My heart beats to fast in my chest. I feel like any minute now, it's going to jump out and say, "Gotcha". Why, you may ask? I'll tell you why. Him.
*Earlier that day*
"Jessi, I love you. I'm going away in November though, you know that" Shane told me over the phone.
"I know, I can't believe you're leaving in a week and I won't be able to see you at all." I feel like crying but I can't let him hear me cry, I have to be strong.
"Baby, I tried. I really did. I gave my hoodie and my class ring to Angie to give to you." His sister Angie goes to school with me, and she has been our messenger on many occasions.
"I know, I'd rather get your hoodie and class ring from you though. Are you sure your mom won't let you drive up here?"
"I've begged, pleaded, bargained, and asked millions of times honey, you know that." I can just see him now. Sitting on his bed, his head buried in his hands as he closes his eyes and swears in anger. That's my marine, and I'll always love him.
"Baby, I'll try. You know I will. I have to go though. I'll call you when I get home."
"Okay, call my cell phone if it's too late."
"Okay. I love you so much Jessi."
"I know. I love you to Shane"
I sigh as I turn off the phone. It breaks my heart to know he's leaving in 7 days and I won't be able to see him before he leaves. I turn on my iPod, flipping through the music until I find our playlist and play our song. Aerosmith starts singing "I don't want to miss a thing" and I sing along. This song has been so true on many occasions, it's ironically weird. I lay down on my bed, curl up with my stuffed dog he won at the fair for me almost a year ago, and I cry.
*A few hours later*
My cell phone is ringing. I know who it is just by the ringtone. "Enter Sandman" by Metallica is his ringtone. I smile at the thought of his favorite song. I pick it up and answer it.
"Hey babe" I say with a sigh.
"Hi baby. You know you really should keep the screen out of your window. It's a pain in the ass to take out."
"What are you talking about Shane?" I ask as I look around to the windows in my room.
"Open you're south window and let me in" I hear a tapping noise on the window and I smile as I hang up the phone and go to open the window.
I open the window and he places the screen to the side. Even though he's a whopping 6 foot 2 inches, he slides through the window frame with ease, lots of practice most likely. I smile as I step back allowing room for him to step in. He shuts the window before turning back to me taking my hands in his, pulling me forward. I smile as one hand goes under my chin pulling it up and as the other hand slides up the back of my shirt.
I shiver in delight and in cold. His hands are not only naturally cold, but they're cold from the rainy weather he came in from. I sighed with pleasure as I slowly backed up pulling him along with me. I stopped when I felt the back of my legs bump my bed. He heard and chuckled. He broke the kiss only to kiss his way along my jaw line to my neck where he found the hollow of my collar bone that always makes me melt. His hands slid down my back under my bottom, grabbing and lifting me up with ease. He set me on the bed and I backed up pulling him along with me.
He climbed up on the bed with me, breaking the kiss to sit on his knees and study me. I was lying against a pile of pillows and I grabbed one holding it in front of me. Shane chuckled and pulled the pillow away from me and bent forward kissing me on the forehead.
"I love you so much Jessi, but sometimes you are too funny." I pouted and looked at him.
"How am I funny? I wasn't even trying to be funny! I was just covering myself up."
"Exactly babe, you were covering yourself up when you shouldn't be. You're beautiful and nothing in the world can make me change my mind about that. One of the many reasons why I love you." He chuckled at his logic and he kissed me again.
I moaned into his mouth and wrapped my arms around his neck. I let my hands tangle in his hair, quite a feat seeing as how his hair is short. I pulled him down on me and I felt his hands ghost up my shirt. I shivered in delight and cold as his hands reached my breasts. He gently squeezed them making me moan into his mouth. I pulled away to gasp in a breath and his lips traveled to my neck. His hands slid out from under my shirt and started pushing my shirt up. Oh how I wanted to let him take off my shirt and for us to go all the way. I wasn't quite ready though and I didn't want to sleep with him and have him go away for a couple of months. Of course I wanted him to have something for me to remember by, but preferably not sex. I wanted him to remember the witty, smart, beautiful girl he had back home patiently waiting for him. Besides, sex was something he had to look forward to, one more incentive to be careful and not get himself killed. I gently pushed him away a little breathless. He looked at me with lust confusion filled eyes. I took a deep breath before saying anything.
"Shane, I really want to but I don't think I'm completely ready for this. Besides, when you go away, I don't want you to remember me for the sex; I want you to remember me for why you fell in love with me. Besides, you can add sex to your incentives list for coming home to me safe and sound." He looked at me with love and understanding then.
"Jessi, one of the many reasons why I love you. I'm sorry if you felt pressured or anything, just know that I will wait as long as you want. We don't have to have sex until you're absolutely ready." He sat against the wall and pulled me into his lap.
I laid my head against his chest and sat there just listening to his heartbeat. I swear that was the most beautiful song I've ever heard. After a while of silence Shane started singing our song. I smiled against his chest; he knew I hated the silence after too long. It's one of the many weird things about me, after a while the silence gets to me and I start going a little crazy, I'll think too much and I'll hurt myself. I moved out of his arms so I could lie down under the blankets. I held them open for Shane and he smiled before he got under them as well. Once he was comfy I moved over to him and snuggled into his chest. I let out an exasperated sigh and sat up. I pulled his shirt off of his chest and threw it onto my desk chair then smiled. I lay back down with him and snuggled back into his chest. I smiled as I felt his strong arms wrap around me pulling me closer.
He started singing again and I closed my eyes smiling. I looked up at him and rested my chin on his chest.
"I love you Shane."
"As I love you babe."
I laid my head back on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and him singing. I fell asleep laying like that and for the first time in a while, I had a dreamless sleep. To say the least it was a good night.
A/N Okay, first fictionpress. What do you guys think? Please be gentle, lol.