if only to keep my honesty breathing. love. i couldn't bring myself to say it, and now i need the oxygen it lacks. please; quit reminding me of things i'll never be, with your smile that leads me to nowhere, tossing in sleep i'll never get. i'm vacant in the black and white you've drowned me in, so label me xe for xenon and count up all the ways i'll die trying - yes. that's right. and now, we're both back at zero.

( where are you )


i wrote this at around midnight last night; i had that itching, i can't sleep until i get down this idea feeling and started writing. each chapter will start with the bolded word.

ps

me and my
ex
had a series of inside joke "album names"
(because both of us are very musical)
and alphabet reasons was one of them.
they all had reasons behind them,
and these are my alphabet reasons
for everything happening right now
(i guess)