Dear Mother

Dear mother,

Sometimes I just want to cry,

I don't know why my heart feels sad.

Sometimes I just want to scream,

let you hear what you do to me.

Sometimes I just want to bang my head

on the wall 'til I don't know anything anymore.

Sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin

to get out of my past present future.

Sometimes I just want to run and fly

and fall into my grave.

But I am a silent girl.

I am kind and happy.

You are glad to have such

a thoughtful and adult child.

You don't know that this

is just a colorful mask.

You don't know that

my mirror laughs at me.

And so I'll write with my blood

when I find my blessed end:

Loved you. Free now.