i'm trying to fight away the tears,

and i'm blinking,

i'm blinking,

and i'm trying,


i can't find a way to escape this loneliness,

the silence is deafing,

and all i want to hear is your voice,

and everything reminds me of you,


i hear the ringtone i set for you,

but it's always someone new,

i just want to be with you,

with you,


your texts aren't coming,

and i can't help but feel once again,

that no one even cares about me,

and i just want to feel something,


just kiss me right now,

and i promise i'll forget everything,

tell me nothing,

and just hold me,


i want to feel nothing,

but love,

and i know the tears are coming down now,

i can't stop them,


i can't stop them,

because i'm never good at anything,

i'll never change,

for as long as i live,


i don't want to think about anything,

i just want to make everything better,

can't you just make everything better?

i want something to be simple for once,


i can't understand you,

but i still want to hear you,

and i breathe deeper,

because i know i can't see you,


i wonder how lovely it would be to sleep soundlessly for once,

and have someone there to wake up with,

but i always go to bed cold,



nothing is ever going to change,

this is going to end soon,

i'm running away,

and never coming back,


rip a hole right through my chest,

and you wouldn't even care,

don't you even pretend to get me back,

i won't come back,


i won't last long,

and trust me, i know that,

but just give me a chance alone,

like i have been all of my life,


i just want to go back to my normal,

empty life,

it just seems fitting,

and i don't want to remember you,


cutting off is the best thing to do,

but my heart is too weak to do it,

gosh, my whole BODY is too weak to do it,

and i hate myself throughly,


but nothing in the world can change that,

and i wish i could be something,

i wish i could be beautiful,

and the perfect girl,


but i know i'm nothing,

and i need to be alone,

it's my destiny,

can't you see that?


and i still want your arms around me,

just to feel that you want me,

even if it's a lie,

or if you're completely transparent,


i don't care anymore,

and all i can think of is you,

and the rain,

it fits,


and i wish that i could be happy,

i know how much you hate that,

((do you even like me?))

i wish that you would just hate me,


but you want to randomly be with me,

and i want to scream at the top of my lungs,

something's telling me,

that you'll freak out,


i don't like the idea of you leaving first,

so maybe i'll do it for you,

and i'll make it quick,

i'll make you better,


i might just fall to pieces,

baby, just lift me up,

into your arms,

and you know i'll stay there,


but you're still not here.